[indent][u][b]October 27th, 11:48 AM
Hope Springs, West Virginia[/b][/u][/indent]

"I'm tellin' you, pa," Jim Bob gestured frantically with his hands towards the depths of the great forest of Hope Springs, the morning sun filtered through the treetops above, "I done found me a Sasquatch!"

Pa Buford grunted in irritation as the younger man's screaming sent the nearby flock of ducks scattering prematurely in the wrong direction. Squeezing off several shots with his rifle, he only managed to down a couple due to their advanced range. "Damn it, Jim Bob, look what you done now, talkin' all crazy!"

Smacking his son over the head, the patriarch of the Masterson clan spat a wad of tobacco onto the lush foliage beneath him. "Er'body knows Sasquatch are extinct!"

Covering his head instinctively at the oncoming smack, Jim Bob nevertheless managed to protest. "But pa, I's [i]seen[/i] him! He was a big green bug-lookin' motherfucker!"

"Ain't them Sasquatches supposed to be hairy?" Billy Joe interjected, using his duck call to try and lure another flock in. "Maybe you jus' seen one of them [i]Zambos[/i] that been crawlin' on up outta the ground this past while?"

Pa Buford scoffed, squeezing off several more rounds with greater success, managing to down four ducks. "Ain't no zambos here, Billy Joe. They needsa graveyard to come up! Nah, this sounds like them stories I been hearin' of that 'Vine Stalker'."

Jim Bob and Billy Joe glanced at each other for a moment, before huddling in close to Pa Buford to echo him in unison, "Vine Stalker, Pa?"

"Yup. Kelly Su claims to have spotted him 'bout a couple months back attackin' some workers! Er'body been seein' lately," Pa explained, using the butt of his rifle to push himself up from his lounger. "Wun't sure I believed em', but then I seen pictures on that internets of it!"

Jim Bob's eyes seemed to light up at this, the youngest of the Masterson clan glancing over his shoulder as if expecting the terrible creature to be there. "W-what if was that Vine Stalker, pa? What're we gonna do?!"

"We's gonna gather the rest of our clan, boy, and we gonna bag ourselves a Bug Man!" Pa grinned, showing a mouth not-so-full of crooked and yellow teeth. "If'n we does, we's'll be famous TV stars!"

Billy Joe practically leaped out of his boots. "A TV star?! They gets [i]all[/i] them pretty girls!"

"And big fancy houses and cars, too!" Jim Bob noted excitedly. "Let's do it, then, pa! Go rustle up the others, so I can show em' where he was!"