[quote=@Vordak]
>sees title
>[b]I'M GONNA FUCK MY OWN AAAAAASS[/b]
>[i]"please calm down
there's people around"[/i]
[/quote]

*sees post above* 

Can I watch? That seems like it would be /R/mildlyinteresting. You'd definitely get the top post somewhere on Reddit for being able to do that. You can bet your buttons it'd be flagged NSFW though.