He used her first name again. It felt familiar and right on his lips even if decorum said otherwise. Vance followed it with an apology for being forward. Lillian did not take it as an insult, though to tell him that she enjoyed it would be forward on her part. It did bring up the point that she had not decided if she was returning to her maiden name or keeping her husband's. Much like when she would change from her mourning clothes, Lillian had not thought that far into the future. 

Vance discussed what he believed about monsters. Lillian found his thoughts on the subject fascinating. She hadn't realized how much she missed conversation of this sort until now. She and Bruce often discussed many topics from business to history, philosophy to general news. Both were well read and well educated. Their breakfasts often turn into great long discussions that they had to pull themselves away from to get on with their day. After dinner was often the same.

Now, she leaned in engrossed in listening to him when the knock on the door seemed to startle them both. Lillian sat straighter, her one hand gripping her book to her lap. Vane was standing, hand on his gun.  As the door opened, Lillian's cheeks warmed. They were acting almost as if they had been caught doing something wrong yet they had just been too involved in conversation to pay much attention to their surroundings.

She stood as the men began to leave. "I will stay but I thank you Mister Hamilton for the conversation. And Lillian is fine."

Lillian watched them go. She couldn't bring herself to tell him which of her last names she would continue with. Choosing Stewart felt like she was trying to forget about Bruce but McGregor brought back sadness.

Her book in hand she made her way out of the parlour to the upper floor and her room. Luncheon would be ready soon and she felt the need to freshen up after her nap. As she made her way down the hall her mind was on Vance, the book and the desire she had to continue their conversation again.

"Your hair is a mess. What did Tilly do to it this morning?" Anna stood in her doorway with a frown on her face.

"What? Oh, no. I tried to pin it up myself..." Lillian reached a hand up to touch her hair. It was slipping out of its pins.

Anna shook her head. "Let me fix it for you."  

The two women headed to Lillian's room. She deposited her book on the bedside table before sitting at her dressing table. Anna came up behind her and began to free the pins from the dark hair. 

"Mr Hamilton is here. Uncle has taken him outside for a walk around the ranch."

As if on cue the sound of gunshots rang out. It had taken Lillian some time to get used that sound when she first arrived. Boston had guns but most gentle society did not carry them. There wasn't the same need as there was out here. It really was a different world than the one she had grown up in.

"I bet Jenny will be happy to see him. I know I am pleased to learn we will have some night time protection. I can hear things at night, when I can't sleep. Animals most times I am sure but there will be something nice about knowing someone is watching the grounds. Not losing cattle will be good too. I hear we have lost a fair number. Let's hope your Mr Hamilton is a good shot."

Anna's eyes met hers in the mirror that was attached to her dressing table. By the heat in her cheeks Lillian didn't need to look to know she was blushing. "He is not my Mr Hamilton. I have known him for as long as you have."

"And yet that rosey skin says perhaps you enjoy the attention he pays you. I am guessing he will sit across from you at lunch as well. The man was quite interested in you yesterday. I saw him watching you from the moment he came in the door."

Lillian shook her head a little causing Anna to pull her hair as she wound it. "Hold still now." Anna scolded.

"I believe you are mistaken. A man does not find a widow attractive." 

The brush ran through the long strands. Lillian was waiting for Anna to pin them up as well but she stopped, stepping away. A look in the mirror showed that some of her hair had been artfully wound into a bun on the back of her head. The rest of the dark brown locks hung in waves about her shoulders and down her back.

Lillian looked at Anna. "Married women wear their hair up."

Anna smiled sadly. "You aren't married anymore sweetheart." She patted Lillian's cheek. The young woman was three years younger than her and had not been married long. She had less experience in men, families and marriage. Anna both envied and pitied her. To be young and widowed felt hard and harsh in this place. She should be out and enjoying life, not wearing black and sitting alone. 

"I think Jenny's idea for a party before the baby is a good one and I think you might want to consider changing. I did not know your husband very well but what I did know of him I do not think he would want you to spend your time missing him and not living a life. You think on it. Would Bruce want you to smile or sit here pale, alone with a book in your hand?"

Anna put down the brush and left the room. The luncheon bell rang out signalling the family to come down to the dining room.

Lillian looked at herself in the mirror. The black added to the paleness of her skin. It almost made her look corpse like in certain lights. The dress itself was a cut for a woman her aunt's age, not a woman of 22. A hand touched her hair that now framed her face. 

She looked down to her hand where her wedding band still sat on her finger. What would Bruce want her to do? The sound of people in the hall, Jenny's laugh reminded Lillian it was time for their meal. And of course, their guest.

People were sitting and the food was being put at their places when she stepped into the room. Jenny's eyes went wide at the sight of her hair. "You look beautiful." The woman smiled and looked excited. "Does this mean we can go get a new dress for the party?"

Lillian could feel her aunt's eyes on her as she took her seat. "We will talk after lunch Jenny."

Jenny bounced into her seat. "Maxwell is outside. He said Vance..Mr Hamilton is here. I wonder if he will take the job. Won't it be nice to have so many strong men around to protect the ranch?"

Lillian nodded as she looked down at her plate. Would Vance notice her hair? Would he like it? Did it matter to her if he did?

"The soup is beef and vegetable. Some cheese and other things will come out soon. Bread should be warm." Mabel looked around. "Those men better not bring dust into my dining room." She looked stern as she passed the basket of bread to Jenny.  Anna rolled her eyes a little.