Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Deluge
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Deluge long horns.

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@KOgaming



I think the answer is obvious.

We don't have enough players to support adding more dorms anyhow
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by KOgaming
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A man can dream. He would have worn a pimpin' purple velvet cape and wooden cane along with his uniform.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Satoshi Kyou
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@KOgamingeven if we could have added it I had everything planned out for a smaller group of 6 players at most
Kaito doesn't wear his uniform at all, and instead was asked to don a brace with his dorm insignia to compensate

so hey you can wear that purple clothing for all I care the characters are assumed to be 3rd years
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Ammokkx
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@KOgaming Synchro and Xyz were chosen because they represent opposites in both colour schemes and ideals if we go by the anime. We also don't want to have too many dorms as, quite frankly, too many players is a pain to handle in such a narrow setting.

Rituals and fusion don't really fit anywhere into this and 4 neutral dorms would've honestly been a bit overkill anyway.

EDIT: By the way, your sig's broken.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by KOgaming
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Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by MidKnights
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Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by ThePlumbum
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Sorry it took so long guys. I happen to have spent the last half week knocked out by either the flu or something else viral and nasty. I'm (mostly) back in action now though, so normal service should be resumed shortly.

Leonard ("Leo") L. Leonard

Age
19

DARK Dorm would be my preference.

Appearance:
Leo looks like a ruffian, through and through. He’s tall (6’3”), lanky and skinny. His hair is long, just short of his shoulders, brown and usually tangled. His uniform is usually kept in rags as well, although not unwearable (yet) all of it has noticeable tears and damage he’s never bothered to repair or replace. He has deep blue eyes (which lose their colour when his psychic dueling is in effect) and usually has just a touch of facial hair that he won’t shave off as he should.

Note:
I couldn’t find anywhere this kinda fit in very well - at least not to explain in detail, but it’s an important pillar of the character. Leo is a Psychic Duelist, as they appear in 5Ds, meaning he is able to deal real, physical damage with duel monsters in proportion to the Life Point damage dealt to the player. He does have some grasp on his power, mind. He’s really not likely to seriously hurt anyone unless he invokes particularly powerful monsters (the only time he ever did cause a serious injury was the first time his power manifested. Then, he put a school bully in the hospital, mind) although he has before caused some minor cuts, bruises and burns still. This is part of why he’s at Harmonia - to help him better learn to temper and control his power. He does have a psychic inhibitor - his is a golden-looking earring that curls around the back of his earlobe. (Think like Akiza Izinski's hair accessory in 5Ds. If he takes it off, shit goes *down*.)

Personality:
Leo seems to be the only student at Harmonia who has the astounding ability to seem like he doesn’t even remotely want to be there. This is mostly a half-truth borne out of his homesickness, fear of his own power and ultimately the feeling that amongst Harmonia’s student populace, he feels as if he’s very much alone, even in the largest crowds.

Leo has been demonised by some of the other students - at least the ones who found out one way or another that he is a Psychic Duelist and to an extent he welcomes it, although he’s nowhere near as unfriendly as one might believe - he is unbelievably serious about his Dueling, given both his status and ability but he still tries his best to maintain an indifferent, chilled demeanour otherwise - lest the constant pressure drive him insane of course. He outwardly projects that he’s not interested in making friends, although the truth of it might not be the case.

He has had a few problems integrating into the local culture and has had a tough time learning the local language - although he’s just about competent as spoken, he’s hopeless at reading and writing.

History:
Leo had always been a strange child, but he could never really perceive why. Sure enough he went to an average school in his average hometown of Leicester, got average grades and played Duel Monsters with his friends and siblings, at which he was average. Just about the only abnormal thing about him was his name, which certainly didn’t help a young Leo not get bullied, but wasn’t even remotely enough to justify that feeling of ill belonging. When he got his answer, he immediately wished he had never learnt.

See, one particular brute at the school also played Duel Monsters and he was pretty damned good at it too. This boy, by the name of Alexander had a particular thing against Leo, if only because he wanted Leo’s rarest card, “Sophia, Goddess of Rebirth”. He hounded the young boy for weeks until he put the card up in an ante duel. All seemed normal for the Duel. Alexander pushed Leo into a corner with his abilities but he left too many special monsters on the field, which allowed Leo to summon his precious Sophia with his opponent’s cards. But that’s when it got weird. This was just a duel with cards on a table but.... Sophia appeared and more than that, she attacked Alexander. The result was not pretty. It was one school bully spending the next few weeks in the hospital, half of the school population traumatised from watching and property damage that the school had to claim was an act of a god. Once his powers surfaced, Leo lost his chance at a normal life - and with Duel Britannia, the pre-eminent dueling school in the UK, ill-equipped to handle a Psychic student, he had to board a plane halfway around the world to one that was.

