As much as Brendon could stand the attention and just as well play off of it, it seemed like people were taken aback by his personality. The laid-back demeanor of the rest of the group was what people were used to, what they expected based on the small amount of publicity Panic had gotten thus far. Brendon, though, changed the game entirely - at first. When people commented more and more on his attitude and his hyperactivity and his general character, it seemed at first that Brendon could nod along and attest to his own behavior; then as time went on every time someone innocently 'noticed' him it sounded more like they were calling him out on his personality, something out of his control. 

Ryan, kind of selfish when it came time to control themselves in the face of cameras and interviewers, hadn't even realised this, didn't consider that maybe all of it could bother Brendon. After all, once he'd initially come to terms with the fact that Brendon was a natural entertainer, he officially decided not to worry about him ever in regards to how attention would affect him. In retrospect, though, of course that many people commenting on the way that he acted would get to him - and of course he would do something to try to change it. The first day was normal, Brendon acting how he would usually, livening up the group and making everyone way more interesting than they actually were, naturally. The second day, though - he was no longer someone Ryan immediately looked to for help. Something was up, and now Ryan felt like he had to keep an eye on Brendon, make sure he was still with them both mentally and physically.

It was hard to describe. He just... looked like he wasn't fully there, like he'd checked out but left everyone with his shell so things looked normal. When interviewers directed questions to him, Ryan stepped in to answer, looking a little rude in the process but for a good cause. When Brendon was able to get a word in, it was slow, not elaborate. Even his movements were dead, slightly uncoordinated if he didn't put a tremendous amount of focus into it. Spencer and Jon seemed to pick it up, too, and they were barely attentive, so it must've been a big deal. The worst part was that Ryan had the smallest suspicion that maybe this wasn't [i]just[/i] Brendon trying to act calmer - if he was doing it consciously, he would run out of energy to contain himself, wouldn't he? After a while he would have gone back to normal without meaning to. For the entire day, though, it seemed like he was trying to pick himself up, or at least hold himself together. Something was very wrong with this picture.

In an effort to feel normal, when they got back, he started absent conversation; Brendon was having none of it. It looked like he was sleepwalking. Dramatically enough, it hurt to watch. Miraculously, though, Brendon suddenly moved towards him rather than just forward, and Ryan grinned at him spontaneously, catching him once he'd climbed over. Ryan wrapped his arms around Brendon's waist, pulling him close when they kissed and effortlessly following the guidance of Brendon's hand in his hair. It started off fine, almost normal but like he was trying for it, and gradually Brendon seemed to lose the will. Ryan chased his lips for a second before faltering, gaze flickering over his features to try and deduce what exactly was going on for the umpteenth time. [i]Sorry. I feel like- shit.[/i] [b]"I know,"[/b] he said instantly, face unchanging. One of his hands drifted up to trace his cheek, a vague attempt at being comforting, but mostly he was still stuck in his thoughts.

Without totally disconnecting, Ryan shifted back a little further, pulling them both until he was sitting straighter and more attentive. [b]"What's different? Did something happen?"[/b] If something was going on at home or if he had a problem with the band, he'd probably have said something, but. Ryan didn't think that was even it. Physically Brendon even seemed different, his pupils slightly heavier and his skin paler now that Ryan was up close and in better lighting to see it. To be fair he had barely touched any food or water all day and that could've been part of it - but. These were symptoms of plenty unsavory things Ryan didn't really even want to consider. He may as well listen before jumping to assumptions.