First things first. Eos' CS is updated with her most iconic powers for the sake of completion. Now, on to other matters... [@Thecrash20] Your character has a few points that need reconsideration. I'll address the main one first and then dissect it, since the idea itself isn't bad but it'll require multiple changes. We don't want characters able to resist and counter everything that's thrown their way, or so hard to kill that they would drag the battles into oblivion. With that said, let's go down to specifics: [quote=@Thecrash20] [b][color=f26522]Not Birthed, but crafted:[/color][/b] Nid had been created with a Sister and Brother unit in a time that Androids were in smaller numbers and wanted a trump card against the Super Natural. He was crafted to move faster than Humans could properly track, even faster then older model tracking and targeting modules could process into data. Having the strength of three Slave-Droids, but being as delicate as any non-combat android. Artificial skin wrapped around his servos and fiber muscles with milky white coolant to keep his body cool. To provide the optimal strength intended he was created with something very special to him, three artificial hearts. Like most androids, one of these hearts provided power to the body and processing unit in the head,but it increased his overall power generated and provided a faster way to cool the systems with increased coolant flow and cooling. This allowed Nid to have the Aptitude of a Non-combat Android, the Strength of a few Slave-Droids, and Witting of a combat model. While it would be overkill for a model that could be decommissioned easily as any Android at the time, these custom features were added to provide the power he would need to use his custom made Mobile Suit. [/quote] This ability in itself isn't bad, however, the description has an issue. There are no such things as Slave Droids. The closest would be non-sentient drones, but they can't be considered slaves, more than a factory robot of today can. That beats the point of the Machina completely. Now, while I'm at this, I'll address something that will be important to everyone as well. Before anyone else raises this issue. Originally, there was a restriction on all of the Machina power sources being directly beamed from Eos, instead of them carrying their own batteries/reactors/whatever. I'll lift that in order for player characters to have some more freedom, however, I'm banning the source of this restriction which are "fusion reactor bombs". [color=ed1c24][u]PCs are banned from trying to blow themselves in this kind of cheap shot, unless there's an self-destruction function clearly stated on their CS.[/u][/color] Apologies if that doesn't apply to you, but it was so much of a source of problems before that I thought it would be better to make it explicit now rather than later. [quote=@Thecrash20] [b][color=f26522]Advanced Chaos Security Suite[/color][/b]: Even as an android, Nid was designed to be resistant to Corruption from Holy and Hellish powers. Although its additional defense not given to many, it he is still vulnerable to Demonic Corruption. [/quote] This one is a problem, for two reasons. First, there's a logical fail there: How can he be resistant and weak to Demons at the same time? Hellish Powers, Demonic corruption, Unholy Magic and such are interchangeable terms. They all mean the same thing: Evil powers coming from Demons and other Hell associated characters. Second, a Machina should be weak against those kinds of attacks. We don't want characters that are able to do everything and resist everything. [quote=@Thecrash20] [b][color=f26522]Knights Armament Software V2:[/color][/b] A ancient software, Giving the User the knowledge and skill from any known Human Sword Fighting techniques. It also gave the ability to use his reflexes and allowing for super-fast or high-precision cuts. Able to easily deflect and cut through incoming attacks. [color=f26522][b]Prototype Battle-Droid:[/b][/color] Being an ancient model, designed for combat at a time where Numbers were small. To the average modern Android solider, Nidhoggur has advanced Hand to hand combat skills, weapon training, and critical thinking software stock with his Operating system. Allowing him to be more creative and 'intelligent' in combat than the modern Combat Android. [b][color=f26522]Advanced Overlay HUD and Range System:[/color][/b] Nid does not see with normal eyes. Very similar to current Combat Androids, a Overlay and HUD are always in his eye sight. Giving him real time data on his systems and the environment around him. Allowing him to process things faster than most Android could dream of. Enough to see projectile rounds rushing his way. The Range tracking unit enables him to judge ranges, velocity, and orbit of anything he can physically see. [/quote] This combination of abilities is ok, as long as it doesn't make him untouchable/impossible to damage. Beware of that. [quote=@Thecrash20] [hider=AEGIS Mobile Defense Suit: Model Knight v2.2] One of the First types of his armor kind. Currently it's very rare due to the history behind it. While current technology surpasses the time this was made, the concept is untouched by time. It was more than Power-Armor but not quite a Mechsuit. The happy medium of the two that was too costly to have more than one. At that day and age quality was key in making Nidhoggur's Purpose complete. The Armor itself is made of Tungsten fibers interwoven with a Titanium-Copper mix. Providing maximum protection from projectile and heat damage while still being light enough to move freely. Stronger and more effective than even the Individual shield units placed in modern Combat Androids. Although the power it holds comes