He bade farewell to his family and friends, at least for now but he realised at least one positive of the situation. Once he did arrive at Harmonia, he flourished. Finding out about his power and having the responsibility to control it finally gave Leo the drive he had been lacking for as long as he had. During his first year at the Academy, he was still fairly regular, sometimes threatening the tops of the rankings but only barely - and with his grading continued into his second year, he couldn’t quite break the glass ceiling placed above him by his first year’s grades. But the third year carried a fresh start...

Hell & The Unknown

Leo brought his “Burning Abyss” deck with him, which are far more common in the West, although he has supplemented them now with a series of “Entities” - almost unheard of back home but far more common here in Japan.

Leo’s deck does not feature on raw power, given his distaste for causing harm with Psychic Dueling. Instead, he uses powerful effects like his Viruses to control the field and disable his opponents from getting to their own power cards, or to easily remove them from play once they have hit the field or even to use his opponent’s cards as nothing more than common material. He often presents significant obstacles for the opponent(s) to overcome and rarely fights back from behind himself, although he’s capable of doing so if he needs.


The 4 NPC's



Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Satoshi Kyou
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alright, review day has arrived.
from this point on there will be no waiting period before anything is judged or reviewed.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Ammokkx
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@Deluge There wasn't a chance in hell you were getting rejected. You have a clear theme with your characters and define your dorm with much more than just the decks they play.

@KOgaming Oookay, there's issues here. Almost all of them have to do with the way you're selling us the sheet. You keep referring back to the decks everyone has and what the underlying strategy and cards in it is, using lingo such as 'stun' and 'engines'. This feels overly IRL and puts such a heavy focus on the decks that it feels incredibly out of place. The justification for them being WIND dorm for having WIND decks is also incredibly lame and we'd like you to try a little harder than that. Build the dorm around your characters and not the decks they play, and for the love of the holy Sophia, try not to use so much lingo. We don't want to see those terms in the thread either, because they'd be incredibly out of place in dialogue and would get you funny looks.

You're on the right track with those last two NPCs, though. They have a lot more personality than the other three and show a clear bond of friendship between each other.

@MidKnights Really good effort in my opinion, but mixed in with a lot of flaws. We like your app a lot more than KO's for the wind dorm, but we can't accept you either for a few reasons. If you can fix them up and re-write some things, that'd get you a spot pretty easily. Taking it from the top;

1: While we certainly don't mind everyone in Wind being calm and collected, it might be best to re-write one or two of them to flare up on occasion and break the calm demeanor, showing how wind can slowly become vicious and calm down again soon after.

2: Remember, your NPC's and main character should be at the top of the dorm, not making their way up still. They're the best and represent almost the entire dorm in the competition for the top, so they should be a bigger deal than what you made them out to be. Re-write some backstory to have your main guy be the champion and have the other 4 right behind him as the top 2 through 5.

3: Your list of example cards is a bit too much of a catch-all. There isn't one defining strategy in it, you just listed everything under the sun except maybe taking control of the opponent's monsters. 'Field' and 'Equip' spells are also really broad and something any deck could have. Try not to list broad examples like this and narrow it down to 3 or so traits. Look at how Deluge, me, Satoshi and Plum handled it for a good reference on how to handle that.

@ThePlumbum Good sheet! Leonard and his crew are defnitely accepted for DARK, and having a psychic duelist could really shake things up. If there's one minor critique I'd give it's that there's a bit too much 'deck-talk' in, ironically, the deck section. It could be condensed to say something along the lines of: 'Leonard dislikes using raw power cards due to his abilities as a psychic duelist, so he prefers to use more defensive cards like Viruses to minimize the amount of damage he has to do to the opponent to win a duel.'

But, again, it's a minor critique and you've definitely earned your Dark dorm spot.

On that note, however, this only gives us two filled-out dorms. We'd like at least four to start the RP, and the two that haven't been filled out can be done so after the RP's start. Those who have been accepted can post their stuff over in the characters tab.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by KOgaming
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@Ammokkx

Use of the terms stun and engine are for lack of a better word; and if not for those words, because there is a school that exists to teach this, the theory for it must exist; thus there would still be terms referring to these things, and if not, I'm using them for the purpose of describing them out-of-character. If there is a more in-character way of determining these things, please feel free to tell me and I'll be sure to use your terminology. Not to mention, I've only used the words once.

Also, the character interactions aren't at all contrived. All five of them are rivals. I've established a pacing by including where each of the five characters were in their first year and why they were in the dorm for the first place. The first three were definitely influenced by one another and have their own character arcs. Just because the boys aren't friends with one another doesn't mean they don't have history together.

I also feel like your statement about them being in the wind dorm because they have wind decks is projection. They all happen to have wind decks because those decks happen to be able to fill the niche of the characters using them, it was those niches which filled out the position in the dorm hierarchy, and it was the relationship between the five characters which determined the position of all the five in the dorm hierarchy. Though I won't lie, I did only put symphonic warriors up top because I wanted to play the deck as a main character.

