[center][h1]Half-truths and Almost-apologies[/h1] [img]http://i.imgur.com/ytozL8X.png[/img] [img]http://i.imgur.com/XZCyPaz.png[/img] [/center] [hr][center][color=silver] 𝕆𝕔π•₯. πŸ™πŸ˜, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘 / / π•Œπ•Šπ”Έβ„π•€π•ƒβ„• 𝔼𝕒𝕀π•₯ / / π•Œπ•Šπ”Έβ„π•€π•ƒβ„• π•‹π•£π•’π•”π•œ / / 𝟘𝟑𝟘𝟘[/color][/center][hr] [hider Half-truths and Almost-apologies]Another round of training out in the early morning dew for Marcus. Last night hadn't exactly been the most restful of nights, a worrying trend that was starting to appear more frequently. He felt mentally exhausted, but there was seemingly no respite for him; he'd hoped it would get better in the days after he got his powers, but it seemed like it was getting [i]worse[/i]. Not that the hell they'd been forced through was helping at all - Marcus knew that the 'superhero missions' they'd been sent on had only exacerbated the problem. The only solution seemed to be trying to distract himself long enough to put it out of his mind. Which was why he was out here on the track. His foot caught the hurdle that had been set out, bringing his latest flash-jump to an abrupt halt as he faceplanted into the rough surface of the track. As usual, however, the sound of static brought him back, healing the abrasion that had started to trickle blood down his face. He stretched anxiously for a moment, and if one were paying very close attention, they would see him shimmer in place briefly: using up a Flash to start the 'cooldown' while he waited for his two rewinds to come back. Zoe herself didn't exactly look like she was in the best of moods, not that she ever really did. If anything she looked [i]less[/i] angry than normal, but that was still a long way from breaking into a smile - her movements were stiff and lopsided, and despite her best efforts she couldn't hide the occasional wince. Putting all that aside though, she'd come here for a reason; a reason who was a little busy eating dirt. At least he had been until he'd jumped back, anyway. Didn't seem to her like he'd noticed her approach, at least. Couldn't put it off forever, though. Unlike their first meeting, she wasn't interested in startling the guy, so she kept her voice carefully level as she called out. Stayed back too; it was becoming a habit, to try and keep as far from people as she could. Better that those urges were only directed towards herself. [color=palevioletred]"Hey. Marcus. Alright if we talk?"[/color] Marcus's head whipped around as soon as he heard the voice. It wasn't anything to do with it being Zoe's voice, just a byproduct of the 'constantly-on-edge' feeling the recent events had just about drilled into him. The red hair, the tall stature...it was Zoe alright. A double-edged sword; he wanted to be amicable and talk about the entire situation that had happened at the lighthouse, but until now, he hadn't been sure if she'd be willing to listen without turning him inside-out. Indeed, he was still a little wary of that distinct possibility, but she was doing a good job of lulling him into a false sense of security if that were the case. Still, it almost seemed like it would just be easier to let the events fester, leave the bridge to burn rather than try and repair it. He could run, and just try and stay out of Zoe's way in the future... "[color 33ec06]If you're willing to talk, I'm certainly willing to listen.[/color]" Marcus said, finally. A little more snippy than he would have liked, but that might have been unavoidable in the scope of their last interaction. [color=palevioletred]"I'll take that as a yes."[/color] A harsh note crept into her voice in response, but Zoe was used to the hostility by now. Dealt with it once, she'd deal with it a thousand times, and it was never undeserved, really. So beyond a slightly withering glare, she didn't make much move to counter it. There didn't seem to be much point, and at least he hadn't decided to run screaming. First things first. [color=palevioletred]"Shouldn't have lashed out at you. It's kind of a default reaction when I'm..."[/color] She paused. Pissed? Yeah, she had been, but that wasn't the root of it. She was pissed almost all the time lately, if not at anyone other than herself. She hadn't hurt her classmates because of [i]anger[/i], not really. So she sighed instead, settling on a compromise. [color=palevioletred]"When I'm freaked out. Not a good one."[/color] She was apologizing? Marcus was...a little surprised to say the least. He hadn't exactly expected a full 180 so quickly, especially not with the impression that he'd been given. Another mark for him not knowing what anybody was actually like, he supposed. There was a slight pause before he spoke. "[color 33ec06]That's....[/color] he struggled for a moment, trying to come up with the right words, "[color 33ec06]I'm certainly not going to say 'Everything is fine, that's okay', but I guess I can at least understand. It was a little bit tense, to say the least.[/color]" [color=palevioletred]"Don't."[/color] She glared at him, something about the statement getting to her. Understand? How could he - she'd been losing her fucking mind since the day they arrived here. No, she was sick of that, of people thinking they had [i]any idea[/i] what she was fighting with. [color=palevioletred]"I'm explaining, I'm not really saying sorry."[/color] Because 'sorry' invited forgiveness, and she couldn't be sure she wouldn't do it again. [color=palevioletred]"I went too far."[/color] Calm. Deep breaths. In, out-- she winced. No, wasn't a good plan. Forcing herself to meet his eyes, she spoke firmly. [color=palevioletred]"But that doesn't mean I'm taking back what I said."[/color] The harsh tone caught him off guard, especially since she had seemed to be trying to apologize. Now that it was clear that she wasn't...there were a few things that he wanted to say to her. [i][color 33ec06]If you're not here to apologize, why even waste the breath? I don't need you to explain your actions, I can pretty much figure out why an Aberration would lose her shit. Does 'explaining' yourself make you feel better about yourself?[/color][/i] "[color 33ec06]Fine.[/color]" he said, bluntly. There was a bitterness to his voice, the remnant of the things he wanted to say to her, but wasn't going to. "[color 33ec06]Is that all you came here for?