Here's my revised version of Ingar's character sheet according to the critiques. Hopefully everything, or most of it, is in order now. [hider=Critique Notes]*The name sounds more Nordic than Breton, Breton names tend to be Anglo or French sounding since High Rock is influenced by those cultures *Minor note, Solstheim is isn’t actually a part of Skyrim, it’s technically a part of Morrowind. It has no associations with the College of Winterhold. If Ingar wanted to go there specifically for Stalhrim, that’s one thing, but High Rock probably has much more adequate magical institutions than the College, although the College is known to be a lot more lenient on rules. * It would be nice to know some information about this family and associates, there’s not a lot to go off of other than he went to places to study and learn skills. It would be interesting to know how he gets along with people, what kind of friends he makes, if he grew due to the influence of others, etc. *There’s a lot of solid foundation to the sheet, although there isn’t a lot of challenges he’s faced, which aren’t a bad thing (it’s nice to see someone who isn’t getting their start via trauma!), but there doesn’t seem to be a lot of situations where he was particularly challenged past the usual academic study and application cycle. Was there anything in the College that he attempted that backfired? Did he get caught up in mischief? What about back in High Rock? *Since High Rock was a part of the Empire during the Great War and Stormcloak rebellion, was Ingar’s family affected? What were his opinions on world events? Did they help him decide what to do, or did he just see it all as problems that were a world away? What made him decide to leave the College for the expedition? Money, archaeological interest, finding artifacts for the College?[/hider] [hider=Ingar] [h2][b]Ingwant “Ingar” Brolna[/b][/h2] [b]Race:[/b] Breton [b]Sex:[/b] Male [b]Age:[/b] 25 [b]Family Origins:[/b] Jehanna, High Rock [b]Birthsign:[/b] The Warrior [h3][b]Appearance[/b][/h3] [img]https://i.imgur.com/fxJA9zv.jpg[/img] [indent] Ingar is short (5'4 ft/163 cm) with moderately long, brushed back dark hair. His facial features are mostly plain, neither being handsome nor ugly, sporting a stubby but well maintained beard. His most striking feature would be his slightly crooked nose, as it was broken and healed multiple times. His physique is sturdy, with broad shoulders and thick arms usually hidden beneath his set of heavy Orcish armor. Despite his heavily armored appearance though, he wears no weapons.[/indent] [h3][b]Equipment:[/b][/h3] [list] [*] Set of Orcish Plate Armor (without the helm) [*] Thick Woolen Cloak [*] Leather Boots (pair) [*] Wool Tunic [*] Trousers [*] Leather Belt [/list] [h3][b]Misc. Possessions:[/b][/h3] [list] [*] A backpack made from leather [*] Some books on the study of Alteration [*] A set of blacksmith’s tools [*] A collection of curiously shaped and colored stones [/list] [h3][b]Family and Assosiactions[/b][/h3] [b][Father][/b] [indent][i]Occientric Brolna[/i] influenced Ingar quite a bit, as his father's opinion and respect is incredibly important to him. While Occientric was disappointed that his son would not carry on the family tradition, through the years he has come to terms with Ingar's unrelenting passion, and now supports him in his decision. Although Ingar seems to have been adamant, he was actually very insecure about his chosen path until his father gave in.[/indent] [b][Mother][/b] [indent][i]Auraele Brolna[/i] never took to it the way Ingar’s father has, and she will speak of her disapproval every chance she gets to Ingar. This isn't out of malice though, as she just genuinely believes the whole idea to be absurd, and wishes for her son to do something that is actually productive. Ingar deeply cares for both of his parents, and he wishes to prove to her that what he is doing is valuable.[/indent] [b][Uncle][/b] [indent][i]Gilbard Brolna[/i] didn't have to inherit the family tradition, as his older brother and Ingar's father already received the forge, so instead he opted to delve into the nature of magic and the study of the arcane. Not studying any specific Spellschools, instead focusing on the intricacies of how magic works, and why. He was Ingar's gateway into the world of the arcane, and has managed to get Ingar to study under skilled tutors through his connections.[/indent] [b][Mentor and Associate][/b] [indent][i]Lurbkil Khagar[/i] is an Orsimer teacher at the College of Winterhold, specializing in the field of Alteration. He immediately saw the potential in Ingar's path of research and has helped mentor him as best he could. Lurbkil is the other significant influence in Ingar's life, and has nothing but gratitude towards his mentor. He stuck by him even while others scoffed or thought the idea to be a dead-end, thus not worth exploring. Lurbkil often served as an emotional bastion for Ingar, never openly consoling, but always with an open ear to his troubles and with an offer of sound advice.