[quote=@vietmyke] Alrighty. Time for some feedback. Firstly, to everyone. When you're filling out the character sheets, when you put down an image, you can delete the word 'appearance'. Bothers me a bit. Dunno why, call me crazy. Also keep in mind that any and all criticism is entirely professional. That doesn't mean I'm a professional critic, but rather don't take anything I say as a personal insult, I know people can get pretty attached to their work and some people get pretty defensive, but just know that I'm not criticizing your character sheets because I don't like you. With that out of the way, let us begin with the feedback. Individual feedback will be hidden in your own little hider. [@Sisyphus][hider=the things]Not a critique but a note, I changed the 'minimum' age to an age range of 20-22, about the age people are when they graduate from college- or in this case military academies. Peppy, energetic, arrogant. Great traits for the FNG. The secret anxiety are good counterweights to her personality. Alrighty, so Dublin- most developed places in the world today, are much more developed by the time of this RP. Refugees are less likely to be welcome on Earth as they are say Luna, Ganymede or one of the other Jovian moons, or perhaps Mars. In fact, most of the Jovian moons are going through refugee crises atm. Earth is the center of power for the UEE, and while some refugees make their way there, very few do without notable credentials. Mars is fairly similar, but more welcoming to potential laborers as Mars location of the some of the largest shipyards in the Sol System. Also, in previous iterations of this RP, the 101st were special forces. In this iteration, they are not. They're just the pilots that fly MAS instead of strike craft. Likewise, the 12 squad is not a unit of entirely veterans- she wouldn't be the only rookie to join the 12th, nor does she half to be top of her class, though she very well can be if you really want. A good question would be how a near starving slummer with multiple jobs found the time to study for an aptitude test to become a MAS pilot, especially as MAS pilots are officers, not enlisted men. Perhaps she did well enough in school to get into the very bottom of the barrel spot of a military academy, and from there did well enough to be selected for MAS training. [hr] In Conclusion: Fairly good concept. Good personality and character, only real issue is how she got there. [/hider] [/quote] That's all understandable - I realized halfway through writing that that I didn't really know how presitgious being a MAS pilot actually was, and I think that shows. I'll type up the edits tomorrow - probably make her grow up on Ganymede and have her military career stem from performing well in a more conventional academy.