[quote=@Dervish]
[h3]HI GUYS, WE FINALLY READ OVER ALL THE SHEETS![/h3]

   Nani Tilhart by Rtron


[hider=Nani]
*The Family openly practices necromancy, apparently. One has to wonder how they kept that secret for hundreds of years. IIRC, necromancy was formally outlawed and punishable by law. Surely all this would’ve affected their reputation and standing. - Leidenschaft

[b]It did affect their reputation and standing and would have been a major factor in the things regarding them I mentioned in our DM. I left it at 'Polarizing' in the first write. I'll elaborate upon it more as I address the overall issue of her and her family's Necromancy.[/b]

*http://elderscrolls.wikia.com/wiki/Necromancy Necromancy isn’t outright banned, but there is a massive stigma against it and law does dictate that it cannot be used in public domain and requires consent of the owner of the body to use it. I doubt many soldiers in Nani’s house would consent to their bodies being used as war tools, especially since there’s a lot of uncomfortable questions regarding how it affects the victims’ soul, much like anyone who’s soul trapped ends up trapped in the Soul Cairn for eternity. Does she even realize this is the fate she condemned her father to? -Dervs

[b]She does. But, much like every wielder of the Risen Blade before him and Nani herself when she feels herself dying, her father willingly condemned himself to this fate. I'm not sure if I did this well enough but House Tilhart was very fanatical and almost cult like. I'll see if I can't make that more clear in my edits.[/b]

*What age was Nani when she began practicing magic? Her mother died giving birth to her little brother a year later, it would give us better insight as to how her age might have affected her psychology as an individual. Yet, when the pirates attacked Wayrest, she was only 5? It’s a bit confusing here as she either is a super smart kid studying these tomes and practicing magic, or the timeline is a bit skewed. - Foxey

[b]Timeline got a tad bit skewed. Will fix![/b]

*Dervs had mentioned this about my CS originally with Brynja, and I really do like this CS so far, but it seem to be more of a story focused on her family than Nani, and I’m curious to read more about her than the family so to say. Like, after they flee their home, it becomes what her father and brother are doing than more how she’s reacting to these events. My two cents though - Foxey

[b]Noted.[/b]

*Personality wise, she’s forever an optimist and hates pirates with every fiber of her being, but does she have any emotional traumas? Does she struggle with the loss of her entire family, or is it something she doesn’t think twice about?

[b]*Adds to 'Things to address because you forgot about them' list*[/b]

*It seems kind of strange that the pirates would have been pitting members of a powerful mage society against each other in a wooden arena for the very reason for what Nani’s father did. What was to stop any other mage from torching the place at any time? - Dervs

[b]I take it you won't accept 'because they're pirates' as an acceptable excuse? I thought not. I'll find a reasonable way how they escaped with stronger arenas.[/b]

*Photographic memory isn’t actually a thing, it’s commonly mistaken for eidetic memory, which isn’t an exact recollection. - Dervs 

[b]Bah! Semantics. I'll fix it.[/b]

*Overall, I think you gave Nani a very intriguing and emotional family history, it’s not everyday I read a character's background with this much history. Sorry there were a lot of points to be brought up! A lot of it’s pretty minor stuff, but the necromancy aspect to the character is a pretty serious thing to carry about it has a lot of stipulations to consider. There’s a fantastic amount of content to work with and she’s definitely a solid foundation of a character with a very interesting story, but there’s a lot of refinement and perhaps retooling that is required. - Dervs

[b]Thanks for the critique![/b]

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[@Leidenschaft] [@MacabreFox]