Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Over Illusion
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Alright I'm no longer dying so:

@Kalleth
For Saber, please add in Class Skill descriptions before I do a proper look-over. I'm also assuming you're changing some stuff based on what you said in the Discord.

For Nick, why did this tutor go out of their way to find some kid with mediocre circuits and teach them? Were they just weird like that?

Also, as an aside, the General Fundamentals course takes five years to complete, and that was for a guy who was hailed as a prodigy. Very unlikely he'd be able to do it in less, all the more so when you've got all his other stuff.

Keep in mind that the fist wraps will only let you plunder Od, which is very small in how much energy there is compared to mana. Also, I will be blunt in warning you that if you punch a Servant with those on, there is a very decent probability you will explode.

The gloves don't really work the way you want them to as far as the positive feedback loop goes, since the amount of prana you get from punching someone isn't going to be very much at all. If you punch someone, you'll only be getting a few units of prana from them per punch, so you can maybe make the subsequent punch a bit stronger, but the second punch won't be any stronger than the third, and won't be much stronger than the first.




@ADamnFiddle @Over Illusion What do you think would be appropriate prep time for the hut and the horsemen? I was thinking the hut could maybe be built over the course of a couple days, and imbuing all four horsemen with E-Rank Servant power would take maybe a week.


Two days for the hut is fine.

Recall what I said about Servant-tier familiars. Avicebron's, which require 800 year old materials and additional prep, aren't at that level at all, and even Paracelsus's Elementals which require making a philosopher's stone as step one aren't. If you want the horsemen to reach the level of Servants, it'll take more time than the Grail War will last for. I recommend scaling them down so you can make creating them more feasible within the time constraints of the Grail's activity.




Decided to drop Agüeybana and replacing her with a newer, more well-known Servant of the same class.

So, let's make this Swift and deadly. Presenting another Rule 63'd warrior who fights with a pointy stick: Meet Longinus, better known as that one "guy" who pierced Jesus Christ's waist with his Lance to make sure he was dead.



So, how about it?


Change the description for Saint to one more in line with the canon one.

I'm not sure what "Holy-elemental damage" is for the NP's purposes.

STR to C, CON to C, AGI to B.

While this isn't technically a problem, the lance is kind of a big deal in canon, so you could raise it above C rank if you're so inclined.




I made an Archer who focused on skills more due to what his legend provided so hopefully he is fine. I believe he is up for review~



Hopefully Archer isn't too over the top, if anything needs to be changed, just shoot me the areas that need revisions to them~


Instinct isn't seeing the future, it's feeling the future. I recommend removing it and sticking with Clairvoyance.

Vitrification isn't blending into the environment so much as just mental interference protection by being so calm; the emulation of PC is more akin to something that arises from the plus modifier in not!Kojiro's case, so remove that bit.

The first NP doesn't feel justified in being an NP given that you're basically using an NP slot to get two extra Personal Skill slots. I'd recommend removing Instinct, redoing Clairvoyance accordingly, and subbing in Uncrowned to the then-open slot.

I don't really see the point of the second Noble Phantasm, since Eternal Arms Mastership just prevents mental interference from messing with your fighting skills, but Vitrification blocks out mental interference already, so it feels very redundant. Also the same issue as above applies in that this is basically just using an NP slot as a skill slot. As an aside, even EMIYA can make his arrows into curveballs, so something like that is fairly standard for Archers.



I've been busy recently, so I've missed some things, but looking back it seems like a few people are quite against Achilles. Maybe I'll switch him for another hero.


Don't feel obligated to by any means; neither Fiddle nor myself have any objections with him from a balancing perspective. If you would like to then you're welcome to, but yeah listen to your heart.



I expect to have my Master application done soon. I've ran into a few issues, but I guess that everything shall be alright by this weekend.


Neat.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Gummy1295
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@Over Illusion

]1. I'll change it right away.

