[centre][h1][b][color=fff200]Niesha[/color][/b][/h1]
[img]http://i65.tinypic.com/2prbtlc.jpg[/img]
Location Building six:Armoury[/centre]


Niesha headed to the gates, looking down as she walked, her gear secured on her back, sighing softly to herself. She knew she could have waited for the others, but she wanted to get out of there, be by herself for a few moments. Being in the armoury… it suddenly made everything seem more real, and she didn’t want anyone to assume she wasn’t ready, wasn’t cut out for it… so she walked slowly towards the gates, and merely focused on breathing. 

Going outside the wall shouldn't frighten her, yet it did. They might not get many walkers in here, yet… outside, it was different. And there were people to contend with. She supposed there were people to contend with in here, as well, yet no one really had proven to be a threat. Sure, James had attacked Richard, yet she was sure everyone in the community had wanted to attack him at one stage or another throughout the months living here. Richard just hadn’t been… any sort of decent person, and yet, he had been. This world… it did things to you. He’d lost someone important to him. Bound to make a dick even more of a dick. 

She sighed heavily. Maybe people didn’t change. Maybe human nature simply wasn’t made to change. Maybe people were just set in their ways… and she stopped, her hands curling into fists. She wouldn’t believe that, because if it was true, it would mean that deep down, or maybe not so deep, she hadn’t became a better person. Perhaps it was simply… that people didn’t want to change. A different distinction. Didn’t want to, and unable to. 

She let out a slow breath, and started walking again. She knew she’d came a long way, and she knew she still had a long way to go. And her thoughts had gotten off track, once more. Going outside… yes, it did frighten her. And there was always the chance of being bitten, or dying… but she had to come back. She had so much to do… and she’d promise Tatiana that she’d be her midwife, and she certainly wasn’t going to let her down. 

She couldn’t control what happened though, could she? Suddenly her breaths came hard and fast, and she could feel her heart start to pump faster. Was she panicking? It suddenly felt like it. How long had it been since she’d truly had one of them? Years? Surely… not before the break out? And yet, she could remember those first few days, weeks, months, clearly, as she struggled along with others to fight, to find a way… to build a home… to continue when it all fell apart… There hadn’t been time to panic… maybe she’d been inside too long… apart from a few things, life inside the gates had been relatively quiet… 

She closed her eyes, trying to imagine a slow opening and closing animation, drawing in her breaths and letting them out with each motion. Slowly, it worked and she soon began to walk once more. She’d been out there before. She could do it again. She [i]would[/i] do it again. Simple as that. She was always hardest on herself… she imagined things where they weren’t… imagined people judging her, when they weren’t… She was stronger than she had been, when she’d been so close to breaking all those months ago. 

Waiting at the gates, Niesha watched, waiting for the others, her thoughts following that troubled train. Maybe it was like that story… the little train that could. She could be a train. Slow and steady, right? 

Or was that the tortoise and the hare? 

She shook her head, positive thoughts, not these twisting, distracting thoughts that she recognised as simple rambling. [i]I think I can[/i]. That was it. That’s what the little engine that could had said constantly. I think I can. I think I can. I think i can. Was that just a… story to tell kids to never give up, to keep on trying? Or was it the power of positive thinking, of wishful thinking? I think I can… i think I will come back… no. 

I know we will come back. That was a lot more definite. She sighed softly, looking ahead for the others, shifting  a little uneasily. At least she felt better. Like everything, it seemed that once she’d made her mind up, cemented it into her actions, then she just wanted to get going, get it done. At least none of them had seen the mini meltdown. That was something, at least. 

She sighed, and waited.