Oh, yikes. I didn’t write my entry with the Terminal treatment [sub][sub][sub]Someone TM that[/sub][/sub][/sub] in mind. I was just writing casual-contest writing. Haha.

In the meantime, here’s my opinions. That are my own and I’m not any kind of authority.

[hider=opinions][hider=Mattchstick’s Entry]”Blacksoul”. What a telling name. XD

… Oh, dear, sweet mother of otters, this was ridiculous, in a good way. XD

Well. Okay. I don’t have much more to say. It’s clear you were making a joke, and it worked. I currently can’t stop smiling. Alright. Well done. Now go do whatever else you’re doing. Haha.[/hider]
 
[hider=The Elder’s Due]Hm. That’s a curious development. The sculptor's death caused the carving to become priceless. I’m intrigued by this. Nicely written.

I guess that was an old enemy that had come to take revenge. Yeah, it’s nice. The part of him just being old was a bit wordy, but suppose that was needed to get us in the right mood. Took a few tries for me to get through. But, yeah. It’s nice.[/hider]
 
[hider=The Bridge]… Bitter, slightly bittersweet but definitely on the bitter side. Poor mother. Oh, well.

A different kind of “second chance”, huh? Well. That’s one take on it. Well written. I believe you caused the intended emotions.

… Yeah.[/hider]
 
[hider=Etching Elli’s Stone]I don’t entirely get it, but this sure is one beautiful picture you’re painting. Bittersweet, but with emphasis on sweet.

The only taste we really get of how bad he was is a single mention of delinquency, but heck. After having read about numerous jerks in a row and myself having written about a bitch, this was a nice change of pace. Nicely written.[/hider]
 
[hider=Miriam]Well. Our character is a god in existential crisis, huh. I am very confused as to who Miriam is and why a god who has destroyed everything keeps her around. Oh, well.

It was interesting, after I finally got into it. I’m a bit confused as to why love would influence him after he already knows everything, but hey, good for him. There were a few minor errors in the text, but overall it was good. I can’t write spiritually, heh. Nicely done.[/hider]
 
[hider=The Desert Prince]I’m sorry to say, that fell flat for me. The whole last scene is an info-dump as it is, just the prince being convinced of who he is and such. But, there are so many little things. Why would he have been given a Mahali name if Queen Bitch was pretending to be the real mother? If she had such a grasp of the king, I feel like that’s something she could control. I must assume Mahali and Eccahanians look pretty similar, or he would have thought of this a while ago. It is possible, but…

Eh, those details aside, it felt somehow unnatural. I’m not entirely sure. It was a scene that I’ve seen many times before in other stories, it somehow never gets less awkward, and afterwards it builds up a lot of world that we never get to actually see in action. I don’t think that works well in a short story. It’s clearly a part of a larger story, but at this moment, I’m unsatisfied.

Still. Lia and Teddy were cute together. The opening scene was interesting, set up a mystery for why the queen spared the man, and then excitement when the prince goes out sneaking on his own. That far was excellent. I just wasn’t a fan of the exposition.[/hider]
 
[hider=1/2/2177]I’ll assume this was your way of getting over the “tell a story in a mere 1000 words” problem. Yupp, this certainly works (almost).

I sense a lot of story that isn’t being explicitly told here. The title for one, some lethal bombs. But, we’re focusing on the actions of this one woman. Yeah, I found this interesting. Well done. Shall I assume the change we’re to see is how she did admit what she had done and went from cursing at him to “maybe”? Yeah, might work. This was a pleasure to read. Thank you.[/hider]
 
[hider=Potatoes]… Hah. Okay, I’ve seen plenty of first-person stories, heck, I wrote one, but you’re using “you”? You’re giving the reader an identity? Interesting. Let’s see where it goes. 

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum.

Ooooooooooooooookay.

So, what level of mind-screw is this? Hahahaha.

So, was that a metaphor, or is she literally taking off parts of her body and giving them to people based on their needs?

I have no idea. But, I’m stunned. I have few words. I don’t get it but I love it. This is amazing. Hahaha.

I will question, this seems more about this mysterious entity. Sure, the talking guy had a change of heart, but… he’s not the highlight, now, is he? Also, what’s up with the title? What part here’s about potatoes? Oh, well. Hahaha.[/hider]
 
[hider=It’ll get easier over time (author’s comments)]*first thing I write on this post* I hadn’t read any of the other entries before I wrote mine, so any similarities are because of the prompt! XD

It is quite simply the journey of a girl who thought she was the ideal criminal yet had these pesky things called feelings mess it up. Not sure if it’ll actually be an enjoyable read, and I do know I show very little of her “second chance”, but this is the inspiration I got from the prompt. I realized after I was done it should have been more about her new self rather than the story of her dark self eventually turning to her new one. Oh, well.

First-person because, well, the main character is a bitch who’s emotions conflict her world-view, and I thought it would become more personal like that. Not really written to be my magnum opus or anything, I was just happy to write for a contest of some sort again, and I tried to make it a short story due to the supposed 1000 word-limit that I couldn’t maintain. Heh.

I’ll see what people think.

Edit: Also, I made the mistake of thinking I had to get the entry in BEFORE Monday, not ON Monday. I caused myself stress for no real reason on Sunday. XD[/hider]
 
[hider=The Trade]I don’t get it. It feels like there’s a lot larger a universe here, and that I’m only feeling the smallest part of it. And, yeah, ultimately I don’t understand what happened. Where exactly in the story did he make the trade? Was it a conscious trade? Was it when he dropped the ball of madness somewhere? What else could he have done? What exactly did he trade for what?

Oh, well.[/hider][/hider]

Huh. I’m not allowed to vote. Okay...