2. I originally meant the skill to use True Ether-elemental damage, but even though it's been tainted with the blood of Jesus Christ, I think it would make his Noble Phantasm far too strong for the Master or the Servant to handle. I'm keeping the long-range, Excalibur-ish beam of light, but I'm a lot more comfortable changing the element of the Noble Phantasm's attack to Fire, with bonus damage to Evil-alignment Servants.

3. That's workable. I'll get it done right now, as well.

4. I think I'll need to ask permission before increasing this NP's rank to anything above B. The Holy Lance is indeed a relevant artifact in Modern Christianity, but would it be fair to raise it to a rank rivaling or nearing that of Excalibur? Or would that be too powerful for this iteration of the Holy Grail War?
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Over Illusion
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@Over Illusion

]1. I'll change it right away.

2. I originally meant the skill to use True Ether-elemental damage, but even though it's been tainted with the blood of Jesus Christ, I think it would make his Noble Phantasm far too strong for the Master or the Servant to handle. I'm keeping the long-range, Excalibur-ish beam of light, but I'm a lot more comfortable changing the element of the Noble Phantasm's attack to Fire, with bonus damage to Evil-alignment Servants.

3. That's workable. I'll get it done right now, as well.

4. I think I'll need to ask permission before increasing this NP's rank to anything above B. The Holy Lance is indeed a relevant artifact in Modern Christianity, but would it be fair to raise it to a rank rivaling or nearing that of Excalibur? Or would that be too powerful for this iteration of the Holy Grail War?


True Ether isn't an element, it's just a type of magical energy. If you're giving additional damage then I'll need a metric. I'd also appreciate justification for why it's stronger against Evil-Aligned.

Longinus is viewed as in the same light as Rhongomyniad according to the latter's sheet, so I personally wouldn't have any issue with placing it on the level of Rhon. Of course, prana cost would scale with that as well. Best to check if Fiddle has any objection to that himself, though.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Gummy1295
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True Ether isn't an element, it's just a type of magical energy. If you're giving additional damage then I'll need a metric. I'd also appreciate justification for why it's stronger against Evil-Aligned.

Longinus is viewed as in the same light as Rhongomyniad according to the latter's sheet, so I personally wouldn't have any issue with placing it on the level of Rhon. Of course, prana cost would scale with that as well. Best to check if Fiddle has any objection to that himself, though.


Rhon is ranked at A++, according to the wiki, so I'll take the risk of giving it the same ranking as a tentative. If Fiddle thinks it's too strong, I'll edit the post accordingly.

Also, I'll erase any mention of the bonus damage. I was under the assumption that this buff is standard for holy figures such as the Saints.

With that said, any other observations?
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Cojemo
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Heya, I'm interested, though I have a question. As far as what is known, is anyone making another Archer or Rider Servant, as those are the spots I'd be interested in.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Jangel13
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Hey I'm interested in joining and I created a character sheet. Please help me if their are issues with him:

Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Over Illusion
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@Jangel13

Class: Saber

Justify qualification for the class.

We have two sheets currently in contention for the remaining Saber slot, so your odds of getting in are low.

STR: S

S is not a rank.

CON: A

AGI: A

MGI: B

LCK: C

Please justify parameters of this level.

Class Skills: Saber class abilities allow him to use his dragon blade to destroy his enemies in a spectacular fashion. He has the ability to summon his dragon spirit to help him in a fight.

These are not Class Skills.

Personal Skills: Certain abilities a Heroic Spirit may have, such as Charisma, Artistic Talent, etc. Keep close to the legend; modifiers are temporary rank ups, not a rating of how good it is. Limit of three.

This is empty. This should not be empty.

Noble Phantasm(s):
Able to use his sword to summon a blue flame dragon to his aid aiming it at his enemy to destroy them.

Name: Fire of Ōshu

Title: Wrath of the one eyed dragon!