at a great cost. A loss of life. Once a unit is placed in this suit, it is impossible to take them out. The neural link within forever traps the user in it's husk. This meant little for Nid as he was bred to live and die in the suit. Although for the Nexus, the armor was properly adjusted. His armor contains a personal shield generator that helps resist the damaging effects of Super natural effects. Also his armor has ancient Human inscription etched to his armor that rumor to provide resilience for these super natural foe's powers. [/hider] [/quote] This one is ok as well, however, it aso contains a misunderstanding. The Machina don't really have a notion of cost, or upkeep. THe only reason this armor wouldn't be mass produced is if it was built as some kind of test, purpose engineered device, the pet project of some scientist, or if Eos deemed it a failure in the long run. The Machina are a Post Scarcity, Post Singularity society, the concepts of production, cost and labor are meaningless for them. It's kinda like this dor the whole of the Nexus, but it's blatantly evident on the Machina. [quote=@Thecrash20] [hider=Hyperion: High-frequency blade] Created with super light, but highly durable metal. This sword is reinforced by a powerful alternating current and resonating at extremely high vibration frequencies. This oscillation weakened the molecular bonds of anything it cuts, thereby increasing its cutting ability. Striking, cutting, and thrusting attacks were performed with the blade, with the sharpened edge and point used for lethal attacks, and the blunt edge used as a clubbing weapon. Nidhoggur was also able to wield the blade with such accuracy and speed that they were able to deflect bullets. The Sword can retract to Nid's forearm to allow a free hand, springing out from under his palm when ready to use. It had been made to strike the opponents of the light and dark with ease.[/hider] [hider=Hyperion: Power-Shield] This shield is created with the same material that the armor Nidhoggur dons. Although just above the handle, a internal Gravitic energy field generator hides. Rendering all but the most powerful blows completely ineffective. The shield provides protection against both melee and ranged attacks and it is able to withstand an assault from even heavy weaponry such as a direct attack from an artillery cannon. The shield can collapse and magnetically slide from his hand to his forearm, giving him a free hand. Similiar to his armor, a shielding field has been Jury rigged to coexist with the stock Gravitic energy field generator and etched inscription provides resistance to Super Natural attacks. [/hider] [hider=Hyperion: 'Bull Dozer' Auto-Cannon] [img]https://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/dust514/images/4/47/1920x1200-Minmatar-Flaylock-Pistol.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130520031555[/img] A Mech Suit pistol is the Main Range weapon of Nidhoggur. For Nidhoggur's size it looks closer to a smaller Rifle, carried on his higher back. Carrying up to 12 76mm Explosive Slug rounds. Inside the round a tiny amount of conventional explosive charge is utilized alongside rocket propellant. This charge is just strong enough to force the slug out of the barrel and ignite the slug's propellant. The rocket-propellant is carefully fused to ignite just after leaving the barrel, alleviating any possibility of pressure build-up. The Slug then accelerates away towards the target under its own power. It is designed to penetrate the target and then detonate, causing immense damage and leaving little opportunity for survival. Blessed rounds containing holy water instead of the conventional explosive round have been given to Nidhoggur to deal with Demonic foes more effectively and Unholy inscription rounds to deal with the Holier targets. [/hider] [hider=AEGIS Mobile Defense Suit: Thrusts] Behind his back, lower hips, and above the ankles small Thrusters have been fitted to his unit to allow quick movements. Either helping him avoid attack or adding extra strength in his. These Micro-thrusts also allow him to make high leaps in the air. [/hider] [/quote] None of these are bad, again, with the caveat that they don't make him invincible. Two things though, I don't know if you read the declaration I made about the Machina tech before, so here's a link: [url]https://www.roleplayerguild.com/posts/4570678[/url] Also, as a bit of trivia that you may or not know, Hyperion is the name of the Machina capital. This is not a problem, I'm just pointing it for when it becomes relevant. I'll wait until your character is ready to review it again, but I guess that pointing these will save you time while you edit him. Now, [@thewizardguy]. First of all, you need to edit that backstory and make it in accordance to the suggestions we discussed on Discord, or anything else you may choose that doesn't clash against the lore. Now, for specifics: [quote=@thewizardguy] [Magnetic Field Manipulation] The main technology Daedalus was designed around, the ability to manipulate electromagnetic fields. Can use these to move around anything magnetic, including most metals and it's own body. By ionising and superheating air Daedalus is capable of generating plasma, which can then be manipulated through use of the electromagnetic field control. Fields of plasma can be used to form forcefields, projectiles, and weapons for Daedalus to wield. Plasma generation usually happens around or near Daedalus, preventing him from generating a bunch of plasma explosions halfway across the map. He actually needs to 'throw' them at the enemy, accelerating them with magnetism in much the same way a railgun works. Electricity generation can also be used to generate an ionised