------------------------------------------------- [u][b]June 7th: Gebi Iyasu, Addis Ababa[/b][/u] ------------------------------------------------- The door shut with a loud echo as the German ambassador walked out. Sahle, lounging on his throne, casually threw a piece of raw beef to Aron. The lion caught it in his mouth and swallowed it in one bite. "Who's next?" Desta said testily. "Bacon" Benyam Felege, the Minister of Foreign Affairs, said. Desta and Benyam sat on stools at the foot of the throne. Sisay Makari, the old priest, leaned on his prayer stick at the Emperor's left. "Jefferson Davis Bacon" a page announced. The blustery red-faced American entered the hall talking. "Now what the hell, I say, what the hell is going on in this country. An Ambassador Plenipotentiary getting kilt in his own home? Oh." He remembered to bow, and did so awkwardly, giving the Ethiopians time to talk "I'll have the record show that Reginald Heap was not Ambassador Plenipotentiary." Benyam said, "Any potency he brought with him was his alone, and not given to him by the Rhodesian government." "Well I don't see how this is a laughing matter. A man is dead, sir, and I need assurances that my people are as safe as they would be in the bosom of the ol' south." "I apologize." Benyam said gracefully, "The Rhodesian authorities have assured us it was an in house matter. The murderer was one of their own staff. We're are increasing security on Embassy Row just to be safe. New police boxes will be installed, and the [i]Shotel[/i] will keep an eye on the area." "Well that's good to hear. Because I'll have you know that members of that damnyankee Carnahan clan have been blowing up our lines. That family ain't small potatoes, you hear? They are great big, expensive potatoes, with big expensive potato friends, and I can't afford to make enemies like that. Which reminds me, where exactly are the Carnahans?" "Sidamo Province." Desta said. Benyam shot him a glance. Bacon looked like he was preparing to break out in hives. "You left them in the sticks? After you heard there's someone prowlin' around killing white folks?" "I left them with the best guards in our country." Desta assured him, "They're safer than the Imperial family." "I'm not sure that's I'd feel comfortable unless the entire Abyssinian army followed them on parade with the righteous ghost of Robert E Lee at their head. You better get them Carnahans to me, Desta. In pris-tine condition! They have much as a bad hair day and you won't sell another bean in America. We'll go over to chicory." "You'll have your Carnahans." Benyam promised, "Fresh and lily white." "I'll take that as a promise." Bacon said. With that, their meeting ended. Bacon blustered out the same way he'd come in. Sahle threw another scrap of meat to his pet. "You didn't have to be here." Benyam turned to Desta. "We did." Desta said, "The Emperor needs to be seen. The line between murder and revolution is thin." "I disagree. It's a thick enough line. We've had some good murderers in this country, and few of them ever made it to [i]Negus[/i]." "Fuat Pasha" the page announced. The Ottoman Ambassador entered, a stately old man wearing a European suit and a fez, with a well kept beard that made him look a bit like Sigmund Freud. He approached the Emperor gracefully, made a textbook bow, and straightened up. "Your Imperial Majesty, the conquering lion of Judah, I am pleased to see you well." "We are pleased to see you too. What can Ethiopia do for your excellency?" Sahle said. Nailing the words made him feel like a pilot who'd just performed a successful landing on a cheap carrier. "The Turkish people have many enemies." Fuat said, "As your imperial majesty knows from experience, may I be so bold, greatness causes jealousy, and the greatness of the Turkish people is indisputable. The recent murder on embassy row reminds me of these enemies. I come to request better security." "We're are increasing security on Embassy Row just to be safe." Benyam said, "New police boxes will be installed, and the Shotel will keep an eye on the area. Now, the Rhodesians have assured us it was an in house matter. The murderer was one of their own staff. But we can assign you Shotel if that would make you feel more secure." "That would be excellent." The meeting ended, the Turk left, the door slammed. Sahle fed the lion. "Why do they keep coming here for such a basic request?" Sahle complained, "The Americans invented phones for this sort of thing." "It's better than sitting around the Embassy playing solitaire." Benyam said. "Makes them feel useful. If we used phones for everything, like if there was some great big book of all the phone numbers in the world and we just called each other, then what would important men at the end of their political careers have to look forward