[@AngelofOctober] [hider=response]Hmm. Perhaps. I gave indications that she was upset and under pressure, and Nev had Edric display obvious concern that became uncertainty when dealing with the other half of a shaky relationship. The best choice here would probably be to lay groundwork ahead of that scene -- ah, the difficulties of limited space. I suppose cutting away the mask of Leia's view of Edric would give the reader more insight as well. That worked in the moment but less so as a story. I am going to say that just because it's not clear what emotion Edric feels to Leia should not negate the fact that he's obviously feeling something, and strongly. Betrayed is a good possibility (why would he be so worked up if he wasn't? Also his words, asking if she lied). Anger is possible, either at her or at others -- the circumstances that landed her there. I'm coming up dry on other possibilities, but I am surprised that Leia's failure to identify what he feels removes all the emotion from the scene. This could be a matter of stylistic preference and interpretation. However they were not the only relationship being shown; in fact they were one of two -- possibly three or four, depending on how much you picked up about Illiachen the sword and how you count the Edric/Duncan plus Amune grouping. Edric/Leia is a contrast to the other dynamics. They trust and count on [i]despite[/i] certain events, and while they do work together well and there is loyalty there, it's a very different kind. *scratches head* There's a lot of things I'd like to do differently with the piece. Drawing more direct parallels would be one, I think. A clearer comparison would do a lot. I saw a lot of flexibility in this prompt and wanted to play with it. I might have pushed the story to include more than we really had the time to focus on.[/hider]