[hider=1/2/2177]“Hey.” “… Hey.” “Thought I’d find you in here.” “Looks like you were right.” “Not a bad spot. A little dark for my tastes, but nice.” “Not a fan of loud places, sir. Never have been. Give me the quiet spot and a good shot of whiskey and that’s all I’ve ever asked for. Maybe a bit of music too, the good stuff you know? None of that new shit that’s all flash but no heart. Hit me.” “You sure that’s a good idea?” “Don’t fucking look at him, I said hit me.” “Go ahead.” “Christ, you can listen to him but not me. Wonderful.” “I’m just-“ “Just what, sir? Looking out for me? I didn’t ask you to.” “Just call me by my name, Sarah, we’re not on duty.” “Does that mean I can officially say what I’d like to say, sir?” “I’d like to say no to that, but go right on ahead.” “Fuck off, Roy.” “Noted, but refused.” “You’re such an asshole.” “I haven’t even done anything to deserve that.” “You’re here, ain’t you? I didn’t ask you to be. In fact, so far all I’ve told you is to leave me the fuck alone. I mean, shit, I’m sitting here in the afternoon all by myself with every intention of getting trash blasted straight to the moon. Did I really need to be more explicit?” “I get your point.” “Not doing a great job of showing it.” “Yeah, I just think your point is bullshit.” “Oh, are you here to be the preacher and tell me all the answers to my questions aren’t at the bottom of this glass?” “Are they?” “Fuck you.” “I didn’t think so. Look, Sarah, I get it. The rest of the squad gets it.” “You don’t. You can’t. You never will.” “Well shit, Sarah. Throw me a fucking bone here, huh? I’m trying. We’re all trying, and we can’t do anything to help if you don’t let us. No! You’re not having another.” “Don’t you do that, don’t you come here and tell me what I can or can’t do. We’re off-duty, so drop your shitty hero act cus’ I want nothing to do with it.” “Fine. Fuck, fine, that’s just fine.” “Thank you.” “Just answer me one question, that’s all I want.” “Depending on the question, you might be wanting a lot.” “Have you visited him?” “… No.” “Not once?” “Would you?” “Yeah.” “Really, you would? Let’s say it was your father, you’re telling me you’d want to see that fucker ever again?” “People make mistakes-“ “That’s one big mistake, sir, what he did wasn’t just a mistake, it’s fucking murder. I want you to understand that, and don’t you dare throw out that same line of bullshit everyone has been throwing me. Family is family, right? Family doesn’t fucking do that.” “Shit, Sarah. Just let me speak for more than a second.” “Well, I’m waiting. The floor is yours commander, do as you please.” “Christ. All I’m saying is he’s your father. He raised you. There’s story there, history, the real shit, you hearing me? If you just let that all go it’s gonna’ eat you alive.” “I’ll be fine.” “Sure. You’re really doing so well right now. Yeah, fuck me right? Fuck me. That’s all you’ve got to say about this, nothing else. Fuck off, Roy. Fuck off, everyone. Sarah can handle everything all on her own.” “I can.” “Bullshit. It’s bullshit and you know it.” “No, Roy. I don’t fucking know it. You don’t understand, none of you understand. It wasn’t your dad. It wasn’t someone you knew, for all of you it was just a bunch of crazy lunatics and you were right to think that because only a psychopath could do what he did. You just don’t know.” “It’s been a year. It’s over now.” “Because I fucking ended it.” “What?” “They left it out of the report, sir. Psychological protection from trauma or whatever lie they pulled out of their ass to keep the cameras off me.” “Left what out of the report, Sarah?” “I was there that day. I was on some mundane patrol, just shooting the shit with one of my squad mates. We walked and walked, and I kept kicking a rusty old soup can just to pass the time. Then the bombs went off, and New Texas went to shit. We thought it we were being invaded, that it was some new world war about to break out, or something like that. Something. I didn’t ever believe it could be the resistance movement. What’s funny is that I agreed with them. Still do, honestly. I just never thought they could do that. No one could set off a bomb like that and just dust over a hundred thousand people going about their days like normal. But, they did.” “You were there.” “Yeah.” “Then that means you were on the counter operation.” “You’re quick Roy. Real quick.” “So that night you-“ “Yeah. It was smooth, quick, and efficient. We were mad. I don’t think I can describe how we felt. You know, we do our jobs because that’s what we volunteered for but sometimes you don’t want to go through with all the things that go on out there. But this, this was different. We didn’t want to just stop them, we wanted to kill them. Butcher them. No mercy, no surrenders, no survivors. It was a long and quiet ride over there, but the fight was fast. Most of them were good shots, but a lot of ‘em didn’t have any real training. We knew that once the firefight started, and we exploited it. The fight was over in an hour, and that’s when I saw him, and that’s when I knew he’d done it.” “Jesus Christ.” “He asked me for forgiveness… I double-tapped him to the chest, once in the head when he was on the ground.” “I didn’t know.” “How could you? You’re the only person I’ve told.” “What about your mom, your sisters?” “Tell my mom I shot her husband? Tell my sisters I shot their fucking dad? Yeah, Roy, that’s a great idea. No, I haven’t told them. I haven’t seen them in over a year, and I didn’t go see that fucking monster get buried either if you’re wondering.” “I was.” “Well you don’t have to anymore. You got your answers, happy?” “Not really. You want another drink?” “Oh fuck you, you feel bad for me now?” “Honestly, I just think you’ll go broke if I don’t pay for the next few rounds.” “You’re such an asshole.” “Yeah, maybe, but at least I got a smile for that one.” “Whatever.” “You’re welcome.” “Cheers, you prick...” “You should see them, your mom and your sisters. I’m sure they’d like to see you.” “I know they would. I’ve got plenty of messages to prove that true. Look, Roy, I just can’t face them. I just can’t look them in the eye knowing the truth of how it actually went down. That I was the one who shot him, and worse, I wanted to.” “You could visit him first. What you lookin’ at me like that for? He won’t talk back. I’m just saying you need something, and if you don’t start getting your ass back out there you won’t ever find your way back. Is that how you want it to be?” “No.” “So you’ll do it?” “No. I don’t know, maybe.” “Maybe’s good. Maybe’s better than nothing, huh?” “I guess. Yeah.” “Yeah…” “… Yeah.” [/hider]