to? That's why God in his good grace invented Ambassadorships." "Anastasia Demetriades" The page announced. The Greek Ambassador was a woman of the stylish aristocracy, her hair kept in a short American style, a string of pearls around her neck. She looked flustered. Her bow was quick to the point of appearing violent, and when she came back up she was literally clutching her pearls. "Do you have any news about the... murder?" she asked. "The Rhodesian authorities have assured us it was an in house matter. The murderer was one of their own staff. We're are increasing security on Embassy Row just to be safe. New police boxes will be installed, and the Shotel will keep an eye on the area." "That's good." she said, "That's very good." "If you need any comforting, we are here for you." Sahle said. What he saw in the nervous Greek was a woman, and one not much older than him. "All of Ethiopia is here for you." Sisay added, leaning in. "If there is anything you need." "Well. There is one thing." she said, letting go of her pearls, "The Greek people are seeking recognition of Northern Epirus as part of Greek civilization." "That!" Benyam stood up, "Yes, borders are very tricky. I will be glad to hear the Greek argument, but now is not the time I'm afraid. May we reschedule? Allow us to get all our candles on one stick, so to speak." "That's all I have, your majesty." Anastasia toyed with her pearls again. "It was a pleasure talking with you." Sahle replied. Sisay leaned in again. "Go with Christ, child." the old priest blessed her. She left. The door slammed. The lion ate. "What's next?" Sahle asked, resting his head in his hand. "The Filipo Ambassador" Benyam said, "Lucrecia Calimlim" "Ooooh!" Sahle perked up, "I heard the Phillipines is ruled entirely by women. Like, if you are a man, you do the cooking and raise the babies, and the women go to work." "I've heard there's a woman in Djibouti who smokes cigarettes with her ass." Benyam replied, "But we can't believe everything we hear. Pardon my language, [i]Abba[/i]" he looked up at Sisay. The [i]Debtera[/i] smirked but tried to hide it. "You are forgiven." he said with a quick blessing. "Lucrecia Calimlim!" The page announced. In came a small woman who looked almost like a teenager, far younger than most public diplomats. She wore a frilly dress of a see-through white material, under which she wore a much shorter and tighter opaque dress. Sahle sat up, and watched her attentively as she bowed. "I come to you asking for nuts and beans." "Well..." Sahle began to speak, but Desta cut him off. "You have no concerns about the events on Embassy row? Before we get into anything else." "No" Lucrecia said, "I trust that I am safe here. I have never felt unsafe in my time in your capital. Though I haven't had the time to explore it. Perhaps his Imperial majesty might find the time." "So you just came here about nuts?" Desta asked, "You can buy them in the bazaar. We don't sell them here." "Not all countries are so open about their agriculture. I was asked by my government to procure a few things. Coffee, Cacao..." "We don't grow Cacao..." "...Water Buffalo. Or just the sperm..." "If you are hungry, your excellency, you might try [i]Injera[/i]" Benyam quipped. "If you want this stuff in bulk, you are allowed to purchase it from private sellers. We are friendly to foreign enterprise." "Do you know where best to buy these goods in bulk?" "I don't do my own purchasing." Benyam said, "I'd have to ask my servants where they buy the choicest Buffalo sperm." "Send a written list to the Foreign Ministry and they'll get you the information you need." Desta said. The Filipino ambassador left. Sahle watched the subtle sway of her hips as she walked out, and completely forgot about the lion. "Well, next up is the important one." Benyam said, "The old Ambassador is dead. Long live the Ambassador." "Evie Stevens" the page announced. In came a broad-shouldered woman in her middle age, dressed curiously more like a soldier than a woman, her skin a creamy latte color. She walked up, bowed manfully, and addressed the Emperor. "Your Imperial Majesty, I've come here to pick up the work the Heaps, God rest their souls, left off." "We are terribly sorry this crime happened. And on our soil? That is mortifying to us." Benyam said. "It was a tragedy. But the world was made for the living. We have to move on. The Rhodesian embassy unanimously insists our relationship go on as if nothing happened. Forget the past. Let's make the future of Africa, together." "Well said." Benyam replied, "Working together I think we can build Africa into a continent that, after a thousand years, will make Europe a mere footnote in the history of civilization." "And we would like to welcome you to Ethiopia." Sahle added, leaning on the edge of his seat.