[/indent] [b][Friend and Rival][/b] [indent][i]Andaer Far-Hewer[/i] was a fellow student at the College of Winterhold, and proved to be a valuable friend. Being the converse to Ingar, he is tall where Ingar is short, and he is frail and skinny where Ingar is muscular. Specializing in Enchanting, the Spellschool Ingar initially craved to learn, his goals were similar enough to be able to sympathize and the two could find common ground. Their friendship came with a healthy sense of competition, as both tried to outdo the other in terms of results. The contest is still undecided to this day.[/indent] [h3][b]Favored Skills:[/b][/h3] [color=gold][b]Highly Proficient:[/b][/color] [b][Alteration][/b] [indent] Ingar’s fascination with armors made him delve into magical research in order to further enhance their qualities, without being enchanted. He came to the conclusion that the armor is actually most effective when not passively enchanted, but when the wearer applies the enchantment when needed.[/indent] [b][Heavy Armor][/b] [indent] Wearing heavy armor every chance he gets, the heavy weight of armors comes as a welcome presence instead of a burden to him, wearing it like a second skin. Because of this, he is able to move in the armor almost as if he had worn none, although the usual limitations of jointed plate doesn’t allow for dexterous movements, so he won’t be doing any backflips.[/indent] [color=lightgreen][b]Somewhat Proficient:[/b][/color] [b][Destruction][/b] [indent] Learned at a younger age when he was still unclear to the path Ingar wanted to take, it was slightly neglected in his studies, as he mostly focused on Alteration afterwards. Still, that doesn’t mean he hasn’t practiced with the spell he learned, simply that he has no real desire to learn more complex spells from this Spellschool.[/indent] [b][Illusion][/b] [indent] Ingar mainly scratched the surface of this Illusion magic for one reason, and that was to see if he could negate the heavy clunking that is associated with the sound that the jointed plates make when scraping and colliding against each other during movement. Although Ingar has no plans to learn anything more, he still feels it is a good tool in his spell arsenal.[/indent] [b][Restoration][/b] [indent] When Ingar started looking at Restoration magic, his mother Auraele was overjoyed that her son finally started learning something useful. She had high hopes for him to become a healer, but was quickly disappointed when Ingar opted to only learn a defensive spell. Later on she’d insist that she knew this was going to happen all along.[/indent] [b][Blacksmithing][/b] [indent] Coming from a family of blacksmiths, it is not surprising that Ingar has some knowledge about working at a forge, but as he later went to pursue a different goal in life, his knowledge is rather limited. He has kept up the practices he had learnt during this time however, as he is perfectly capable of caring for his armor, as long as it’s not a major problem that needs the attention of a practiced blacksmith.[/indent] [b][Athletics][/b] [indent] Though not making an effort for it, Ingar is still athletic, able to easily keep up with others in his armor, not hindering his horizontal traversal at all. The nature of armors makes his movements practical and almost mechanical, but not inconveniencing him further than that.[/indent] [h3][b]Spell List:[/b][/h3] [i][b][Alteration][/b][/i] [list] [*] [color=lightblue]Encumber[/color] (Weight of the World) - Able to change the weight of things to weigh much more than in their normal states, Ingar’s mastery and clever use of this spell is truly inspiring. [*] [color=lightblue]Lighten[/color] (Pack Mule) - Much like its counterpart, it allows to change the weight of things, further lightening their loads. Ingar uses these two weight altering spells effectively both in and out of combat. [*] [color=lightblue]Ebonyflesh[/color] - Over the years, through his obsession about making armors stronger than naturally possible, he has been able to expand this spell’s influence over the protective equipment he wears. [*] [color=lightblue]Ash Rune[/color] - His current main area of research, he is attempting to limit the rune’s area in such a way that it only encases his armor, further providing protection. As such, he has not yet been able to do it, but he is confident he will find a way, however long it takes. He is still able to cast it to immobilize his opponents, if the need arises. [/list] [i][b][Destruction][/b][/i] [list] [*] [color=lightblue]Ice Spike[/color] - Although it’s somewhat of a black sheep in terms of spells he has learned, which are