[center][h3]The gist of this post is I'm wondering if anyone here has lost someone that was pivotal to there enjoyment of The Guild and if so how they moved on and managed to continue rping.[/h3][/center]

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I'm posting because this is obviously something I'm currently dealing with and I don't know how to get through it. Really this post is kind of a desperate last grasp at trying to find some way to continue roleplaying on here because I do love this site and have really fond memories. My loss really isn't recent. My best friend, Orchestratic, and the person who introduced me to forum roleplaying, passed away 2 and half years ago this week but ever since his death I've found it near impossible to stay on here without dipping into bouts of depression. See other than him I didn't really have friends on here, my brother played but he has pretty much abandoned ship since we lost our friend. So now I'm pretty much alone on here and I don't have anyone to share the joys of roleplaying with.

See it didn't really matter if Orch and I were in the same game or not a lot of our enjoyment from roleplaying came from being able to talk about and discuss the characters and worlds we were playing in. We both kept up with each other's games and it was our conversations that breathed life into our characters and was a big drive in the roleplaying itself. Now even though he was a big part of forum roleplaying for me I [i]did[/i] find enjoyment in the it separately from him and occasionally I can still tap into that. It's just my enjoyment from roleplaying comes and goes without much warning and when I'm not enjoying it this site is actually painful to be on. The thing is I don't want to lose this style of roleplaying, or this site but I don't know how to go about being on here when sometimes it literally causes me to breakdown and cry. 

Anyway I'm only asking now because it's going on three years and I don't want to lose the guild, both because I really do enjoy it and because it's a very real connection to my deceased friend so if anyone has any advice or even their own stories to share I'd greatly appreciate it.


EDIT: for clarification going forward Orchestratic was my irl best friend, he just also happened to be my gateway into forum roleplay.