[/color]" [color=palevioletred]"I wasn't trying to be--"[/color] Lashing out again, wasn't she? She frowned, glancing away. [color=palevioletred]"You can't forgive me, that's all."[/color] Something in her voice caught, afraid, vulnerable, helpless - but the moment passed as soon as it had arrived. Zoe was almost talking to herself as much as she was Marcus, as though trying to reinforce something in her own mind. Just as she was ready to leave, she paused. [color=palevioletred]"You told me you saved Lawrence in Wisford."[/color] And again, she was uncertain. Uncertain that she'd even get the time of day, even less so that she'd deserve the consideration. But this was something she had to make sure of. [color=palevioletred]"You looked after him, right?"[/color] A faint memory; the last time the ocean had opened up to him, he'd been able to save Lawrence with his power. Or, he assumed he'd been the one to prevent Lawrence from bleeding out - he didn't even know how much of that he could attribute to himself. Maybe Lawrence had been fine, and it was Christmas and Lily that had saved him entirely. He'd certainly been at hand in getting Lawrence injured, but he wasn't sure how much he'd been when it came to helping. "[color 33ec06]Yes.[/color]" he said, the half-truth sour on his tongue. "[color 33ec06]I tried to keep him from losing too much blood when the subnaturals showed up. I...I looked after him as much as I could.[/color]" he finally finished. [color=palevioletred]"I can't do that; look after people. Never could, even before all this."[/color] There was something that might have been regret in her tone as she glanced down at her hands. She wasn't sure where this was coming from, really. But it was true - all she knew, all she ever trusted, had been the work of her own fists. She didn't [i]like[/i] words, not really. They never turned out true when it mattered. But right here, words were all she had. [color=palevioletred]"Even there, I hurt people who didn't deserve it. Not just the subs that attacked us. I had reasons, but to tell the truth, I'm not sure I know how [i]not[/i] to. I'm in no place to ask any of you a fucking favour, but here..."[/color] She shook her head, the laugh that emerged sounding bitter and unhappy, cut off with a grimace. [color=palevioletred]"Just keep doing that. Keeping people alive."[/color] It seemed obvious enough, but it bared saying regardless. She wasn't quite done with the request, watching Marcus almost warily as she tried to gauge his reaction. Marcus's own reaction mirrored Zoe's; his eyes scanned her face to try and figure out what she was thinking, to no avail. It was almost [i]satisfying[/i] to hear Zoe say that; not just because she was the one asking him favors (he wasn't quite to those levels of cattiness), but the fact that he felt justified in a way. Sure, he'd hurt people...the man in D.C would probably never leave his mind...but he'd done so to keep his own team alive. Even if some people, and himself sometimes, didn't quite agree with it, here was someone who was in a similar situation. "[color 33ec06]That was my intention, right from the start.[/color]" There was almost a slight tinge of pride in his voice, as if he'd convinced himself that he was doing the right thing. Zoe frowned, unsure how to take Marcus' reaction. It wasn't the same situation - she'd never killed anyone it would have been smarter to keep alive. Well, not for a while, anyway. And back then, it had seemed better to eliminate the threat. How was she supposed to know they weren't all that rabid, that they were just-- [color=palevioletred]"Don't do it for me."[/color] The words spilled out before she could stop them, her mind fixed on a memory that brought a vicious light to her expression. Her eyes widened in shock for a second, before she squeezed them shut. Just a couple of seconds before she spoke again, almost eerily calm. No doubt in her mind about what she was asking. [color=palevioletred]"If I'm the one bleeding on the ground, just turn your back. Walk away. That's the favour."[/color] [i][color=ff57ff]I am telling you to make that sacrifice if the need comes, because if you won't, then I assure you, I will make sure that someone else will.[/color][/i] It seemed like a lot of people were making that request lately, and he was forced into the same situation that Siena had put him into. He sighed almost wearily, eyes darting around to avoid meeting Zoe's. It wasn't a promise he could keep, or a favor he'd be able to deliver on, he [i]knew[/i] that, and it [i]physically[/i] hurt him to listen to people make that request. Even Zoe, who had done her fair share of damage to him... "[color 33ec06]Let's hope we never end up in that situation.[/color]" Marcus finally said, noncommittally. [color=palevioletred]"If you say so."[/color] She didn't understand why, but she knew enough to know he hadn't agreed. Even when it would be a benefit to the group, when she'd hurt them again and again; she didn't understand why it was such a difficult concept. Of course she wouldn't ask anyone to kill her - they didn't deserve to bear that burden. Just to look away, to let it happen. To run. [color=palevioletred][i]I thought you'd be pretty good at that.[/i][/color] [color=palevioletred]"In that case..."[/color] She sighed, shaking her head. [color=palevioletred]"I guess I'll take my cue to leave."[/color] "[color 33ec06]You're free to stick around if you'd like.[/color]" Marcus opened up, trying to clear the faint air of hostility he'd gathered from her response. He knew, she knew...they both knew where they stood, for better or for worse. "[color 33ec06]I'm just going to be eating gravel...might be a chuckle or two to be had.[/color]" he said, shrugging slightly. God, things were easier when they were just making fun of his pinball skills. [color=palevioletred]"Thanks, but I'm good."[/color] Zoe forced a small smile as she turned to walk away. Drawing her hand across to her ribs, she glanced downwards, gritting her teeth as she pressed on the fabric of her shirt. It was a reminder; she'd made her choice about all this. And for better or worse, it seemed like Marcus had too. [/hider]