Okay, so I've [url=http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/lay-versus-lie]learnt a few things.[/url]

1. Kho was right.
2. Wiktionary does not refer back to [i]which[/i] definition of lie that lied was the simple past tense and past participle of, which is great for making confusion of doofuses like Muttonhawk.
3. Lied is only ever the past tense of lie of the 'pants on fire' variety.
4. The proper past tense of lie of the 'down on the ground' variety is indeed lay.
5. My examples for lied should have been lay, though these are still intransitive, which means that Cinead did indeed LAY awake and the man did indeed LAY on his bed.
6. I am not the only person to be confused by all this.
7. English continues to be a poo-poo language for poo-poo heads but it is still the only one I know well enough to write prose in.
8. ROMANS AND GERMANS SHOULD NEVER TRY TO MAKE A COMMON LANGUAGE. EVER. THIS WAS A MISTAKE.

I'll just put this down to my colonial sensibilities putting me lacking in comparison to Kho's intuition on the language.