[@StormHeart]
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[quote]
"What? Of course not! I'm just sick of seeing people like you think you're all that. Hell, you're not even Gurk!" She scoffed. She suddenly noticed the girl had quite expensive clothes. [i]Well, now I have a reason to help her.[/i] "I'll give you this if you stop harassing her." She pulled out some money. Thankfully, Gurk's minions fell for her bribe and left the girl alone.

"Thanks, but I could handle it myself." She smiled. [i]That was [b]not[/b] the reaction I was looking for. Seriously, doesn't she notice that I saved her?[/i] she thought. "I guess I owe you one though. My dad paid for me to get on this yacht and this is how I get treated."

"Well, do you know how to get off this yacht?" Kiera asked.

"Well, I guess I've got a few tricks up my sleeve."
[/quote]
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I'm gonna guess you're a little new to roleplaying, because there's a lot of power-playing (controlling someone else's character) going on here. A lot of players, myself included, are very protective of their characters, and attempting to control them for any reason doesn't usually go over well.

I understand the problem, though. The temptation to power-play, I think, stems from two problems: you want to write more, and you want it to be interesting. I often encountered this issue when I was first starting out with RP. How do I write an engaging story post the people will want to read that uses only my character?

The answer is easier than you might think. First off, half the fun of roleplaying is watching others react to your post. You can make your post considerably more fun to read if you capitalize on that.
[b]Rewrite or reinterpret the previous post in your own words.[/b]
I'll write up an example:

[i]"Work faster, you stupid elf" Gurk bellowed. When Kiera got distracted watching the silver-haired girl, Gurk got mad. "What are you gawking at? Want to trade places with her?"[/i]

That's 3 sentences right there. And if you try to assess Gurk's thoughts and motives, you could make it even bigger:

[i]"Work faster, you stupid elf!" Gurk bellowed. He seemed angry at her sluggishness. Why should he be? He was getting work for free! Or maybe that was precisely why he got mad - it's all too easy to take free work for granted. "What are you gawking at?" he spat. "Want to trade places with her?"[/i]

Now it looks even bigger. But you know what would really make this part amazing? Kiera's reactions.
[b]Discuss your character's thoughts, feelings, and reactions to the previous post.[/b]
Let's try it.

[i]"Work faster, you stupid elf!" Gurk bellowed. He seemed angry at her sluggishness. On the one hand, he had no reason to be, since he was getting free work, but by the same token, it's all too easy to take free work for granted. Kiera had to stop herself from snorting. Far from achieving its desired effect, his shouting only served to amuse her as she watched him squirm. She stole a glance at the silver-haired girl; the poor woman was struggling to keep a brave face in the midst of teasing and sexual harassment. "What are you gawking at?" Gurk spat, wresting Kiera's attention back to the tremendous halfling. "Want to trade places with her?"[/i]

Look at that. It's a full paragraph, and we haven't even gotten to Kiera's actions yet! Just rewriting and reinterpreting the previous post and inserting your character's thoughts and reactions makes an intriguing write-up all on its own. But we're only halfway done. When writing up Kiera's response, you'll want to take into account the following elements: Kiera's motives, thoughts, actions, and words.
[b]When creating a response, write the motives and thoughts accompanying your character's actions and words.[/b]
Weave them together. Let's try it.

[i]"Work faster, you stupid elf!" Gurk bellowed. He seemed angry at her sluggishness. On the one hand, he had no reason to be, since he was getting free work, but by the same token, it's all too easy to take free work for granted. Kiera had to stop herself from snorting. Far from achieving its desired effect, his shouting only served to amuse her as she watched him squirm. She stole a glance at the silver-haired girl; the poor woman was struggling to keep a brave face in the midst of teasing and sexual harassment. "What are you gawking at?" Gurk spat, wresting Kiera's attention back to the tremendous halfling. "Want to trade places with her?"

Kiera snorted. "Oh, heck no! I mean, heck no, [u]Master[/u]. I'm working as fast as I dare, unless you want to become fried hobbit. If you make me trade places with her..." She chewed her lip. She had to think of something to say that would help the girl but didn't agree to trading places. "...I might kill your men in their sleep, just like that girl is doubtless fixing to do."[/i]

And we didn't even have to take control of the silver-haired girl, or even the minions, to write up this post.

So when rewriting your post, remember the following guidelines:
[b]Rewrite or reinterpret the previous post in your own words.[/b]
[b]Discuss your character's thoughts, feelings, and reactions to the previous post.[/b]
[b]When creating a response, write the motives and thoughts accompanying your character's actions and words.[/b]

You can do this! ;)