Rank: EX

NP Type: Anti-Army

Range: 3

Maximum Number of Targets: 100

Description: Summons a dragon from his sword that comes out of his sword and appears by his side. The dragon is dark blue and made from blue fire and stands 3 stories tall and roars as it stands next to Date. When he summons it and says "go Wrath of the one eyed Dragon!" and he thrusts his sword forward and the dragon strikes straight through destroying any enemies in its path that are unable to block it or dodge it.

Why does having a title with the word "dragon" in it give him an EX-ranked Noble Phantasm where he summons a dragon?

On the whole, I will be blunt in saying that this sheet baffles me. Very serious revision will need to be undergone before it is properly eligible for consideration.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Turboshitter
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Alright here’s my re-revised version of Baba Yaga:

Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Over Illusion
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@Turboshitter
Apologies, Fiddle and I will review this when the color has been changed so as to harm our eyes less.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Cojemo
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@Over Illusion Is there anyone in contention for the Archer/Rider spot left open on team blue?
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by ADamnFiddle
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@Over Illusion Is there anyone in contention for the Archer/Rider spot left open on team blue?


Not to my knowledge~
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Turboshitter
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Alright here’s my re-re-revised version of Baba Yaga:

Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Over Illusion
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@Turboshitter

As I said previously, please remove the rank-up on elemental attacks from the Personal Skill.

As I said previously, please change the range on the hut.

It's worth noting that you can call the prana furnace "inexhaustible" but it's really not, otherwise the Counter Force would break you over its knee.

The pestle cannot extend indefinitely as shifting it like that will require prana expenditure.

The mortar cannot carry an infinite amount of things as that would be Spatial Quarantine.

@Jangel13

Review of the revised version coming shortly, I must first increase my BAC.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Jangel13
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@Over Illusion just finished
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Over Illusion
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@Jangel13

1x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Over Illusion
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As an aside to everyone else present, I want you to know that you shouldn't worry about this happening to you. None of the other apps thus far have warranted the level of response that this one has. You're all wonderful and I hope we can have fun together~
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Jangel13
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Well damn that was needlessly hurtful. Fine have fun good luck with your rp
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Cojemo
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<Snipped quote by Cojemo>

Not to my knowledge~


Yay! I have 3 Servant ideas, and funnily enough one of them matches with Achilles and is an Archer, but isn't Chiron. If you don't mind, i'm gonna throw out a very quick idea of who I'll roll with, and if you want you can pick which of the 3 I'll play. I may as well get @Over Illusion to look as well.

The first is Paris in the Archer class. Abductor of Helen and driving force of the Trojan War, as well as the one who shot Achilles' heel. He'd be cowardly and preferring to fight from the shadows (having low rank presence concealment), though he'd follow his word and be upfront about his cowardice. He'd also be a ladies man, and one of his NP's would be able to bewitch any single female he chooses with a magic resistance of C or lower. The other would be a shot that will always hit his opponent in their weakest spot to make them culnerable, but not kill them. This comes from both his battle with Diomedes and Achilles. Straight up I did not intend for him to tie into other characters, but it'd be quite interesting to have Achilles killer on the battlefield.

Second would be Sinbad the Sailor in the Rider class. Unlike how he's often portrayed in media as a skilled adventurer, my interpretation of him makes him a loudmouth who, while decently skilled, only managed to survive out of sheer luck. I'd give him EX rank luck. He'd be bombastic and engage in fights where he's clearly outmatched sheerly for the thrill, and have no fear of death. At the same time though, with most of his ventures leading to his crew mates dying, he'd have a strong bond with his master and do his best to assure their safety. His two biggest NP's would be one where he can procure any mount (car, motorcycle, etc...) and turn it into a D class NP, and if he crashes it making an explosion equal to a C rank attack. This is based off how he never actually kept most of his mounts, and the one common thing among them is that they crashed in spectacular fashion. His second would be the manifestation of his luck on his seven voyages, and act similar to Heracles' God Hand. Basically, if there would be a situation where Sinbad would die, destiny would change itself and erect a situation where he escapes this fate, giving him the chance to counter attack or escape. This could be his opponent losing their footing or sneezing, the attack simply missing by a hair even if it shouldn't have, or other possibilities. Of course, this only activates seven times.

