What fools you are, 
My name is Dagoth Ur, and I'm a god. All of you are skinny, grey-skinned chain-smokers who spend every second of their day being racist xenophobes. You are everything wrong in Resdayn. Honestly, can any of you even punch a scrib? I mean, I guess it's fun randomly murdering people in their homes, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than skewering an orc in bonemold with the Spear of Bitter Mercy just for a muffin. 
Don't read The Stranger. Just hit me with your best enchanted with absorb health on strike daedric daikatana. I'm pretty much the Sharmat. I was faithful friend to Lord Indoril Nerevar, and I'm constructing Akulakhan with the power of Lorkhan's Heart. How do you use your major skills, other than "jump around like a tard to grind Acrobatics"? I also send dreams to my followers, and I can control my corprus (just cut a big chunk off; shit was SO fleshy). Is this how you honor the Sixth House and the Tribe Unmourned? You are all imperial dogs who should just be driven from Morrowind. Thanks for listening. 
Pic Related: It's me and my second numidium.[img]https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/elderscrolls/images/b/b9/Dagoth_ur_Akulakhan.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/200?cb=20160528121147[/img]