[quote=@Feisty-Pants] [hider] Name: Jeanne d' Luc Age: 24 (An Academy Alumni asked to Teach.) Element: Light Appearance: Without Armor: [img]https://i.pinimg.com/originals/cb/f6/17/cbf617e07eee3dd0354ed6fd1536cf3f.jpg[/img] Personality: Fierce, Defiant, but similarly full of hope. Quick of wit, but seemingly cold of heart when it comes to those who attempt to get close to her. In her dreams, nightmares persist of the darkness that lingers within her soul, no matter how desperately she tries to vanquish it with a blaze of light. A place where she, an Angel of Light, of Hope, is haunted by the spectre of death. Because of of this, her vigilance is a near constant, as if she is often a Knight that is on guard. This can give her a external persona that is a little stiff, perhaps even awkward, but as a teacher she cares deeply for her students; regardless of their elements. However, if one sought to dig deep enough, a kind, matronly girl would be found, despite her younger age. History: When it came to those who harnessed light, there are few more enigmatic than the Academy's famous Knight. She was brought to the academy as an orphan who caused naught but trouble with her rudementary use of light. Having lived a life where she had to steal to survive and eat, the sharp change to becoming a student wrought much confusion in her first year at the academy. If it were not for Jax Razor, one of the teachers, recognizing her potential, she might not have graduated. Where other students were given their weapons, Jeanne's potential allowed her to [i]create[/i] hers. Where others wielded knives, maces, and bows; Jeanne forged her own weapon from pure light. Where others would cause bursts and eruptions of light, she molded and shaped it to her will. At first it was just a sword, but as her studies and disciplines continued, it became much more as she learned to create a shield, and even soft fabric out of woven light. With the Jax's guidance, she grew to be able to summon and dismiss such items at will, and in just a few seconds. It grew until she found her current precipice, where she could conjure up to three swords in the air. Blazing blades of light which moved and attacked or defended to her will. As her successes and fame both grew, so did her prowess, which only manufactured fear, awe, and envy when she fought in both practice and in reality. Many would describe it as watching an Angel bringing the wrath of God upon her foes. Upon her graduation, Jax gifted her with an invitation. A chance to teach at the very academy that had shaped her life for the better. An invitation that she took up joyously without regret. For it was her home, and her family alike. Each of her students are treated as such, and in her two years of teaching, she has never looked back. Equipment: None, she creates it. Class Taught: Basic and Advanced Light Theory [/hider] More requested edits made? Hopefully good to go? [/quote] History's acceptable, but the personality is not detailed enough. It reads like a propaganda pamphlet for one of the Living Saints of the Adeptus Sororitas. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of a semi-holy knight of light chick, but based on the personality details that you've given, I have no clue if this character is every bit the perfect little angel or if she has a darker side. Does she have any doubts? And aside from her element, and her history at the academy, what else makes her tick? I would recommend to you to take the character, and isolate her from the RP. Then go back and read what you put down for personality, and try and discern what this character is actually like based solely on the description, as if somebody else were describing her to you. Because all I got was; Hardass, disciplined, soft hearted. I hope you can see why I can't accept a personality description that can be summarized in three words. There are a lot of places you can go with this. The theme of trying to avoid/purge one's darker side, and having it backfire severely on the character is one we've already begun digging into in the RP, and a character who embodies that struggle could be very useful. I'm just asking you to expand, provide depth, and layers of complexity to your character which will aid you greatly in giving your character a narrative direction. That one line about her nightmares and trying to purge the darkness in her soul smacks of unnecessary edginess, unless you substantiate and contextualize it sufficiently to where I can empathize with the character, and understand her more deeply than; "She's a badass light knight with a deep inner struggle that means she puts up walls around herself and pushes others away." That's what I expect when you summarize, not explain in depth your character's personality. So my answer is no, at least until you come up with a description of your character's personality that fulfills my expectation of giving me a glimpse into who Jeanne [i]is,[/i] as opposed to who everybody else thinks she is. If you'd like examples of acceptable character profiles, I'd cite my own and Zelosse's as examples of standards to try and meet, though Crusader Lord's CS personalities probably most closely resemble what I'd like to see from your own character's description in terms of details.