So yea, I read all the entries and made a review of each one. [hider=A tale from the life of Axel Blacksoul by Mattchstick] A short read, but one that made good use out of every word. You went into just enough detail to assist the reader with constructing the scene. Something that might have made the punchline a bit stronger is if you weren't silly all the way through. Sometimes being dramatic is important to set people up for a good laugh. Though I suspect this was a joke entry. Good enough to act as a real entry anyway, even if it didn't make me laugh. [/hider] [hider=The Elder's Due by Kalleth] The beginning of this story was kind of confusing. We don't know their names, what they look like, etc. It isn't until we get about half way through that a few details start to come out. I think this could simply be corrected by by describing the storm, building, and characters before they start talking to each other. The second, larger part of your story gets it right though. Alder was an interesting character, and while not a lot is said of his past or even what's currently going on, the reader can fill in the blanks pretty easily. Despite this story having a bit of a bloated word count, you did make good use of those words. There are a few redundant descriptions however. (Example: go outside to think your thoughts, etc) Otherwise, you have a pleasant writing style. Stories like this aren't my cup of tea. Having said that, I probably would have gotten greater enjoyment if it was a bit more organized. [/hider] [hider=The Bridge by Shienvien] Just a little over the word count eh? I think I was suppose to feel bad for the main character, as the story seems to hinge so much on their emotional state. But I found them pathetic and didn't really care about what they were trying to. This left me feeling detached the entire time I was reading. His plan didn't even seem like it would bare much fruit anyway. Or was that the idea? This might be nitpicking, but I'm pretty sure finding someone's microchip outside their body would look pretty suspicious, especially if you believe said person jumped off a bridge. I would have liked to know a bit more about what he was trying to accomplish, more so than how he actually did it. That, and a reason to think the character was anything more than a screw up running away from his troubles, only to inevitably have them catch up to him. [/hider] [hider=Etching Ellis's Stone by SleepingSilence] [i]“I’m just getting a peppermint flavor next time...”[/i] kue kue kue... Probably one of the sweeter stories I've read that happened in a grave yard. I enjoyed the story itself, and liked that you kept the word count under 1K. Though the second half of the story felt underdone compared to the first half. If I had any issues with the narrative, it was how Ellis talked to himself out loud like he was an anime character. The story probably could have been done in first person to get the same results. Then there are these two huge run-on sentences: [i]...Noticing one of the Sunday regular’s, a widow that’s lived decades longer, wearing a Renaissance widow dress, approaching a weeping angel statue, collapsing to the ground and letting out anguished cries, beneath a rainbow off in the distance towards the city...[/i] [i]...Underneath the pale moonlight partially shrouded by clouds, the stink coming from his muffler was nearly suffocating, pulling into the driveway and checked the displaying time on the radio, softly playing some classic rock...[/i] Still, I enjoyed the story. [/hider] [hider=Miriam by Vocab] That is 100% better than the entry you were originally going to go with. I don't feel bad about being mean to you now. Even though you never explicitly say it, I know the point of view god is a chick, and that makes this story even better! In all seriousness, I enjoyed the story. I do think it would have been possible to get under the 1k word limit, and you did forget to add quotations around some of Miriam's dialog. The story itself was conveyed well enough however. Good read. [/hider] [hider=The Desert Prince by Blitz] I know they said you could go over the word count, but 3k+ just sounds excessive when the limit was suppose to be 1 k. I even think it was possible. Golan could have been discovered in the streets, and the sister's inclusion in the story was entirely irrelevant. I also think Golan's story would have been much more interesting if it was shorter, as it [i]still[/i] doesn't really clear up everything. The story reads very well however. There were no glaring errors in the actual writing itself that I could see. A good read, but Golan's tale is definitely the weakest part of the story. [/hider] [hider=1/2/2177 by Dark Wind] I've seen this done before. And while I enjoy stories that are mostly talking, stories that are literally all talking seem to lack something. It's very easy to get confused as to who's talking or feel much of the atmosphere. No glaring issues with the prose itself. Not really my cup of tea, but it is one of the better stories I've seen written this way. [/hider] [hider=Potatoes by Exit] Oh, like mister potato head, I get it! Interesting story, though I don't see a clear connection to the prompt. The writing itself was pretty good. I can't think of anything to actually critique without going into nitpicking territory. Good job. [/hider] [hider=It’ll get easier over time by PlatinumSkink] Hi pLAT, WHAT'S UP? Why is everyone over 1k words REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Despite it's length, I felt you made good use of the words. That was also a good use of the prompt. Much like potatoes, I don't think I can really say anything negative about this one without going into nitpicking territory. Save for the part that goes “Bloodshot, large man, local villain, sat with his hands together inspecting me along with the three other present power-users under his command.” That probably could have been restructured. Good job. [/hider] [hider=The Trade by Balance] 1085 words, SO CLOSE! It was kind of hard to get into the story. I think the world you selected for the story was a bit too expansive for 1k words. I didn't really understand the mind scape, the chaos, or any of that stuff. I do understand that Soren was probably crazy and mistook his sanity for insanity. But that's it. I wasn't really a fan of the formatting. [/hider] My vote goes to “ It’ll get easier over time” by PlatinumSkink. I would have given it to potatoes, but I felt like it didn't get close enough to the prompt. Good entries, tempted to join the next one. But then who would be left to vote? Phu phu phu phu!