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[center][h3]Two days later…[/h3][/center]

[i]Fenros sighed as he entered his room and shut the door. He took his sword belt off and placed it on his chair before falling into his bed, armor and all. He didn’t care, he was too exhausted after dealing with new recruits, paperwork, planning security details for separate trips for the King, Prince Aaron, and El. As well as dealing with a few incidents with some of his men. The day wasn’t even over yet and he came back to his room to get some time alone. He closed his eyes for a moment...perhaps a quick nap would help.

Eleanor had been looking for Fenros and was told by a servant that he had been seen going towards his room. She knew he was probably taking a break but she had enough of their friendship being in rambles for much too long, and she was going to see to it that things would be fixed today. Besides, she had already informed Ritza of the plan and thus needed a guard to accompany her for her afternoon ride. So once she arrived to his room she knocked on his door and waited for him to answer.

The knock on the door jolted him from his sleep. Apparently he was really tired as he passed out almost immediately after laying down. He grunted as he rolled out of his bed and onto his knee, pushing himself up as he got leverage with his arms. [color=0054a6][b]”IF I HAVE TO KNOCK ONE MORE HEAD IN…”[/b][/color] He yelled as he opened the door, stopping suddenly as he saw Eleanor. His eyes wide for a moment before Clearing his throat. [color=0054a6][b]”Pr…”[/b][/color] He stopped himself with a quick glance behind her. [color=0054a6][b]”El… forgive me for that.”[/b][/color]


With a smile and a slight laugh Eleanor shook her head, [color=cc99ff][b]“Don’t worry about it, I assume the men have been giving you trouble?”[/b][/color] She asked, cocking her head to the side, trying to have one of their old normal conversations with him. 

Still surprised that Eleanor was standing in front of him, it had been awhile since they had spoke actually, not counting official business or trips. But here she was standing before him and with a smile on her face. Something he had not seen in awhile as well...directed towards him that is. Suddenly realizing that he was silent for a few moments...staring. He quickly scratched the back of his head and gave a slight smile of his own. [color=0054a6][b]”Uh...y-yes. For stupid reasons, but enough to cause a ruckus. I feel like being a General to these men can be like herding cats at times. Unbelievably frustrating,”[/b][/color] He said looking down at the floor for a minute. Not realizing his hair was all out of sorts from laying down.

The smile on her face ever so slightly faltered as the General began speaking and stuttered, almost feeling as if he didn’t want her there but she mentally shook the feeling away and kept the smile on her face as he spoke, laughing as he compared the men to cats. [color=cc99ff][b]“I personally feel they are more closely related to dogs than cats.”[/b][/color] Eleanor commented watching as he looked down, finally noticing his hair which caused her to let out a giggle. She tried covering up the giggle with her hand while looking at his hair but it was rare to see him with hair like that so she couldn’t help but to continue to giggle at the sight of it.

He nodded with a smile, it was a fair statement. Though they were not as obedient as a dog. However before he could say that he looked up to see her covering her mouth as she was giggling. Her comment was funny...but he didn’t think it was THAT funny. He was confused for a moment and could not help but smile at her contagious giggle. That is till he noticed her eyes looking above him. Well not above him but at his head. A few moments and he suddenly realized he had just woken from a nap, and did not bother to even quickly run his hand through his hair. 

His face suddenly turned red at the thought of how his hair looked in front of the princess. Normally, he wouldn’t care and laugh it off. But with the princess it was different. He quickly raised his right hand and ran it through his hair a few times, still red with embarrassment. He then cleared his throat no way he could pass it off, so he decided to just go with the embarrassment.[color=0054a6][b]”You caught me after a nap. Not everyone looks as radiant as you do when you wake up from one,”[/b][/color] He said with a smile, as his mind finally clicked into gear.

Eleanor’s giggle turned into a soft laugh as she watched him turn red and run his hand through his hair, fixing it. To get herself to stop she cleared her throat and bit her bottom lip while smiling. Watching him fix his hair with simply just his hand made her realize she was a bit jealous of the fact he could do such a thing and look good, even though he still looked good with the wild hair. Upon him complimenting her, El’s cheeks began to heat up and become tinged with pink. 

[color=cc99ff][b]“I beg to differ on that statement.”[/b][/color] Eleanor began, placing her hands on her hips. [color=cc99ff][b]“The amount of time I am forced to sit in the morning while they fix me up to the beauty standard of royalty is ridiculous. I do believe I have ranted to this about you many times before.”[/b][/color] She pointed out raising an eyebrow at him, questioning if he had forgotten with the look in her eyes.

