[@Landaus Five-One] [hider= Strike One ] [u][b]Your Original Post:[/b][/u] Tempest arrived at Hyall on its outskirts, by using the winds after using an altar to travel between realms. She walked into town and kept her eye out so she doesn’t bump into anyone, even though it’s pretty congested nonetheless. She carefully kept her eye out for certain things including someplace to take it easy. [color=f49ac2]”[i]I need to relax some[/i],”[/color] Tempest thought to herself. She was a bit too distracted with her thought and she bumped into someone in the middle of the pathway. While heading towards the nearest inn from the entrance of the town. Her facial expression was slightly embarrassed when she had done so. [color=f49ac2]”I’m sorry for bumping into you,”[/color] Tempest said, politely. She was hopeful this person would allow her to go on. [b][u]Major Errors:[/u][/b][list][*] (misuse of) Prepositions [*] Unnecessary detail [*] Missing detail [*] [i]Self contradiction[/i][/list] [u][b]My Edit:[/b][/u] Tempest arrived on the outskirts of Hyall, the winds and altars used to travel between realms delivering her safely there. She walked into town, keeping an eye out so she wouldn’t bump into anyone. The crowd was pretty congested today. She looked around as she wandered for certain things in the shop windows- including someplace to take it easy. [color=f49ac2]"[i]I need to relax som[/i]e,"[/color] She thought to herself. Even though she had been trying to make sure she wouldn't bump into someone, the shiny trinkets and overpriced dresses in the shop windows distracted her. She blushed at her own clumsiness as she and the stranger ended up stopping in the middle of the street. [color=f49ac2]"I’m sorry for bumping into you."[/color] Tempest said politely. She was hopeful that this person would just forgive her and allow her to go on. [/hider] [quote=@BlackPanther] [center][img]http://i.imgur.com/hYsukji.png?1[/img][/center] Update: -Players who apply for a CS position must also attach in a separate hider a sample post which will contain visual of your Grammer and spelling efficiency, sentence integrity and fluidity. If we feel that your sample post does not meet our expectations for this rp you will be asked to either rewrite the post or send us a more recent post of your own. The other standard rules apply. [center][img]http://i.imgur.com/hYsukji.png?1[/img][/center] [/quote] So because of this Rule and my position as "The Grammar GM", I'm the one who reads through the posts for grammar and whatnot. I've edited your most recent post in the hider above so it meets the expectation that I personally have for posts. I've given you the answers this time, but in the future please take a little time to proofread your post and make it [i]that much[/i] better in the first place. You may notice that the hider says "Strike One". Just like in Baseball, once you reach three strikes, you're out. Now, I don't mean out of the RP per say, but definitely out out the frying pan and into the fire. [center][img]http://i.imgur.com/hYsukji.png?1[/img][/center] {@Everyone} Now, I'm not just calling Holy out for fun. This rule [u]does[/u] apply to everyone. Now, it's not like [i]any[/i] error in spelling or grammar [i]at all[/i] will get you a strike: we aren't trying to be dicks. At least one whole paragraph has to be consistently bad for me to even consider giving a strike, okay? and I'll always edit it myself and point out things that could be improved to try and help. For anyone with concerns about Grammar/Spelling and maybe wants help, PM me. I've got resources than I can share or I could just work with you directly if you want. This rule isn't meant to keep anyone from playing, it's just to try and keep this RP on the higher side of "casual".