I try to feel
I try to think
But there's nothing 

There's nothing up there
There's nothing in my mind
My heart is empty

I feel like I'm happy
But I feel like I'm empty
There are no thoughts, no feelings

I try to care
But you make it difficult
You fight with me
You ask me why you matter
Why I love you
and, for the first time, 
I don't know

I'm trying to hold on
Because that's what I've been told to do
I'm trying to understand
Why is it so difficult? 
I've done this all before
I've cared so deeply
Loved so passionately 
But now I don't care

I've asked what's wrong with me
But no one seems to know
I've looked inside myself
But there's nothing there

I don't know what to do
What to do about you
Or me
Or this

Maybe there's nothing to do
Maybe I just need to accept it
Maybe I just need to let you go
It's what I feel like I need to do

But you've been with me for so long
Five years
Why does it suddenly mean nothing to me? 
Why do I suddenly want to leave you? 
Why is guilt the only thing keeping me with you? 

Why is guilt the only thing in my mind when I talk to you?
Why is guilt the only thing I feel? 
Why do I not care
But I feel such strong guilt
Nothing is there any more
But this horrible guilt 

You say you hate me
But for some reason, you respond 
You say move on
To let you go
But why do you keep pulling me back? 

Every word
Pulls me back
I feel nothing but guilt
And it keeps pulling me back 

I thought I loved you
But I'm just guilty 
I hurt you
and I'm sorry 
But you won't accept it
So I just feel guilty

Not happiness, 
Not emptiness
Not this nothingness, 
I feel
Guilt.