[quote=@SleepingSilence]
Time passed, Time went, Time goes, Time slowed, time stopped, but time dwelled on. One fish, two fish, red fish..." You get me right?


Does "Time passed, went, goes, slowed, stopped but dwelled on." Change literally anything about the cohesive structure of that sentence? [/quote]

It's coherent either way but Seuss is using anaphora for emphasis, in this case that would be the repetition of time. There's nothing wrong with your revision of it, just that it loses the literary device. Seuss' thing has a rhythm to it and rhythm makes things easier to read or more easily memorable. For example, try clapping as you read the Dr. Seuss thing. You'll get into a 'one-two' rhythm almost like, say, footsteps. Time-passed, time-slowed, time-goes, time-slowed, time-stopped, but-time, dwelled-on. 

You don't have that when you take out the repetition of the word 'time'. Sure, both of these work but one is more...let's say [i]fun[/i] to read. 

If that makes sense.