tunnel of air and then send a bolt of lightning through it, much like lightning works in nature. However this is generally far less effective. [/quote] This one is ok. I don't see a problem with this kind of weaponry. [quote=@thewizardguy] [Electromagnetic Burst] By simply firing waves of electromagnetism Daedalus is capable of disabling enemy technology. This knocks most enemy tech out of the air for a few moments, or at least causes it to fritz out. Biological targets can be 'microwaved' by exposing them over an extended period of time. This ability also has a tendency to disrupt communication. [/quote] That's fine as well, as long as you are aware that this is a power that is extremely prone to disastrous friendly fire. You'd better take care when you unleash it, because it can have some serious consequences. Also, it will not affect corrupted demonic tech with the full strength of the burst. I can certainly work as intended on Angel tech, even if their source of power is holy energy, it's still tech so their circuits can be overloaded and fried temporarily. [quote=@thewizardguy] [Modular Design] Daedalus is in fact designed from pieces not solidly attached to one another, but instead held together by a powerful magnetic field. This allows him to spontaneously alter it's design to bring out components usually stored internally. It also allows it's body to be seperated and put back together again, so long as the individual components are not destroyed. A quite effective defense mechanism against blunt impact force. [/quote] As long as this doesn't make him immune to physical damage it's ok. I'd suggest to make it so that he can only get disassembled into main parts (torso, limbs and head), instead of breaking down into tiny components. This way, it's still a defense, but still presents a target to be hit. [quote=@thewizardguy] [Sentinel Package] Capable of using electromagnetic fields to sense it's environment. Considering most anything naturally has or produces an electromagnetic field of some kind this is a fairly effective medium, and in fact replaces more traditional sensors. It grants Daedalus 360 vision and the ability to 'see' around corners and through walls. As well as to detect a number of things not clear to the bare eye. [/quote] As long as the range of this electromagnetic "Byakugan" isn't too big, it's ok. Also, be aware that most demonic cloaking powers, as well as any matter of undead creatures would be able to surpass it completely, effectively making your character blind to them. [quote=@thewizardguy] [b]Weaknesses:[/b] If it's power is negated/drained it's body will quite literally fall apart. [/quote] Add weakness to Demonic corruption. [quote=@thewizardguy] [b]Skills:[/b] Capable of analyzing and copying enemy moves. Becomes more dangerous the more information it has. [/quote] Explain how, and to what extent, he can copy others' moves, please. [quote=@thewizardguy] Unleashing inhuman shrieks into the night, the hellhounds tore across the battlefield. Their bloodsoaked forms bounded across the dark red stone as they hunted down what remained of the armoured squadron. A small group of soldiers moved steadily backwards unleashing pulses of bright red light from their rifles at the incoming demons. One of the beasts was struck several times, the hardlight beam simultaneously impaling it and cooking most of it's insides, and it went down with a gurgling wail. Another simply screeched, unleashing a series of thin needles from within the folds of it's flesh that embedded themselves into the visors and helmets of several soldiers. Behind them a city burned, razed to the ground by a horde of demons emerging from a rift in the sky. Several more shrieks heralded the arrival of flying warbeasts, and the sergeant barked a full retreat over the communicator even as he unleashed a final volley against the encroaching demonic forces. One of the beasts emerged from thin air, still crackling with demonic red energy. It's jaws closed on his rifle and bit it clean in half, forcing the sergeant back. Ripping one of the needles from his armour he charged the beast, impaling it through the throat even as it's snapping jaws reached for his face. Suddenly a bright streak of light moved across the sergeant's vision and the beast was hurled from it's feet. A large smoking hole had opened in it's side leaving it twitching and dying on the ground. Bolts of light rained from the sky, ripping through the demonic horde like a rain of falling stars. A hellhound dodged to the side only to have the radiant orb follow it's movements, slicing through the beast and then dissipating into nothingness. Awestruck, the sergeant gazed up at what he could only describe as a miracle. Two massive wings of radiant blue light held aloft a featureless figure of clean metal. It hovered far above the battlefield, as if judging all that it saw. Blue fire spilled forth from one of it's hands, consuming a nearby winged beast as it was sent crashing to the ground. Shafts of blue light formed around it, before launching themselves at the demons on the ground. Incoming balls of flame and needles were were intercepted by a lighter blue light flaring around the being, as if they had struck a forcefield of some kind. Silently, the sergeant dropped what remained of his weapon. The demons were retreating. [/quote] You character is not an Angel, demons wouldn't run away from him so easily. Ganging up on Machina is one of the most basic Demon strategies, considering that nearly all of them can fly, and most fight with suicidal abandon because running away means that they have to face RILD's wrath, this story feels very exaggerated... to say the least. You can keep the theme, but please review it.