Jason side and stared down at the graves with a pained look. That could have been him, or Brienna in those graves. The very thought caused him to shudder. He gave the graves a quick prayer of peace before turning away to see Samuel entering the house. Jason took a deep breath and jogged off after him. [color=ed1c24]"Sir! Sir, can I have a word with you?" [/color]Jason asked as he neared Samuel. He stopped and looked towards Jason with a neutral look. 

[color=1a7b30]"Ah, Jason lad, how can I help you?" [/color]he asked while leaning next to the houses entrance. Jason stopped and gripped his swords hilt with nervousness. Samuel raised an eyebrow and waited for Jason to speak. After a few awkward seconds Jason took a deep breath and spoke.  

[color=ed1c24]"What was it like when you first killed someone?" [/color]he blurted out and a mentally slapped himself. Samuel seemed a bit surprised by his question, but soon a look of realization came to him and he let a low sigh escape him.

[color=1a7b30]"Ah, so that is what's been bothering you since we arrived. I should have known seeing as how you're a recruit,"[/color] he said and crossed his arms before looking at Jason with a stern look. [color=1a7b30]"When I killed my first man ya say? Well I was no stranger to death when it happen, but I will admit taking a life felt a bit different,"[/color] he said and rubbed his chin to find the right words to describe it. [color=1a7b30]"It felt as if it wasn't for me to decided and take his life, but the heat of the battle blinded us, as it does with any soldier. When the battle ended it had felt like I was pulled from one reality to another. I remember not being able to sleep or eat for month because of my guilt. Hell I wasn't even fit to do my patrols," [/color]he chuckled dryly. Jason listened closely and felt as if Samuel was simply copying his thoughts. Was this how every soldier felt after their first kill? 

[color=ed1c24]"S-so how did you get past it?"[/color] he asked with desperation in his voice. Samuel shook his head. 

[color=1a7b30]"It was a long time before I was over it, but what pulled me from that path of despair and guilt was my beloved wife,"[/color] he said with a smile. [color=1a7b30]"She aided me through my troubled times like an infant and made me grateful to be alive. Though I will say the guilt still remains within my heart, but it is my will to live a longer life by her side that gives me courage to continue on. I pray for forgiveness from the lord and my fallen foes and thank them for letting me stay on this earth a bit longer," [/color]he said while letting a sly smirk. [color=1a7b30]"So Jason, what I am saying is find your happiness and never regret what you must do to keep it, because others will surely be willing to rip you away from it and take it for themselves," [/color]he finished and sighed as he walked over to Jason and patted his shoulder. [color=1a7b30]"Hope I could give you helpful advice lad, I understand what you are going through and I will aid you in anyway, as I do with all of my men," [/color]he chuckled and walked into the house. Jason watched Samuel leave and looked to his feet as he pondered the words he and told him. The guilt remained, but the thought of leaving Brienna seemed to make the guilt vanish. He felt true happiness with her and he didn't want to let that go. He wanted to keep that happiness and stay with it for as long as his life will allow it. 

He tightened his fist and looked up into the sky with a small smile of relief. His world of guilt and sadness was gone and replaced with gratefulness and love. He was alive and free to be by her side, that is all that matters. 

[@Wick]