all focused on armor, Ingar is glad to have learned it, since it provides him with some form of offensive capability, that he mainly used for testing armor durability thus far. Still, in theory it would work just as well on an opponent. [/list] [i][b][Illusion][/b][/i] [list] [*] [color=lightblue]Muffle[/color] - Mainly learned to try and offset the noise armors make while moving around, it was a side-project in his earlier years that can prove useful in certain situations. Mostly when trying to walk through a corridor in the College at night without waking everyone in the vicinity. [/list] [i][b][Restoration][/b][/i] [list] [*] [color=lightblue]Steadfast Ward[/color] - A spell that Ingar picked up in order to apply a further layer of protection over himself and his armor. It’s useful in blocking incoming spells, negating them completely or lessening their effect considerably, while still providing ample physical protection. Its only downsides are that it is a spell for which he needs to concentrate in order to keep it up, and that it is in the Spellschool of Restoration, which he has next to no interest in. Still, it is a very useful spell that he has kept practicing with, and reached a fair proficiency level with it. [/list] [h3][b]History:[/b][/h3] [indent] Ingwant was born in Jehanna, High Rock, into a family of blacksmiths in 4E183. It was apparent at a young age that he carried the magical prowess that the Bretons are known for, that became coupled with a passionate interest in armors. He had seen his father, Occientric, put the armors he’d made under testing, and as he watched, he always imagined himself wearing them. He wondered what it would feel like to bear the weight, to know that something lethal had hit him but he was still alive due to the quality of the craftsmanship, but above all else, he imagined the envy and admiration that everyone looked at him with while he was striding confidently along, his armor on full display. [/indent] [indent] As he grew older, his fascination with armors did not dampen, but it changed to a new direction. He wanted to know how good the best armor actually was. He very nearly pestered anyone he thought would be somewhat knowledgeable about these matters, his father bearing the brunt of it. Eventually he learned that even the best armor could only go so far in its raw form, and to truly excel, they needed to be powerfully enchanted first. Thus, his curiosity turned him toward the study of the arcane.[/indent] [indent]The one who helped him along in his newly found passion for magic was his uncle Gilbard, who was a well established arcane researcher by the time Ingwant had taken interest. Well connected to others in the field, Gilbard managed to secure tutors for the young boy that would help teach and guide his passion along. As such, his younger years were spent learning about the different Spellschools and the ways to cast magic. He’d occasionally help out at his father’s forge, as it was still their family business.[/indent] [indent]As the years went by, Ingwant had spent his time studying under the supervision of tutors, his passion driving him forward as he absorbed all he could. After the concepts of magic and the theories behind them were under his belt, he finally moved on to try his hand at the practical aspect of casting. He started out with trying to Enchant, but his very first attempts resulted in failures. The tutors that Ingwant had at the time had been all very encouraging, as it is natural to fail and fail a lot early on, but as time had passed and nothing but frustration and failed attempts were happening, his tutors decided that Ingwant had no talent. This didn’t stop him though, as he kept trying and trying, often crying himself to sleep during this time, out of frustration and fear; fear of his efforts going to waste, and having a dream that will forever be out of his reach.[/indent] [indent] This was a time of mean streaks and rebelliousness for Ingwant. He’d constantly be in a bad, brooding mood, and he cycled through countless tutors. Some gave up trying to convince him that he had no talent and decided to take their teachings elsewhere, some he blamed for his own failures, lashing out in anger and desperation. Eventually, his father and mother invited Gilbard to visit them, and that night they spent long hours discussing the matter.