Fenros only smiled more when she turned a tinge pink at his words. She then defiantly disagreed with his statement. Bringing up an old Rant, to which he nodded with her statement of going over this before. [color=0054a6][b]“Indeed you have, many times about a process which highly unnecessary for you.“[/b][/color] He said as he closed his eyes and bowed his head to her. He smiled, as his day's worries seemed to just float away while speaking to El once again, just like they used to. He caught onto this as well, and a small ache reminded him of the past few years of awkwardness between them. It felt like lost time to him. 

Looking back at her he then wondered why she was here again...being so pleasant with him. [color=0054a6][b]”Yet again El, you have brightened my day with your beauty and laugher, for which I am grateful. May I ask what I can do for you in return?”[/b][/color]

When he bowed his head she sighed, remembering why she originally came here in the first place. That small formality left a small ache in her chest, had it been five years ago before the assassination attempt he wouldn’t bother with such a thing when no one else was around. Sure he was using her old nickname but she could still feel that he was withdrawn, that there was an awkwardness between them that she didn’t care for. 

Just like before his compliment once again warmed her cheeks and she wasn’t sure why she was blushing so easily. It didn’t matter though, she had a task she needed to focus on. [color=cc99ff][b]“Actually there is something I need right now. I need you to come with me on my afternoon ride. I already had the stable hands ready your horse and mine, it’s best we don’t leave them waiting much longer.”[/b][/color] Eleanor turned and left towards the stables, leaving no room for argument. 

Fenros raised his eyebrows when she told him that she needed him to come with her on her ride. He blinked a few times. Wondering what happened to Ritza, as she normally rode with her of course. But before he could ask, she turned and promptly left clearly for the stables. [color=0054a6][b]”But…”[/b][/color] he started, realizing it was foolish to try and speak to her when she was walking away. He quickly reached over and grabbed his sword and belt and tied it on as he jogged after the princess. His armor clanking and chainmail shifting as he did. He then came up behind her and to her right, Memories flooded his thoughts when he got into such a familiar position. 

Oh he longed for the more simple days when he spent them with the princess. He looked to her as he asked, [color=0054a6][b]”Of course I would be honored to join you on your ride, but may I ask what for? It has been so long since we rode together.”[/b][/color]

Hearing him run up behind her and settle into walking besides her gave her a feeling of nostalgia, so many times they had been in this exact position before…. Oh how she missed it. [color=cc99ff][b]“Well that is part of the reason, but you can know more later.”[/b][/color] Eleanor informed him.

[center]~~~~~~~Time Skip~~~~~~~[/center]

Pulling the horse to a halt she slid off her horse and led it to a place where she tied it up so it couldn’t run off but could still feed on the grass near by. Eleanor had brought them out to the old clearing the two of them used to train Eleanor in archery. She thought it would be a good place to bring up the conversation she was going to be bringing up. While waiting for Fenros to get off his horse she strolled up to the tree that used to hold the target and traced one of the holes in it from an arrow, memories running through her head of the old times, when things were easier between them two.

Fenros admittedly was worried as they rode, being silent most of the way. The way she avoided his questions, he knew it was not a ride just for old times sake. When they came to the old clearing He couldn’t help but smile a little bit. He had too many fond memories here with her. Even though they haven’t been here together in many years… he found himself here many times himself to think. 

He quickly tried to get off his horse to help her off, but she was already down. He frowned slightly, then realized things definitely changed when Ritza took over as her guard. He hesitated for a moment before dropping down and allowing his horse to wander off. Never did he worry about the horse, as he was well trained. Making his way over behind the princess as she traced old holes from her arrows he then said softly. [color=0054a6]”Something tells me you didn’t want to come train today...unless…”[/color] He glanced around the tree to make sure she didn’t have a bow hidden. [color=0054a6]”I’m the target?”[/color]

Eleanor shook her head with a soft forced smile, [color=cc99ff][b]“No, no you aren’t the target…” [/b][/color]She sighed and looked at her hands as she picked at the pattern on her dress. [color=cc99ff][b]“I brought you out here because I want to fix our friendship. I don’t know what I did five years ago that upset you and made our friendship start to just fall apart but I can’t take it anymore Fen! I miss the old us, it hurts every time you are formal with me. Until today you always just acted like the General around me, not Fenros. What is wrong? Please tell me.”[/b][/color] She looked up at him with a pained expression, her eyes begging for an answer.

Fenros lowered his head. For a split second he was relieved, happy and excited for this. The next he was pained, hesitant and once again worried. He opened his mouth to speak. His eyes connecting with hers and his voice got stuck where it was. After a moment he sighed and turned away, unable to look at her with that pained expression on her face. The fact that he knew it was his fault for her pain. He didn’t want to tell her, he felt childish and selfish for even thinking this all these years now. 

He looked to her and remembered his own pain as well though. He turned back to her and said. [color=0054a6][b]“El… I never wanted this. I never wanted for our friendship to end up like this, but I couldn't help it. Five years ago when Ritza became your new bodyguard… you seemed more than thrilled to have her, and to get away from me. I tried to make it so we could spend time together in SOME way. But you clearly were happy just with her.”[/b][/color] He was shocked at what he said, he wasn’t expecting himself to say it like that or at all. But it was out now. At least part of it. 

