Whenever I think about my problems the first thing that comes to my mind is that I'm too far gone and that I can't help myself and that I should simply kill myself. Then the feeling dissipates as I've already made up my mind about not doing that. Then I think of my potential. I think about what I could accomplish, and what I want in life. And then I'm reminded of my circumstance and problems and inability to change and start thinking that I should kill myself. And so on until I get distracted by something else.