[/indent] [indent]The next day, Gilbard had a long talk with Ingwant in the presence of Occientric, about the nature of magic and how it is only a tool whose uses range from the creativity and mastery of the individual. His father saw how distressed and lost Ingar was, and told him that he was sure his son would find a way, magic and everything be damned. While they were just comforting words meant to encourage, to Ingwant who greatly loved and respected his father they were exactly what he needed to hear to get out of his self-destructive behavior. Coupled with what his uncle Gilbard had said, eventually he decided to take a different but similar approach, based on his previous studies of theory. He’d make the armors stronger not passively, but by actively maintaining the enchantment on them. As such, he learned the theories and ways to cast spells from the schools of Alteration, Illusion, Destruction and Restoration, but his focus was mostly on Alteration. [/indent] [indent] As he grew older, Ingwant started to form his own opinions about politics and the goings-on in the world. This was especially true about the Stormcloak rebellion. His rebellious side identified with the Stormcloaks, even while his family supported the Imperials, and although they had many heated debates on the subject, it was always on the philosophical side, so it never escalated into petty grudges and torn family ties. It was merely a debate about the problems of a world that did not affect them beyond the rising of prices and the flow of refugees. As such, while he sympathized with the Stormcloaks, he never felt the urge to actively support them in any way.[/indent] [indent]What Ingwant took away from all this though, was an interest in Skyrim and its Nordic culture. He was fascinated by the people and the land, and he even took on the nickname of Ingar, much to the chagrin of his mother Auraele. His father just laughed and said there was nothing wrong with it, as long as he kept his true name unsullied. Thus, Ingwant introduces himself by his given name, but lets others know how he wishes to be called, yet takes no offense if this particular wish is not granted. Going forward, he decided to try and apply for entrance at the College of Winterhold in Skyrim. It was a natural conclusion for him as he was already fascinated by the land and its people, and his nature resonated with the more lenient atmosphere of the College, as opposed to other magical institutions.[/indent] [indent]He finally took the journey to the College eight years ago, where he had been readily admitted as a student due to his driven personality to learn more and apply it to his field of study, as well as his mastery over Alteration magic. From here on, any coin he made would go into his passion, buying and maintaining various armors and attempting to actively modify them. He utilized testing methods similar to that of his father, except he was now actually wearing the armors as they were put under these tests.[/indent] [indent]Not everything went smoothly though. While he found a mentor and role model in Lurbkil Khagar, an Orsimer specialized in Alteration magic, most of the others were skeptical in Ingar’s field of research. They did not say so openly, but whispers and chuckles behind his back were enough indications, as well as half-smirks plastered over their faces when he was discussing the matter with any of them. This was not due to disrespect though, although there were such attitudes to be found as well, but mostly due to their innate belief that what Ingar was attempting was better and more efficiently done with the school of Enchanting.[/indent] [indent]One such person was Andaer, who was researching much the same, but through Enchanting. He and Ingar had often found themselves in heated debates and butting heads over results and the best applications of magic, but their joint interest in the subject has formed between them a bond of friendship, forged in rivalry and common goals. They’d often help each other out, if asked first, with each others’ research, and exchange ideas and possible best applications for enchantments.[/indent] [indent]It was Andaer who helped Ingar with one of his crazier experiments, that attempted to expand the influence of the Ebonyflesh spell beyond the caster’s skin, and extend it to the caster’s armor as well. They theorized that if the caster was proficient enough, and had a strong image on what they wanted, the spell could be layered over the armor just as much as if it was upon the caster itself. The first few attempts resulted in failures, and there even was a particularly nasty incident where, under the influence of the Alteration spell, the armor began to fuse with Ingar’s skin. Thankfully the effect was halted before it could do serious harm, but even so, there was a need to medically remove the fused skin, which left scars all across his torso.[/indent] [indent]This seemed to confirm what everyone thought of Ingar’s whole research, and they voiced their concerns aloud, mostly to ensure Ingar’s safety, but also to show that what they were thinking was right. This was one of the rougher times for him, as he not only found himself at a breaking point that he knew not whether it was possible, only that it was dangerous, but the not-outright-mockery of his colleagues and the failures weighed heavily on his mind, due to which he spent countless sleepless nights. He found solace in his mentor’s support, who told him that all things worth achieving were not so easily obtained, along with the memory of his father’s encouragement, what seemed like a lifetime ago.