Brendon, also, went to great lengths to pretend that he didn’t feel as strongly about Ryan as he really did- or at least, strongly in s certain way. They were still pretty much best friends, but it felt natural, not like Brendon had just barged in and taken places. He was too lovable for people to complain that much when Ryan suddenly decided the best person to spend time with was him. This was good, of course- they worked well together, had a strange, complimentary dynamic- but it just meant Brendon had to strive to give the impression at Ryan’s eyes [i]didn’t[/i] make his insides melt a little, that the tiniest little brush felt electric, that his laugh didn’t trigger a rush of intense affection every time. This wasn’t just friendship he was feeling, Brendon had never bothered denying it. He just had to keep his feeling under lock and key until they went away on their own- though, the more time it took, the less Brendon was thinking it was just some regular crush. This he avoided addressing completely. It was too daunting. 

So was being so close to his fellow bandmate- the arm around his waist shouldn’t have made him so on edge but so blissfully relaxed at the same time, and pressing his side against Ryan’s shouldn’t have made him shiver. He didn’t care, though, not really, because he was warm, and comfortable, and about as close as he could be without it seeming like something else was going on. Though he supposed they were past that point, unless Brendon had misread the situation so wrongly. He didn’t want to dwell on this, though, and just moved on to lighthearted joking, even if the subtext was still rampant through the tamest words he could possibly conjure. Amusement lilted his voice, and he figured the best way to hide was in plain sight- so he addressed it head-on, much to Ryan’s sudden surprise. ‘Flirting’ probably wasn’t the right word to use, but it required no clarification. Brendon still hadn’t moved his head from his bandmate’s shoulder, growing too comfortable. [i]You noticed?[/i] Laughing, he nudged Ryan, mischievousness glinting in his eyes and his eyebrows raising as he pretended to consider the question, even if he already knew the answer. Both of them did. [b]“The next time you try to undress me with your eyes, give me a shout and I’ll make your life easier.”[/b]  

That was kind of dubious. At this point, Brendon didn’t even know whether he was kidding or not and just laughed breathlessly again, hoping to dispel the subject quickly before he thought about it too long and hard. [i]Dumb question, anyway. The reasons ‘why’ are pretty obvious.[/i] Swiftly, his brief moments of confidence and general flirtatiousness faltered, and he felt his face flush, his cheekbones dusted pink as he failed to hold back an uncharacteristically shy smile. God, nobody could do this to him except Ryan, and it was getting annoying. [b]“Enlighten me,”[/b] He challenged, then thought better of it because this could spell an end to all the composure he (thought) he had. [b]“Actually, no. My ego is already too inflated. I hardly fit in the cabin anymore.”[/b] Ryan was still laughing, and he felt like kissing him. Again. The urge was strong and he had to physically keep himself back from ruining whatever it was they already had.

Luckily, the subject was changed and and Brendon could get Ryan talking about music and lyrics for long enough that they both forgot the rather tense conversation they had been having. With the mention of a song came Ryan’s immediate enthusiasm- it was endearing- and also the opportunity to escape the situation. [i]It doesn’t sound dumb. I really like it.[/i] [b]“Haven’t heard it yet, don’t get your hopes up.”[/b] [i]I never know what I want to write, honestly. It’ll start out as one song, then I realize that I’ve been writing about two different subjects, and suddenly I’ve got two new songs in progress rather than one.”[/i] Instantly, [i]Camisado[/i] and [i]Nails for Breakfast[/i] were the songs he linked that to- same theme, different aspects. Brendon kind of desperately wanted the details, if only so he could understand the songs better, and more importantly, understand Ryan. He was still a very enclosed person. Brendon wanted to know everything Ryan was willing to share, even if it took forever to fully gain his trust.

[i]Stream of consciousness. But- I don’t think you’ll have a problem writing lyrics, considering you have a natural talent for everything else musical.[/i] He almost scoffed doubtfully.  It had never been his strong suit, even if he didn’t particularly want to admit it was a weakness. [i]What do you have so far?[/i] Brendon considered singing to him for a second, then reluctantly moved away to reach down and pick up his notebook, discarded in the pebbles. He handed it over, already missing his body heat, and flicked it to the right page before dropping his hands into his lap.