Oooookay. *cracks her knuckles*


This isn't in a particular order, really.

- Can you be more specific about where the Rifts appeared or, at least, how they were named? The Britain rift is affecting a comparatively small landmass, as compared to Russia (a nation that spans so many time zones that it can be 1:00 in the afternoon in one part and midnight in another) or Africa (a continent that has 20% of the total landmass on Earth). Were people disproportionately affected in Kinshasa or St. Petersburg? Were there times the Rift opened over the savannah or taiga and nothing happened? For that matter, I have the same question about Brazil - the nation is vast, and only irregularly densely populated. Did the hypothetical descendents of Percy Fawcett find their way out of the jungle? Are there super-powered tribespeople or Siberian hermits who were never discovered and never heard Daniel Viela's call to arms?

- What is the timeline of the Rift War? Did this happen in weeks? Years? Getting the leaders of technologically advanced nations (not to mention the leadership of the UN and EU) in the same room or on the same conference call is something that could barely be accomplished in a month, even in the face of an existential threat. Moving troops and materiel is likewise a vast and terrible engine that begins slowly.

- As a corrolary, organizing a meaningful fight against [i]individuals[/i] who can move [i]trillions of tons of water[/i] and topple a nation in less than a fortnight is something that really requires either a period of comparative calm (for example, a period - brief or protracted - where there is a reduced amount of activity outside of Britain's borders) or the immediate and direct threat of nuclear retaliation, and possibly [i]demonstrating[/i] that retaliation. The description of these people is "unstoppable." They destroyed a national government in less time than it takes for your ISP to come and install a modem; a nation with a functional and very advanced army, navy, and air force, and access to hydrogen bombs. You've set up a situation where the individuals in question are to one degree or another irrational (flooding a nation is not the action of someone in their right mind, unless mass destruction of one sort or another had already happened) [i]and[/i] are basically gods. Sharp words aren't going to cut it.

- As a second corrolary my character's background is going to more or less directly address this, but if you have a timeline in mind I'd like to hear it. :3

- Do you have a plan for how quickly The Order advanced technology in order to fight these new meta-humans, and where that advancement came from? Again, given the powers established within the story, the situation is one where basically there are N people who can functionally render combined arms utterly ineffective. Even with all the armies of the world, if [i]all[/i] of these superhumans are in one place, and there's more than one with "move the oceans" level strength, there will virtually by necessity need to be more advanced weapons than planes and ships and tanks. This is something else my character's background goes into, but I'm really writing her as a weird edge case.

- With all of that said, [i]how[/i] is the Superhuman Exile in Britain anything but a post-apocalyptic Hellscape? The nation has been flooded, and with salt water, which means virtually all buried infrastructure has been destroyed. The nation saw an intense, year-long armed conflict with superpowers and the [i]entire world[/i]'s worth of weapons and materiel, which probably means almost all above-ground structures and infrastructure have been damaged or destroyed. Did The Order agree to do nation-building after the conflict? Why would they? 

- How does The Order plan to both detect, and execute, someone leaving the British Isles? Are there nuclear weapons on standby at all times? Do they have some handy weapon capable of killing a demigod?

- Furthermore, in the absence of the active existential threat of superpowered individuals, how does The Order survive as an organized body? The European Union can't even agree on what kind of money to use, and the Kremlin and the White House are addicted to spying on one another and fomenting conflict. We can't even keep NASA's priority on a single project for a decade within the United States. 

- If the above is true, how would characters within the Exile Zone feel anything other than intense dislike, likely blossoming into hatred, for The Order, and humanity in general? They are treated like caged, dangerous animals, exiled to a blasted hellscape with no running water, electricity, or even sewers, and unless someone has the superpower of "Generate Cake," are likely scraping a life of disease and famine from land blighted by a year's worth of conflict. They are surrounded on all sides by people who [i]will kill them[/i] if they attempt to leave. Their kind were captured, tortured, and experimented upon [i]by the people who now hold guns to their heads[/i]. Is that still happening? I can hardly see how it couldn't be.

- Rifter society in the Exile won't be an organic and complete society full of people to fill various niches. How many doctors are there? What about people who know how to splice a fiber optic cable? Would the rest of the world even allow an Internet connection into the Exile? How many Rifters know how to restore Rennaissance architecture or recreate 17th century stained glass? Were there any nuclear engineers or city planners? Were there Rifter versions of Joseph Bazalgette and Isambard Kingdom Brunel? What about nurses or garbagemen or bankers or diplomats? Farmers? Pharmacists? Art historians, psychologists, leatherworkers, conservationists, conservators, or musicians? What about mapmakers or pilots or anything else? How does this affect the society of Rifters in the Exile? 

I probably will have a few more, but we'll start here.