The butterflies fluttering in Sabine's stomach turned into a churning swarm of crawling roaches as the time approached for her speech. The feelings were not helped by the great joy and celebration Meesei put into recounting her adversities. Memories she still loathed and feared were passed off as some epic of endurance, like she had some kind of choice. She could have given up, true, but it never felt like a choice. It never felt like a challenge she chose to accept. By the time Meesei motioned for Sabine to stand and speak, she rose like a ghost, despondent and pale.

Still, the crowd waited. She turned her eyes up to them and let her mouth hang open for a quiet moment. She squeezed the staff in her hands. Somehow, the vast reserves of magical power offered her less comfort in front of the waiting faces than it did against a dragon or a violent gang of Clavicus Vile's cultists.

She started with what she worried everyone was paying attention to.

"I know..." The echo of the enchantments amplifying her voice briefly put her off. She spoke slowly, gaining confidence as she went. "...I know many here, perhaps everyone here, has lost someone close to them in this war. I know many here would rather have seen Rhajul and the dragon in switched places; the dragon being under us and Do'rhajul's head on a metal plate. I lost people as well. He killed friends. He maimed others, someone I loved. He almost killed Meesei personally. I hated him for it."

She glanced at Meesei for reassurance before continuing.

"And when I was chained to a tree...When..." She took a breath. "When I was...hurt...by Do'rhajul's team. Rhajul and his one friend were the only ones who did not take part. But I still hated him. The reason I kept him alive was not only because he gave up on life after learning the lies he had been told about us. It was not only because he felt so guilty I had to talk him out of him wanting me to kill him to give him peace..."

Sabine trailed off. She carefully raised her staff over her head to show the crowd. "This is the Staff of Magnus. It held such power when I took it from enemy hands that I could have encased them all in a tomb of solid ice and watch them suffocate. I could have frozen all their blood and made their veins explode into their lungs, their eyes, their bones...I could have peeled them apart, layer by layer, in such fine pieces that their pain would have been their only conscious thought before their slow deaths. I almost did it." Sabine's jaw opened and shut as she tried to stay composed. "But right before I did, I saw that they were just as...afraid as I was just before. Tied to the tree. At their mercy. I was so wrathful that I could feel my beast spirit [i]cowering[/i] from me! I...was a monster. The same monster that has made us ostracised as lycans in the first place. Consumed by hate. Consumed by hurt. There was no hunt to it. No sport or strength. Just hate. But I said no."

She let one end of the end of the staff clack on the ground defiantly. "I decided I would not cause any more pain in this war. I would not create more monsters. I would not kill them. I did not kill them." She looked with determination at Do'rhajul. "I cannot fix Rhajul's guilt. I cannot fix the pain and revenge everyone wants. But I know Rhajul can be useful, and I refuse to let him die wastefully."

Sabine walked out from in front of her seat and stood in front of Do'rhajul. "He is pledged to me. We have formed a new pack and I am his alpha. All who wish him harm must surmount me first. I do not wish to kill anymore, but I am prepared if I must." Sabine clenched her jaw as her heart raced. She could not even look the crowd in the eyes anymore. "If you do not believe me," she said in her nervous, shivering voice. "You can see the proof of my capabilities for yourselves." She pointed to the dragon head without looking at it.

Finally, Sabine lowered her voice. "I want to stop Vile. I want us to be at peace for once in our lives. That is all I wanted to say."

She uneasily peered her eyes up to keep an eye out for any objections. She half-expected Ri'kalesh and anyone from a decimated or destroyed clan to get up and charge her at once. She was prepared to defend herself. The shame of putting Meesei's more hopeful mood into the dirt was not even in her mind in that moment.