With that next little quip, Brendon was only half-joking; even though he tried to seem even a little lighthearted about it, when he saw that Ryan looked like a deer caught in headlights and replied with a semi-serious sounding [i]I’ll keep it in mind,[/i] He felt himself heat up, suddenly even more on board than he’d been when he had been the one to suggest it. Enamoured, and now kind of touch-starved even if he was sitting right next to Ryan with no empty space between them, different kinds of thoughts were in his head and he had to shake himself out of his daze, even if he moved a hand to Ryan’s side and curled it around, and turned his head a little further into his shoulder. [b]“You can hold me to that.”[/b] He grinned, ignoring the next thought in his mind, which was ‘you can hold me against anything you want’. He had no idea what had gotten into him and he was a little stunned by his own sudden change of airs, but he quickly managed to regulate his feelings and just keep smiling into his shoulder, the hand curled around Ryan’s waist not moving.

Suddenly, Ryan’s gentle grip of his side tightened a little, and he was a little startled, but then he relaxed, figuring he could definitely get used to this. He was at risk of being complimented more- usually a blessing Brendon accepted and even encouraged, but from Ryan they just made him flush, and nobody had done that to him before. Brendon didn’t recognise the parts of him that Ryan brought out- bravado gone, a sort of shyness in its place, endearingly flustered. To prevent this, he stopped Ryan before he could start, deciding that the physical contact alone was pushing him over the line he tried desperately not to cross. Even if he wanted to. The unknowns were just too many and the potential problems caused were too great- he doubted Jon and Spencer would forigive if him he joined their band, usurped the lead singer, hooked up with said lead singer (or anything more serious), and then cause problems by upsetting the dynamic. 

He reminded himself that songwriting had been the purpose of this trip, not to have some alone time with his new best friend. To keep himself on track, he handed the notebook over, shifting away slightly just so he could properly read Ryan’s expression. [b]”Before you judge me too harshly, remember I’m a beginner,”[/b] He smiled, though he was serious. Ryan’s opinion meant a lot to him, so he waited with bated breath, even if his absent thoughts were [i]Wow, he looks good in my glasses.[/i] Then, ryan was smiling, and his heart swelled with hope. Was this approval, or amusement? [i]Brendon.[/i] He was jolted out of his thoughts by the reminder that he really liked his name when Ryan said it. Yeah, he was in way too deep. [i]This is amazing. I can’t believe you were so worried, I mean...[/i] His eyebrows raised, and he shrugged to play it off, again caught off guard by the genuity of Ryan’s words. [b]”Thank you,”[/b] He said in a soft voice, again [i]really[/i] swayed by the urge to kiss him. Maybe he was a little lovesick.

Lovesick. That word hadn’t crossed his mind before, nor had the word ‘love’- well, that was wrong, he knew he loved Ryan, but he loved Spencer and Jon, too. This was different. He had shocked himself by using it, and barely heard what Ryan said next. [i]It’s beautiful.[/i] Brendon had to physically stop himself from being cliché with a little smile. [i]I can hear you in the words already.[/i] [b]”I’d sing a little for you, but my voice is a little rusty. Can’t give a bad impression, my job is at stake here.”[/b] He was smiling, and took the journal back, flicking through it absently and putting it back down, then realising that the sun was beginning to properly set, the sky stained orange and pink and the rain picking up just a little. He didn’t care. [b]“Thank you, Ry.”[/b] He wanted to go back to their original position without seeming too desperate, so he moved forwards and reached out as if to take his glasses back- but instead of remaining there and resting his head back on his shoulder like his plan was, his hand moved to rest at the side of his jaw, and without even thinking it through but having also thought about it for a long time, he leaned in to kiss him, waiting for a few moments before pulling back, his breath caught in his throat. He was speaking then, his voice gentle and anxious but steady in his surety. [b]“I think I’m in love with you.”[/b]