Edit: I also hadn't noticed Deluge had a character who used symphonic warriors. I guess that'd be a cool interaction.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Ammokkx
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@KOgaming Okay. I'm still going to ask you to change basically everything you contested me on. A line from your CS is literally 'Because they were all wind monsters, Hibiki was put into the Wind Dorm. Easy as that.' so it's easy to see why I'd say your justification for wind is wind. There's little shares among them that would make me think otherwise, especially with how you laid a hard focus on deck and strategy with the first three.

Also, GX had a duel academy too and you never saw those terminologies there either. This isn't to be taken as a real-life setting, KO, it's an extension of the (subbed) anime and we'd like to treat it as such.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by KOgaming
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So take into consideration that I did reason that having a wind deck is the reason they're in the wind dorm. What's wrong with that? In college when you're put into a dorm it's because of your major. If you wanted Harry Potter reasoning where dorms are selected by personality, maybe write that somewhere along with how they'd test such a thing.

I feel the lack of mention of theory was just out of circumstance since the school was just a setting. They did actually have lecture portions in which you do see theory being discussed though, except you also always see the main character, Jaden, not being overtly interested. In other words, it was an oversight in the script writing and wouldn't have to come up. We could have definitely had theory talk with Bastion though, who wrote the stuff all over his wall. Though again, if you want me to use different words, just tell me what you need me to use that fits in the setting. I won't contest that.

Though if you just don't want me here, just tell it to me straight. No need to get passive aggressive.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Ammokkx
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@KOgaming And what I'm saying is that you'll have to change 'wind because wind', have more focus on the characters and their personalities and use less lingo if you want to be in. It's not about me wanting or not wanting you here, it's about you making a fitting CS for the setting.

But yes, I don't want you here if you're going to refuse fixing your stuff.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Ammokkx
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@MidKnights has DM'd me saying his sheet has been updated and Sat's given the o-kay to accept him. Yute is now the representative for the wind dorm.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by KOgaming
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There is a focus on the character's personalities. They all have distinct personalities and relationship with one another. Interspersing this with card game jargon doesn't detract from this, and in fact, I think would be far better than divorcing card games and the people who play them.

Why wouldn't a person more interested in music than playing cards use a deck focused on musical instruments? Why wouldn't an ascetic wise beyond his years not use a deck with an aesthetic of hermit yokai (though I did consider giving him Shinobirds, I thought Yosenju made more sense with their play style and his personality). Why wouldn't a hotblooded rival with the need for speed use a deck where all its monsters rode motorcycles? Just because their decks are consistently the same attribute and because I mention the card's strategies doesn't mean I didn't put any effort into thinking up their personalities.

So maybe the reasoning is wind because wind. But it's also wind because of who these people are.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Satoshi Kyou
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@KOgamingalright enough is enough, time for me to speak up...

Okay the intend of this rp is to focus on the Character and let the game just be part of the excitement, hence the fully scripted nature of the duels

I took a look at your characters and I found my own problems here.

For one... What is Hibiki's personality? like seriously is he a genius who doesn't care about others? is he simply a duelist? what is he? all I read in the personality segment were things I wouldn't even call part of a personality.
heck, I checked all of them and I didn't find a good character in any of them other than the final 2. I had trouble finding character since I was trying to skip most game talk I see in the sheets because I don't care about the game in this RP it is not duel focused despite the way the academy works

also, Ammo isn't in the right to kick you out even if he doesn't want you here. I am the one who gets the final say after all

Also, minor thing which is likely a typo. 4 years? it is really just 2 years not 3 it should be 2 years and starting a third

And yes Sure they can be in wind because they have wind decks but they don't HAVE to have wind decks heck Kaito has a Pendulum deck while he is in the Xyz Dorm with no hint of Xyz in his deck
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by KOgaming
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That's what I've been saying though. The five just happened to be using wind decks.

And Hibiki does have a personality. I described him, in brief, that he was analytical and socially awkward. He was modeled after Spock, but obviously has some differences, like not going into heat every once in a while.

The four years thing though was an oversight on my part. I hadn't caught anything that noted it was a shorter school time because as an American, I'm used to high school being 4 years.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Satoshi Kyou
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@KOgaming

Here is the thing though i would love to see personality to show why they are in wind not just oh hey he runs a wind deck just put him in wind, i will tell you this due to the way you described him, the teachers would put your top 3 in Light for their highly skilled nature and personality rather than wind just because they have wind decks and the latter 2 would fit just fine in wind

personality and deck combined determine where they go. though even though your top 3 use a wind deck they are likely more home in Light rather than wind
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Ammokkx
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Not that they can be in wind to begin with, considering we just accepted our WIND representative.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by KOgaming
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Alright. I took the card-game-talk out of their personalities. Hopefully that's sufficient.

Oh. Well, if I'm still interested in the next two days I'll probably work on a different sheet then. Fortunately for me, I had a back up.
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