[h2][b]What [i]harm[/i] can it do?[/b][/h2]

[h3][b]Slums, Evening[/b][/h3]

The gloved hand faltered a little before opening the swinging door to the pub. A job interview? Why was it so disproportionately exciting? On one hand, she had heard of this local band of small fry and the nonsense they limited themselves to - but on the other, this was crucial experience for her. And you gotta start somewhere.

"'ey 'arm!“ a voice called out from behind the counter, "Check it!" And the lanky bartender with the large voice pushed a tap handle and poured some beer-looking substance into a mug as if it was an amazing trick. He only had a second to flinch at the short woman rushing at him from the door and climbing the counter with two swift hops. She tore the mug out of his hand and took a swig. She had to see for herself. And it was exactly what she expected.

After some swishing around in her mouth, she spit the liquid back into the mug. "You kould not help yurself, ah Garth?" If contempt was a solid, the nervously smiling barkeeper would've already been stabbed to death by her eyes. "[i]Cheked it[/i] yesterday? Dis is beer flavored seeling vax. Do you knou vat dis meens?!" Garth was still frozen in a flinching position. 

The loud girl hissed through her teeth as if letting out steam, her childlike face losing some of its surprisingly frightening tension. She jumped down from the counter and pushed the man away from the tap, to get a closer look. "Next pipeline inspektion in one month instead of three as I promised before. I vould redo this, but I don't [i]trust[/i] you, Garth. For damage kontrol, run vater through da pipes for tvo hours. You kan recycle it. Just don't forget to swap it for yur beer or peeple may mistakingly tink dere's someting vorthvile here to drink."

"Ey shut the 'ell up 'arm", the man finally regained enough composure to reply. "I work 'ard for this stuff!" He obstinately filled another mug, and with just a hint of hesitation committed to a swig. "What the 'ell, this is normal beer!"

"Yeh, dat's yur problem rite dere, Garth." She sighed at him, and somehow shot a sideways glance at the mug on the counter. "[i]My problem[/i] is I kan't even trust my barkeeper for unvinding material." With much less energy than what her day started with, the girl walked around the table to sit at the bar, her back against it. She grabbed her mug.

"Now c'mon 'arm, 'm sure I can offer ye [i]somethin'[/i], eh? Eh?" her head turned with excruciating, owl-like slowness to meet his eyes, and even the smallest hint of a smile vanished from his face. "Yah, didn't tink so." she said into the mug, then took a swig. "Eh, dis will do. I've alvays been a lightveight anyvay, yea?"

Garth laughed nervously, wondering what kind of marketing strategy to employ to prevent Harm Titanfoot from ever walking into his bar again.