Sam thought the officer's confirmation that the monster who had killed Brooklyn was going to be caught was insincere.  He guessed if there was a chance the person who did this was going to get caught they'd have already picked them up by now.  In a small town the resources available were slight and Christmas brought about enough low level criminality and drunkenness he doubted Brooklyn's killer would be found.  Not that Sam had any police experience to go off - he just felt that it was all so hopeless.  It was just him and Louis now.  However it was Autumn who, suffering as she was let a glimmer of hope enter the room.

Brooklyn's mother spoke in platitudes, clearly trying to make Sam and Patty feel better about themselves, talking about what a good Grandmother Patty was and how Brooklyn said....

It was at that specific moment he felt like the curtains had been opened and the dark, cold room let in the morning sunlight on a fresh winter's day.  It was like he could see for the first time since Brooklyn left the house.  Because it was true.  What Autumn and Rick were saying weren't 'nice things to make things better' they were all true.  Brooklyn loved Patty, loved Louis and loved Sam.  Sam closed his eyes for a second and thought, [I]'you always loved me and I always loved you'[/I].  He opened his eyes and noticed the signs of Brooklyn all around, the photos, the books, the furnishings she'd chosen.  Sam felt, that right now Brooklyn was with them in the room and that she always would be.

He smiled weakly at Mr. and Mrs. Jones, they were trying to help and deal with their pain at the same time but he appreciated them all the more.

"Pass Louie to me Rick," he said reaching out for the boy.

"I want him to hear this story."

As he sat Louis on his knee and settled him Sam thought of all the stories he would tell him about Mom.  He thought that he definitely needed to write as much down as soon as possible so it would be preserved forever and Louis would always know about her.

"You know Rick, Autumn.  I aspired us to be like you two and I think Brooklyn did also.  We never talked about it but we wanted the perfect life and marriage and you were our role models.  She was lucky to have you for parents and she rarely ever said a cross word about you guys.  If I can be the father you were Rick, then I'll have done my job.  And I know it, you have treated me almost like your own son for so long and I will never forget that."

Sam glanced over at his own mother.  He didn't want her to feel any sadness about the disappearance of Dad.  It was never her fault, never.

"So, I've always felt we had big shoes to fill, but I knew we'd try.  And we did.  Brooklyn was an amazing mother, the best.  She was my best friend, my soul mate, my confidant.  She made me better.  I loved her, I mean, love her and I couldn't wait to walk down the aisle with her..."

Louis gurgled.  He had sensed that the house wasn't right.  [I]'Where is Mommy, what's Granny doing here, it's nice to see Grand Pops and Nanny'[/I]  But Daddy was smiling again and he reached out his little hand, trying to put his fingers into Daddy's mouth.

"So, what you guys don't know is that I've actually proposed to Brooklyn more than once," Sam said, letting the thought rest.  

"It was a long time ago.  In fact we were still at school," he smiled.  "We'd walked home from school one autumn afternoon.  The last vestiges of summer were hanging on and the light shone on a sunny afternoon.  The leaves were russet, turning brown and thinking about falling.  We were holding hands, walking and..."  Sam paused, looking a little disconcerted, "I thought at that moment that I wanted to die.  It wasn't a sad feeling, it was a realisation that life would never, ever get any better than what it was at that moment in time."

Sam wiped a tear from his eye, but his smile was growing, "in many ways I was totally wrong.  Life would get better - much better, but I didn't know it was possible to love another human being more than I loved Brooklyn at that moment.  I walked her home, and I'm sure you knew, but we'd always kiss goodbye just behind that tree on the corner of your street.  She didn't want you to see," Sam laughed.

Sam was thinking about those kisses.  Some times sweet, some times gentle, some times so passionate he felt he would explode.  

"That one night, I'd grabbed some chalk from my sister's.  In retrospect it would have been better if I'd have got paint but then perhaps you may not have appreciated it.  I left my home past midnight and walked over to your house.  I chalked in big letters, in bright red in the road [color=lightcoral]'MARRY ME BROOKLYN'[/color].  I walked home.  Actually, I skipped home to wait for her text - and answer in the morning."

Sam looked around the room, "It had been dry for weeks.  In the early hours of that morning there was a massive thunderstorm and when Brooklyn looked out of her window that morning she would have seen nothing more than a rainy day.  I was a little embarrassed by it, and I eventually told her.  She said, 'next time you try that Sam, make it count and maybe you'll get the answer you want'.  I knew, and she knew that I'd ask again one day."

"Now Louis, this is how you should propose if you're ever lucky enough to meet someone like Mom.  Now and again, Daddy likes to play a little guitar, and I can't sing very well but I like to do my thing.  There was an open mic night at the 'Horse' and we occasionally went together.  Now and then I'd play.  It was the day after we found out about you son, and everything happened so quick.  I talked to Gerry, the owner and got a lot of friends in that night.  What always makes me laugh is that I forgot to ask you Rick!  I was mortified I hadn't done it right and I practically raced over to yours to ask your blessing.  If you'd have said 'no', then I would have probably done it anyway!"

"That night, we'd had a few drinks and a bite to eat and Gerry got on stage and introduced me.  I whispered, 'new song' to your Mom and got up.  I had a little acoustic number which went something like,"

[center][I]"Would you still love me if I had to go away?
I promise that I'd write to you, and tell you everything that you mean to me yeah
I'd think of you every single day, because you're the one for me"

"Would you still love me when we wake up in bed?
Would you still love me when I ran out of things to say?
When we're growing old, each passing day."[/I][/center]

"And then Louis, I called out. 'Hey guys, can you help me out with this bit..."

"and I sang, [I]'Because if the answer's 'yes' then there's just one thing I want to say'[/I] and then pretty much half the bar sang along,

[I][center]"Take me to the one I love,
because I can't live on my own,
Will you marry me?  Miss Jones"[/center][/I]

"and then I slung my guitar over my back, leaped down off the stage and tried to slide on my knees.  It was meant to look slicker than it was but the intention was there.  I held out my hand and Gerry put the ring box in my hand."

"'You've got to marry me after that' I said, and she just smiled, giggling and I knew I had it in the bag.  Your Mom was going to be my wife."

Sam smiled and looked up at the ceiling, "you know guys.  We weren't legally married but I consider her my wife and I will do forever."

It was tough telling the story but it felt good to say it.  It felt good to share the good times and he loved putting the engagement ring on her finger.