[/indent] [indent] Ingar constantly exchanged letters with his family, assuring his mother of his well-being, -- and omitting his dangerous skin-fusing experiment -- writing passionately about his daily life and research, and the headway he was making. In return he’d read what his father would have to say about the affairs back at home, as well as the political situation in Jehanna. They continued their debates on worldly matters, but this time they seemed to settle on a common ground, as his family also supported Frithjolf Broken-Shield, possibly due to their son’s influence.[/indent] [indent]Eventually his research and perseverance proved fruitful, as he was now able to extend the protective nature of the Ebonyflesh spell onto his armor, but he needed to master altering the weight of objects first. Whether increasing their weight or lightening their burdens, the concept of changing the objects’ properties through visualization and calculation could be applied to his research of the Ebonyflesh spell. The insights he’s gained from this helped greatly with fusing the armor with the protective magic, yet keeping his skin and metal separate through the identification of their relative substances, thus ensuring that neither tipped the balance and grew over the other. His achievement earned some recognition at the College, and while it wasn’t nearly as praised as Ingar thought it should be, he was no longer viewed as an eccentric who dreamed too big.[/indent] [indent] Through doing various work utilizing his control over altering weights, and possibly snipping off smaller amounts from his research funds provided by the College, he eventually saved up enough coin to buy a custom fitted set of Orcish Plate armor. He managed to get a better pricing due to not wanting a helm, something he never wore even during tests, the habit being the main culprit for his often broken nose. Although it requires little upkeep, it is his most prized possession, and keeps it well maintained through the skills he had learned while he helped out in his father’s forge.[/indent] [indent] Wearing armor since his younger years, then altering their mass and other properties for his research, has made Ingar physically strong and fit, as even the most menial task such as making tea was made harder by the weight bearing down on him. The constant pressure he was putting himself under from a younger age may have impeded his growth however, as he is below average in height compared to the rest of his race.[/indent] [h3][b]Personality:[/b][/h3] [indent] Ingar is driven, and very self-confident, but not arrogant. He knows his capabilities and his limits, and acts accordingly to them and to the situation at hand. His sometimes unorthodox ways can be offputting, but he is warm and kind to those he considers close, and will show loyalty and respect to those who offer the same to him. That said, he can be petty at times, and doesn’t take insults to his ways kindly, but never in a violent way. While he is not awkward in social situations, he is neither charismatic, and is happy to let others take the lead in most cases, with the exception being when he believes he is better suited to the task at hand.[/indent] [indent] His main reasons for wearing armor and altering their properties is out of fascination and curiosity, and not for battle. As such, while he can take blows, and is probably very good at it, he is not as good at dealing them. He prefers to take a more strategic approach to fighting, often supporting and protecting the people around him or disrupting the enemy at hand, and very rarely does he actually attempt to impale something with a spike of ice.[/indent] [h3][b]Motivation for the Expedition[/b][/h3] [indent] By the time the opportunity came up to be part of an expedition to some dwemer ruins, Ingar viewed himself as a fully-fledged member of the College, putting his interests and the interests of the College above all else. Because of that, he decided that he’d keep a lookout for any valuable artifacts that could be studied or sold, both for the betterment of the College and for his personal funds.[/indent] [h3][b]Hopes for the Expedition[/b][/h3] [list] [*] Finding artifacts of value [*] Finding dwemer metal ingots [*] Gaining some experience outside the controlled environment that is the College [*] Meeting with other practitioners of the arcane, and exchanging ideas [*] An adventure worth remembering [/list] [/hider] Reason for Edit: Forgot to [s]underline[/s] change the spells' color for visual clarity.