[@Ciaran]

[i]Kull was no aikido master, but he knew how to hurt a human body. It was like the opposite of the golden rule; do unto others what you don't want done to yourself. As Dame flinched from his bloody spit he employed his own brand of improvised martial arts. He threw a swift snap kick with his rear left leg, seeking to dislodge her right kneecap from its socket with the unforgiving metal toe of his greave whilst she was distracted, before levering her hard to the ground by her twisted arm. If all went well, she'd wind up on her back with her arm still stiffly held, and the looming Kull's gladius half raised and ready to fall like the wrath of a Hyborean god. He'd be near her right side. His legs were the most available stabbing targets, but it'd come at the cost of her life to attack, if she wound up in that position. He was also aware that she could spit at him in return, and was deadset not to let his guard down. He'd had many a foe try to use his own tricks against him in a tight spot.[/i]

"I'm not trying to make it personal, damn you! You're a toadhumping duelist or something, not a gladiator! I don't want to have to- URRRRGH!! How can I say it!? Does a baker try to bake in the workshop of a shoe maker!? Can a shoe maker find pride in making better shoes than a f*cking BAKER!?"

"OOOH, IF THIS WERE A KITCHEN I'D %$#@ YOUR ASSHOLE, SHOE MAKER."

"OH NO, I'LL KILL YOU FOR DARING TO BAKE BREAD IN MY ANUS PUCKERING WORKSHOP. ALL I DO IS POOP OUT SHOES ALL DAY LONG LIKE AN OBESE ELF WITH THE SPICY SCOOTS."

"Well I got news for you, sexy woman! If a shoe maker killed a baker, HE'D GO OUTA BUSINESS..."

*Beat*

*Kull realized he'd strayed a little off track.*

"And... Argh... It's my responsibility to apologize for the MORONS that took you out of your bakery. So... Don't make me kill you, dammit. Settle for a thumb war with me instead if you're that pissed, or Rock, Paper, Scissors!"