[@ArenaSnow]

I don't think having a discussion about it in a thread specifically about this topic really counts as "harping on players". You make it sound like you disagree with the existence of this thread. Some people just haven't really thought about it before and once they have a chance to actually consider the issue they find that their minds are changed.

But you're correct. Some people are sexist and they will not change, as evidenced by certain people on this thread. But talking about it isn't just about them. It gives others a chance to consider the issue and recognize how problematic those people can be. It exposes the flawed logic of making those kinds of rules and helps people stay away from these bad RPers. 

In many cases, people who post "looking for female players" or whatever are just guys who are new to RP and maybe assume that everyone tends to only play a character that matches their own gender. But a quick "hey, do you actually care if your partner is a chick or are you just looking for a female character?" query is enough for them to change the wording of their interest check.

I don't think doing that is being "part of the problem". It's not like I'm going to waste my time contacting people who continue doing this even when they've been called out. And if all I've done today is help one person look a little more shrewdly at a user on this site who only wants to talk to them over Skype to find out what style genitals they have then I'd consider that a job well done.