[quote=@Lmpkio] Makes sense if they are opponents. But alas, I believe I made the necessary changes to my character. I think he's ready. :D [/quote] I'll review him once more when the thread goes up in a few hours; don't forget to get your approval from all three of us as well. If all of us see nothing wrong, you can post it in the character sheet section. [quote=@Dead Cruiser] [@Savo] Makoto is from the backwoods of Japan, so it's wouldn't think it's unreasonable that she hadn't encountered a nomad before. Or perhaps she has, but they made have been weak or scummy nomads (what respectable warrior would pick a fight with a high school girl?), that she managed to surprise or overwhelm. I'm not sure how you expect me to revise it, given that your sole criticism seems to be how strong she is. I've told you exactly how strong she is: quite strong in some areas, but generally middling overall. She's a rushdown fighter that mundane humans don't stand a chance against, but she lacks technique, forethought, and endurance when fighting nomads. [/quote] I'm just going to condense this all into a hider. [hider]For the first paragraph, didn't your own backstory state that she always was the one who tried to pick a fight with others? Eh, whatever, that isn't important. What's more important is the next paragraph in which you talk about my criticism over her being strong. You have described her as having overwhelming offense of unmatched speed and devastating power and have stated her defense is almost impossible. The first special attack I've seen is described as being enough to take out her opponents with a single punch. With it being compared to a cannon ball punch from a battle ship. I'm pretty sure none of the current characters, much less can pull off something like that. While you could argue against me saying that I'm irked that she doesn't have similar power to other characters, she has unmatched speed as stated by you. So basically, she'll most likely one hit KO most if not all characters. Has anyone I listed so far as examples have the ability to stand up to her? But I digress. Lets look at Black Hole. She and another character have the same attack. What does this have to do with anything? It's better to explain after they are both compared side by side. [u]■ Black Hole [/u] [indent]Verga hurls a projectile of crackling gravity, then detonates it at will. When a Black Hole detonates, anything loose within ten feet is sucked towards it and dealt crushing gravity damage. Once they reach the center, the target immediately goes free. However, Verga is also affected by this attack, and has to time the Black Hole to ignite while she herself is out of range. If succesfull, it can interrupt combos and create an enormous hole in an enemy's tempo, opening them up to further attacks. Black Hole has one shot per hour.[/indent] [indent][u]■ Black Hole[/u] [indent]By focusing all of her strength into her grip, Makoto can create a localized distortion in gravity. Enemies that try to escape her are sucked back in toward her, and projectiles aimed at her allies are diverted to bounce off against her harmlessly.[/indent][/indent] There's quite a large difference between each one. One deals damage, one drags people close to her. However, the even bigger difference is that for the former, the user can also get screwed over by it in the process and can use it only once per hour. Why? Because she's trying to supplement herself with stronger and powerful attacks to make up for her slowly decreasing ki and other things I won't get into detail that revolve around her pride. But once more, I digress. One move can be use as much as possible and one move has to be carefully used. Moreover, the strength of the attacks can also tell us a bit about the strength of the user as well. Verga, the character I mentioned, while is strong, has a limited amount of times she can use this powerful ability. While she isn't mine, I assume this is sort of taxing and plays into why she can only use it per hour. Makoto's fist is so strong that when she puts all her strength into her grip, she can create a localized distortion in gravity that drags enemies and projectiles towards her. Moreover, projectiles bounce [i]harmlessly[/i] off her. Ok, so projectiles probably aren't going to do jack against her I'm guessing. She has the strength to not only pull people towards her by clenching her fist really hard, but she will no sell projectiles. Which I can understand, but since I'm taking that to be a general thing for all projectiles since nothing has been stated otherwise... Some moves she has because shes strong... lets just skip to the super moves. Black Meteor Crusher and Black Star Destroyer. Lets start with the first. Her fist has the power to split Mt. Fuji in half. By that standard, not a whole lot of Nomads are going to survive against her, let alone probably be able to dodge that. If anything, she'll probably kill most of the cast inadvertently... and moreover I'm pretty sure what I consider as the "boss" characters don't even have that kind of strength to pull off. And now, the Black Star Destroyer... she claims if misdirected could destroy the earth. By that standard, she is above every single fighter that will be posted, including most, if not all of the boss characters from the very start. You said she claims it could and considering that she almost split Mt. Fuji in half as described, as well as said hopefully, I'm going to take it word for word since there has not been a single thing to make me think that she might be anything less short of the best fighter on the planet from the very start. You made a point saying she lacks technique, foresight, and endurance when fighting other nomads. However, you have also said she is a rushdown. Rushdowns are characters are characters who get in close fast... but usually don't have great defense. She can no sell any sort of projectiles as far as I know and you've described her defense as impossible. At her strongest, she can obliterate the earth possibly. You may say that others can wear her out in battle through dodging, deflecting, or enduring the strike. Here are your own words. [quote=@Dead Cruiser]In battle, Makoto exerts such an overwhelming offense of unmatchable speed and devastating power, that defense is almost impossible.[/quote] Dodging or deflecting? If she has unmatchable speed and strength, how might someone be able to deflect? Enduring isn't exactly a great option either. [quote=@Dead Cruiser]Given that she has only rarely had a battle that lasts longer than a single strike, Makoto is completely oblivious to this weakness.[/quote] All of her battles that haven't been against her grandfather haven't exactly lasted longer than a single strike. You claimed that she probably fought against weak or scummy nomads who picked a fight with her if there were any nomads in the city. You have said that mundane humans don't stand a chance against her. I raise the claim that most, if not all nomads can stand a chance against her. She almost hit so hard that she split a mountain in half. Is it even possible for any of the listed three characters in the interest check even stand up against her? If so, how? If you say they could deflect, dodge, or endure, you've already said that her speed is unmatchable, her defense is impossible, and her strength is devastating. The thing I want you to revise is her fighting style, move set, and weakness to make it so she is on par with other nomads, so that it isn't so one-sided in my eyes. She's staying rejected on the grounds that she, just in general is too powerful for any "boss" character or normal character to be deemed nothing more than possibly a fly to her. Her weaknesses mean nothing when she has the ability to one shot a regular nomad. This is my final decision. Foresight, endurance, and technique don't matter when she can no sell their attacks and defeat them in one or maybe two strikes due to being overwhelmingly swift and strong. Rework her to make her not so overbearingly strong with her attacks, defense, and speed, and post her in the thread that's coming up.[/hider] [hr] With that said, [@Valor], [@Bartimaeus], and [@A Lowly Wretch]. I have to apologize that I haven't gotten around to setting up my review of your characters. I was hoping to do it before completely setting up the main ooc thread, but as it turns out that might not happen since the main thread is coming up soon. Please post your complete character sheets there.