[color=orange][i]"You mother-fucker, I can't believe you bootlegged Sword Art Online!"

"There is no way I'm sticking my head in that thing. Have you seen the specs for the hardware? It's practically a shortcircuit away from frying your skull!"

"Alright fine, but when I ask for my pizzas, I get them. And a WEEK sitting IN the chair, not a set time period, you can time my ass's contact with that sweet, sweet chair."

"And you're sure this rig won't bust on me?"

"...Alright, I'm going in. Just... Do me a favour. Can you call my mom? Let her know I want to talk with her this weekend? Thanks. Yeah, yeah, I'm going. I'll let you know what it's like."[/i][/color]

[hr]

Salacious_Saviour, as good a moniker as any, and easily abbreviated to Sal. He tried to nod approvingly, but being in the character select screen seemed somewhat restrictive. Oh well. Sal commenced creating the baddest, beefiest, badassest MAN that he could create! [color=orange][i]I'm gonna tear shit up with a massive fucking axe! This is gonna be sweet![/i] [/color]

[hr]

There was no log out button. There was a space where one ought to be, but it was missing. After setting up his character, and checking to see that nothing obvious was broken, Sal had planned on logging out and letting his partner take the reins. But...

[color=orange]"What the fu-"

[hr]

"-ck?"[/color] Sal blinked. He was in the centre of the Town of Beginnings. And, it seemed there was to be a speech. Sal fell back in incredulity, mashing his face into his hands. The things that were being spoken, they... It was just his damned luck! He screamed in anger, and then a notification popped up. [color=orange][i]No, No, No! NonononononoNNOOOOOooooOOOO![/i][/color]

Too late. The mirror item activated automatically, even as he struggled to close his settings, and he felt the blue light wash over him. His big beastly man, all primed and powerful, was dust on the wind. And in its place? Sal shuddered, and tried to shrink back into the crowd, which failed, considering the tight leather number he'd been wearing a minute ago over his bulging muscles now hung semi-loose over his rake-thin and untoned twig of a body, and he had a ridiculously large axe dangling from his shoulders. The full impact of his situation had not yet dawned on him, but even as Akhiko fucking Kayaba disappeared and the sun returned to shining in the virtual sky, Sal turned his back on the square, preparing himself for the sulking session of the century.

[hr]

Sal noticed somebody yelling about offerings of treasure, and then he noticed another person come up and offer their services. He weighed his options; continue to sulk, or actually try to get out of this Faustian nightmare. He decided escape suited him, and he could sulk when he wasn't at risk of having his brain get fried. And so Sal drew himself up, and tried to look unabashed in his ridiculous outfit, and hefted his axe (which was lighter than it looked). He walked over to Thomas and Stryker, and raised his double-bladed weapon in a half-hearted salute.

[color=orange]"I could definitely use a switch in gear. For more protection, obviously."[/color]