Her eyes widened in shock, she could not believe what he was saying… that he was bringing Ritza into it nonetheless. [color=cc99ff][b]“Do NOT bring Ritza into this. This is between us and has nothing to do with her!”[/b][/color] Eleanor exclaimed glaring at him.

[color=0054a6][b]”It has everything to do with her! That is when it all started!”[/b][/color]He quickly shot back waving his arm to the side. His irritation flaring up. [color=0054a6][b]”How does it not?!”[/b][/color]

[color=cc99ff][b]“Because it doesn’t! Other people shouldn't matter when it comes to OUR FRIENDSHIP! You don’t think I missed having you as my bodyguard! Cause I did, but Ritza is also my friend and if I had to have anyone else guard me… I am glad it was her.” Eleanor began pacing angrily, “Also if either of us tried to make it so we could spend time together, it was me! You always tried to spend as little time around me as possible! Maybe this friendship isn’t worth saving since I was the only one who ever tried for the past five years.” [/b][/color]

Fenros narrowed his eyes, [color=0054a6][b]”I tried El. But there were many times I would only get the cold shoulder from you! Then I finally got it and stopped trying so hard. It would never be as it was, not with my new responsibilities. Not with your father watching me so closely. When I get the opportunities to be near you, things happen, and I turned into the bad guy because I got worried about you.” [/b][/color]He stopped himself and cursed silently while turning away from her. He didn’t feel like he was being clear enough.

Crossing her arms, she rolled her eyes at him. [color=cc99ff][b]“Yeah it’s my fault…”[/b][/color] She sarcastically commented while he spoke. After he finished she scoffed,[color=cc99ff][b] “The father excuse! How original! The Fenros I used to know would never let his job or my father stop him from being my friend, when has it ever done so before! I guess I don’t know you anymore, no matter how much it hurts..”[/b][/color]

Cutting her off. [color=0054a6][b]”Think about it El? If I did such a good job protecting you that day… why...why!? Would he put me in charge of the Vanguard a month later? There are far more talented men than me! Hell we are speaking about your father… who locked away your own mother! What would he do to you if he found out you were so friendly with me? Execute me, I don’t care, I was worried about you. I’m not sorry about that.” [/b][/color]He said walking closer to her. 

[color=cc99ff][b]“DON’T BRING MY MOTHER INTO THIS!”[/b][/color] Eleanor shouted before taking a deep breath, her mother was a sore topic for her. [color=cc99ff][b]“Why the hell would you worry about me? You think I care about my father’s opinions. He is insane, all the lords are insane… Who I care about are you, Ritza, the people. But right now I am focusing on you! Fen, I just want my friend back!”[/b][/color] El ran her hands through her hair messing up the fancy braid in it, but not caring at all. She was stressed, angry, and so many other emotions at once. All the emotions caused her to start pacing again, it was her habit when she became stressed or angry.

Fenros sighed. He knew in his heart not to talk about her mother. No one even knew the reason why she was even locked away in the first place. His shoulders dropped though as she continued. [color=0054a6][b]“Well I’m sorry for caring so much for what your [i]insane[/i] father could do to you!”[/b][/color] he threw up his hands and began walking away. He stopped, debating if he should even say anything. Her father was part of it of course, but her saying she just wanted her [i]FRIEND[/i] back felt like a hot dagger cutting into his heart. 

Suddenly turning around and walking up to her again. [color=0054a6][b]” I’m sorry! But we can’t just be friends anymore El. You wanna know why I stopped trying to be around you? Do you really want to know?”[/b][/color] He said as he stopped a foot away from her.

[color=cc99ff][b]“Why!? Is it because of Ritza? Because I’m related to insane people? Please do tell me why?!”[/b][/color] Eleanor exclaimed stopping in front of him glaring at him.

[color=0054a6][b]“Because it HURTS! I am physically and mentally in pain when I’m around you. I felt this pain for the first time we were here! When we were almost caught when you almost hit Lord Grier. I’ve felt this pain every day since. From the time I wake up, till I go to sleep.”[/b][/color] He stopped himself. He knew he shouldn’t say it. It would only make things worse. There was no way she would ever feel the same way… he was JUST a friend. 

Blinking in shock Eleanor didn’t know how to respond or how to feel. She knew what he was getting at and it had her confused in so many ways. Of course she had thought about them like [i]that[/i] a few times but she immediately stopped thinking about that, knowing she would never get any relationship outside of an arranged marriage. Plus when she thought of it, she became confused by how she felt towards him and now those feelings were intensified. She opened her mouth a few times trying to form words but she couldn’t think of anything to say, instead just standing there in shock.

