When the staff flew, Sabine's breath caught in her throat. Meesei could even feel some reflex of magicka flowing through her hands, likely to attempt telekinesis, but she did not follow through. Instead, Sabine blankly gaped her eyes at the dead dragon, holding her breath until Meesei redirected her attention.

Sabine complied. She shut her eyes and did her best to take in a slow breath. Thinking was much harder. Images flashed in her mind of her old traumas, the trials before the hist ritual, and the trials during the ritual. She remembered everything that made her afraid. She held Meesei's hand tighter and tried to force her way into the other details. Her breathing strained.

For a short while, it appeared as if Sabine was not capable of answering Meesei's question. But right before the thought to speak came to Meesei, Sabine's facial features relaxed. Her breathing slowed to a forced, yet consistent pace. Even through her immense anxiety she found the first detail she needed in her thoughts and she fell into focus.

"I remember," she said rapidly to avoid stuttering. "They showed me I could survive. I could be safe. Even if there were things beyond my control. And...guilt. They helped me let go of my guilt. And they told me to act for my own good, even if it would mean pain at first."

Sabine opened her eyes. The only sound was her breathing through her mouth. Her brow wrinkled in a sad despondence. "But I...do not know what to do. I don't know. I know I can live. I know I can be strong. I know I am safe here. But I cannot stop shaking! I don't know how to make it stop!"