[center][b]July 8th 5:00 AM
Mojave Desert[/b]
[hr]
"This fucking shit, who the fuck thought this was a good idea?" The Russian pulled at his suit collar. "We've been waiting for hours now, my fucking balls feel like they're about to start learning how to swim with the amount of sweat in my under-"

Another sharply dressed man made a soft motion. All went quiet except for the hum of a car engine. The pick-up truck drifted into place, "Take Me Home Country Road" making its way out of the closed windows in a muffled symphony.

The Russians approached slowly, necks cracking and cufflinks pulled. The door swung open, and a pair of brown boots crashed onto the desert road. The Russians let out a few sounds of confusion as they examined the truck. They'd expected more than one man.

"You the buyer?"

[color=f26522]"Darn-tootin' I'm the buyer, who else gon' walk through this fartin' desert on an empty stomach?"[/color]

The man wore a simple suit, white undershirt, no tie, and a massive yellow helmet that hid a pair of shining yellow eyes.

A silence fell as the Russians stared at him, bewildered.

"...Do you have the money?"

[color=f26522]"American dollar,"[/color] the man said, pulling a wad of bills from his pocket. [color=f26522]"I don't got no Rubles, hope that's no problem for you gentlemen."[/color]

The weaselly one looked at the southerner through beady eyes.

"Not at all, comrade-"

[color=f26522]"Cut the comrade shit, Russkie, I'm here to buy Uranium not rob people of their freedom, respect that, Gopnik."[/color]

The Russian was abashed.

"G-gopnik?" One of the other Russians drew a pistol "Watch your tongue, [i]hillbilly[/i]." The man was undeterred.

[color=f26522]"You know what I find weird? How y'all never once thought I was wearing a wire, and I thought I were stupid."[/color]

"Y-you didn't seem the type-"

[color=f26522]"Y'all are borin' me now, I'll be havin' that 'splodey shit or y'all will be losin' somthin' more precious than any precious metal."[/color]

The Russians barely reacted to the threat, except for a snicker from the one with the gun.

"Right, clearly this deal isn't going to work-"

The gun-wielding Russian's flesh flew off his bones in horrifically burned strips.

[color=f26522]"Oh, whoops, bang-bang over there startled me,"[/color] the helmeted man said, rubbing his chin. He kinda liked the sound of "Bang-bang"... he'd have to work on it. Meanwhile the Russians stared at what remained of their comrade. [color=f26522]"That's a good smell ain't it? Microwave dumbass."[/color]

The helmeted man's hands glowed yellow, the air around them warping and distorting due to the heat they let off. He held his right hand up, palm directed at the weaselly Russian, who looked about ready to shit himself.

[color=f26522]"I wanted to make a deal, boys, a simple goddamn deal, but y'all decided ta fuck me over, the fuck was I expecting from a bunch of Russkie commie sons-a-bitches?"[/color] He paused for a moment. [color=f26522]"Well, I wasn't expecting much at all, but y'all still let me down. Kinda impressive actually. Now y'all can think me a peckerwood good ol' boy all ya want, but I got a quick trigger-finger and a need for Uranium, so fucking with me was the worst, and last decision you ever made."[/color]

The weaselly Russian erupted into a puff of sand and splattered body-parts. The last two were attempting to enter their car and escape, only for it to also explode. The man sighed

[color=f26522]"Didn't have to be like this, I know I'm a dick but I ain't gon' just back out on a deal like that,"[/color] he said solemnly, a briefcase flying from the destroyed car and landing at his feet. [color=f26522]"Ain't that mighty convenient?"[/color]

The case opened after a few seconds bashing on it, and within was exactly what the man craved. He grabbed the Uranium with a gloved hand, lifted off his helmet with the other, and tossed it into the surging maelstrom that was his physical form.

[color=f26522]"Fuck me that's that good shit!"[/color]

The resulting flash could be seen from miles away. [/center]