Fenros took a breath and lowered his eyes. He after a moment he looked back at her and saw the shock on her face, he just felt even more pain shoot through him. The thought of it was so shocking to her of course she wouldn’t have expected him to think that about them. He was just a lowly Lord… and glorified bodyguard now.

He shook his head [color=0054a6][b]” I know… because of our positions, any notion of being more than was quickly dismissed, you are the princess, I just a lowly guard. So I said nothing. I forced myself to ignore those feelings. I tried to move on, but I can’t fool myself any longer. “[/b][/color] he looked at her for another moment, her shock still present. Which only made him feel worse. He didn’t know what else to say, or know how she would react. He hoped… this didn’t ruin everything. 

It took some time but eventually her shock passed and she was able to finally put words together, [color=cc99ff][b]“Fen…”[/b][/color] Eleanor looked at him, worry and a mix of sorrow on her face. [color=cc99ff][b]“I-I never knew and I wish I could say something back that would make you feel better, make the pain go away but I can’t. I don’t know how I feel. I’m confused by my feelings towards you now more than ever so I have no way to respond.”[/b][/color]

She looked down, no longer able to look at him, and let out a breath, tears forming in her eyes. [color=cc99ff][b]“I will understand if you wish to not be friends with me anymore, I do not want to cause you pain… that is the last thing I would ever want to do to you. You mean to much to me Fenros. If it would be better for you to no longer see or talk to each other except for business reasons then we should do that, but just know… I will always see you as a friend. [i]Dependent on what I learn after deciphering my feelings, maybe even more.[/i]”[/b][/color] Eleanor whispered the last part to herself because deep inside she knew it was true, but all her emotions were much too confusing for her right now to really see it.

There it was, just like he expected. He did not dare look back at her, he was feeling different emotions himself. He was angry, heart broken, full of guilt. It didn’t help when he could tell even without looking she was getting teary eyed. Which only caused him more pain. He was hurting her because of his selfishness… He glanced at her but immediately closed his eyes as his heart wrenched again. 

He’d rather die a thousand deaths than know he hurt her...and continuing to hurt her by saying he did not want to more time with her if it were like this. Honestly it sounded horrible...he loved her, she knew it now...and yet still just wanted to be friends. Act like everything was normal. Every girl seemed to think that would work...it just didn’t. But he couldn’t see her cry anymore...He would willingly put himself through hell to stop it.

Sighing he said,[color=0054a6][b]“I’m sorry… for bringing it up. I’m sorry for ruining our friendship these past five years… I don’t want to hurt you anymore either. Honestly I think even avoiding you even more would only make it worse…I just want to see you smile, as long as you’re happy...I'll be happy.”[/b][/color] He said wanting this conversation to be over...to forget about it as best they can. 

Eleanor did the only thing she could think to do at the time, she latched her arms around his waist and buried her face into his chest as tears poured down her face. The pain of five years mixed with the emotions of the conversation had come to a peak, she just wanted to move on for now. So she hugged Fenros tighter, despite how hard it was to do with his armor on.

Fenros froze at her hug. His eyes wide as he looked down at her with her head against his chest. He tried to remember the last time he held the princess like this… definitely not in the last five years. Conflicting emotions rose yet again for him as he slowly wrapped his own arms around her. He was felt it was like a slap in the face to him...yet at the same time he was grateful for it. He held her tightly to him, but not too much. He did still have his armor on. He closed his eyes and and lowered his head, his cheek resting on her temple lightly. He didn’t know what to say right now…. he didn’t want this moment to end.

Minutes passed as Eleanor refused to let go, they hadn’t ever had a fight as bad as that one had just been. But the hug… it was helping to push that all to the back of her mind and remember all the good times the two had once shared. She also was reminded of when she almost lost him, this fighting causing her to come close to losing him again. El couldn’t imagine life without him, she honestly didn’t believe she could fully function without knowing she could see Fen. That’s how much he meant to her, now she just needed to fully figure out what that truly meant.
[/i]

[hr]
Eleanor sat up on her bed and placed a hand on her chest. Her heart was beating fast as bits of the memory replayed in her head. It had only been days prior that the two of them had that argument... that lead to his confession. Now? Now Fenros was locked in the dungeons considered a traitor! The one thing she knows he could never be. But that didn't matter, in days he would be executed and she'd have to learn to live life without him. 

Life without Fenros? The princess didn't even know what that was anymore, even in these past five years he was a constant in her life. Even trying to imagine living without the possibility of hearing his voice, his laugh; of seeing him training or talking to the other men of the vanguard or even flirting with the ladies of the court... imagining that life hurt El too much. Caused her too much pain. If only she had figured them out sooner, she could have told him. They could have run. But now it was too late. Fenros was going to be executed without knowing. Without knowing that...

She loved him.