"Why, WHY TOM? If I weren't immortal I'd not have even considered helping you with this. What's the point!?"

"You juuuust don't get it, do ya Ozzy, my boy? You can't do things half-assed. You gotta run the full mile, shoot for the stars, y'know?"

"This isn't shooting for the stars, it's dragging around a literal ton of interdimensional monster with a moving dolly. How'd you even find and capture it!? I thought you could only do stupid shit like materialize midgets and make poop sparkles or whatever. Also, don't call me Ozzy."

"The less you know the better,[b] Ozzy[/b]. Some things just weren't made for simple folk like yourself to understand. It's beyond your puny compensation."

"Comprehension, not compensation, [b]Tommy[/b]."

"Oh, well FUCK you too."

[i]A strange pair, they were, a cat-eyed knight and a clean cut man in a white suit tugging a massive black cube roughly the size of a mini-cooper towards the fortress. It didn't look fun. The cube abruptly bucked hard to the side, and with a yelp Auz darted back to catch it and, wheezing with effort, shove it back onto the dolly before it unbalanced.[/i]

"Why didn't you at least tranquilize the damn thing before you put it in there!? Why didn't you rent a moving truck instead of just a $#@% dolly!? Goddamn you Tom, I'm so much older than you it's not even funny. This is more than disrespect for your elders, its nearly murder!"

"Quit whinin' son, we're almost there. And no, I couldn't just 'tranquilize the damn thing'. I found it in that box to start with, who knows how it wound up like that. You think I'd open that shit up and try to feed it some sedatives? Sweet corn on the cob, Ozzy, you could at least be thankin' me for findin' it before someone else did! Damn good thing I'm a wizard who knows about this kinda thing."

"You haven't said why you didn't rent a U-Haul though."

"Aaaaanyways, look! It's just over that bluff. We'll try to fix 'em ourselves, flush the freaks outa this dimension, and we'll only open the box as a last resort. I swear."

"I don't trust you Tom. I never trusted you."

"Then why're you helpin' me tote an eldritch abomination towards an army of meta-beings that emerged from a quantum tear near an abandoned fortress hundreds of miles from civilization?"

"......."

"Yeah, that's what I fuckin' thought, [b]Ozzy[/b]."

"Go to hell."