Lastly would be Saint George the Rider. I won't describe him too much since he already exists, but I will say my reasoning for having him here is because of how many over the top and extravagant Servants there are currently as far as personality goes, so he'd be a good counter to that. Plus, I just think he's an awesome Servant and his focus on defense would be another great juxtaposition. Oh, and the place where most of my family lives is named after him which is cool.

So yeah, those are the general ideas I have. Any question or whatnot you can ask for clarification, and if you already have preference you can just tell me. Sorry if you'd prefer I didn't do this, I just really love discussing ideas for things, especially Fate.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Over Illusion
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<Snipped quote by ADamnFiddle>

Yay! I have 3 Servant ideas, and funnily enough one of them matches with Achilles and is an Archer, but isn't Chiron. If you don't mind, i'm gonna throw out a very quick idea of who I'll roll with, and if you want you can pick which of the 3 I'll play. I may as well get @Over Illusion to look as well.

The first is Paris in the Archer class. Abductor of Helen and driving force of the Trojan War, as well as the one who shot Achilles' heel. He'd be cowardly and preferring to fight from the shadows (having low rank presence concealment), though he'd follow his word and be upfront about his cowardice. He'd also be a ladies man, and one of his NP's would be able to bewitch any single female he chooses with a magic resistance of C or lower. The other would be a shot that will always hit his opponent in their weakest spot to make them culnerable, but not kill them. This comes from both his battle with Diomedes and Achilles. Straight up I did not intend for him to tie into other characters, but it'd be quite interesting to have Achilles killer on the battlefield.

Second would be Sinbad the Sailor in the Rider class. Unlike how he's often portrayed in media as a skilled adventurer, my interpretation of him makes him a loudmouth who, while decently skilled, only managed to survive out of sheer luck. I'd give him EX rank luck. He'd be bombastic and engage in fights where he's clearly outmatched sheerly for the thrill, and have no fear of death. At the same time though, with most of his ventures leading to his crew mates dying, he'd have a strong bond with his master and do his best to assure their safety. His two biggest NP's would be one where he can procure any mount (car, motorcycle, etc...) and turn it into a D class NP, and if he crashes it making an explosion equal to a C rank attack. This is based off how he never actually kept most of his mounts, and the one common thing among them is that they crashed in spectacular fashion. His second would be the manifestation of his luck on his seven voyages, and act similar to Heracles' God Hand. Basically, if there would be a situation where Sinbad would die, destiny would change itself and erect a situation where he escapes this fate, giving him the chance to counter attack or escape. This could be his opponent losing their footing or sneezing, the attack simply missing by a hair even if it shouldn't have, or other possibilities. Of course, this only activates seven times.

Lastly would be Saint George the Rider. I won't describe him too much since he already exists, but I will say my reasoning for having him here is because of how many over the top and extravagant Servants there are currently as far as personality goes, so he'd be a good counter to that. Plus, I just think he's an awesome Servant and his focus on defense would be another great juxtaposition. Oh, and the place where most of my family lives is named after him which is cool.

So yeah, those are the general ideas I have. Any question or whatnot you can ask for clarification, and if you already have preference you can just tell me. Sorry if you'd prefer I didn't do this, I just really love discussing ideas for things, especially Fate.


Paris is fine in theory, but the justification for the first NP is shaky. The second one would involve Apollo interference like how Phoebus Catastrophe does, as an aside. For Sinbad, justification for the first NP.

The second NP's sublimated into EX LCK so that's pointless, and the effect itself is a no for balancing.

George is fine.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by ManyThings
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@Over Illusion Damn, did you get stung by an ineptly-made CS as a child or something?
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