[quote=@Kalleth] History's acceptable, but the personality is not detailed enough. It reads like a propaganda pamphlet for one of the Living Saints of the Adeptus Sororitas. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of a semi-holy knight of light chick, but based on the personality details that you've given, I have no clue if this character is every bit the perfect little angel or if she has a darker side. Does she have any doubts? And aside from her element, and her history at the academy, what else makes her tick? I would recommend to you to take the character, and isolate her from the RP. Then go back and read what you put down for personality, and try and discern what this character is actually like based solely on the description, as if somebody else were describing her to you. Because all I got was; Hardass, disciplined, soft hearted. I hope you can see why I can't accept a personality description that can be summarized in three words. There are a lot of places you can go with this. The theme of trying to avoid/purge one's darker side, and having it backfire severely on the character is one we've already begun digging into in the RP, and a character who embodies that struggle could be very useful. I'm just asking you to expand, provide depth, and layers of complexity to your character which will aid you greatly in giving your character a narrative direction. That one line about her nightmares and trying to purge the darkness in her soul smacks of unnecessary edginess, unless you substantiate and contextualize it sufficiently to where I can empathize with the character, and understand her more deeply than; "She's a badass light knight with a deep inner struggle that means she puts up walls around herself and pushes others away." That's what I expect when you summarize, not explain in depth your character's personality. So my answer is no, at least until you come up with a description of your character's personality that fulfills my expectation of giving me a glimpse into who Jeanne [i]is,[/i] as opposed to who everybody else thinks she is. If you'd like examples of acceptable character profiles, I'd cite my own and Zelosse's as examples of standards to try and meet, though Crusader Lord's CS personalities probably most closely resemble what I'd like to see from your own character's description in terms of details. [/quote] Done now, I think? See the CS above, didn't think it was necessary to copy paste just two posts away.