[center][h1][color=snow]Alessa[/color][color=red]&[/color][color=pink]Lillian[/color][/h1] [h3] Forming Bonds [/h3][/center] [hr] [Hider=Long Post Is Long] It had been a week since the meeting. The debriefing. A week of daily therapy, a week of recovery. Lillian sighed. Her leg was still bandaged, but not for much longer. Her side had healed, but scarred, and she still had a faint bruise from the.... She shook her head, looking up at the ceiling above her. Plain. Boring. Bright. With another soft sigh she kicked her legs lightly, toes scraping against the floor briefly with each swing. She was sitting in a hallway at the HQ, having just recently finished today's session herself. Inside she was a mixture of emotions, and being honest she wasn't sure what to feel about a lot of things anymore. [Color=pink]"Can't a girl get an easy break?"[/color] she muttered. Alessa was, for once, distressingly tired. She'd been noted as having a tendency to overwork herself in the past already, but as of late, she'd found that she'd barely been able to get to sleep at all. That, she felt, wasn't surprising, not when it felt like half her waking thoughts revolved around what had happened a week ago. Not when she'd woken up in the middle of the very first night after the fact to find she'd set her bedroom on fire. She'd had a lot of trouble sleeping since then, and refused to sleep at her foster family's house at all. No permanent damage had been done to anything, or anyone, in part due to her own heat-absorption power, but the question kept passing through her mind: what if she had killed or injured somebody? What if she lost control again, the way she had at the warehouse, and wound up burning somebody to death in her sleep, or giving them cancer or radiation poisoning, or setting another building on fire, or or or? There were too many variables, too many possible ways that she could destroy a person as a result of her newly-formed night terrors, so she simply tried to avoid falling asleep until she couldn't stay awake any longer. She therefore wasn't in the most aware state when she headed up to the therapist's office that day, a few minutes before her session was due to start, and wound up nearly tripping over Lillian on the floor. 'S-sorry,' Alessa mumbled, only half-registering her teammate's identity for a moment before snapping back to proper awareness. 'Oh, um. Hey, Lily. You doing okay?' she asked gently, hovering between leaning up against the wall and sliding down to sit next to the girl. If Alessa was suffering, then Lillian was suffering two-fold - she'd had practically the same experience, but wore a big bruise on her side to boot, necessitating physical recovery on top of mental. Alessa's heart broke for the dinosaur girl, and she had been visiting her and the rest of the Wards relatively often, if only because she'd give herself something positive to do by supporting their own recoveries. Lillian's eyes roamed slowly towards Alessa's before focusing. Making eye contact, she held the gaze before a red flush spread across her face and she looked down. [Color=pink]"Oh, uhm, heyyyyyyy...."[/color] she said with a small shake in her voice. [Color=pink]"I'm doing fantastic. Great. Just amay-"[/color] she coughed, wrapping her arms around her knees. [Color=pink]"Honestly, I'm just confused and lonely. Could we - errrr - would you want to maybe get lunch when you're done?"[/color] 'You and me both,' Alessa agreed grimly. 'Everything's been a bit tough sin-' Nonononono, don't talk about that. The therapist specifically said not to do that. To stop you reminding yourself nonono ducks, think about ducks, or other cute things. Puppies, sure. 'I'd love to grab lunch, yeah,' she eventually decided. 'I need to interact with you guys more anyway. I feel like I've been pushing myself into a leadership role more and more, when I should try to be a friend, too. Anywhere in mind?' Lillian visibly brightened, practically bouncing in place with enthusiasm. [Color=pink]"There's this really nice little sandwich place really close. It's like a block away if you take a right out the front doors. Gor-in-gene-knees? I - I think that's how you say it?"[/color] Jumping up, Lillian pushed a few stray strands of hair out of her eyes before continuing. [Color=pink]"I'll wait for you outside, okay?"[/color] Alessa smiled at Lillian's enthusiasm - she knew theplace the dino-girl was referring to, and she'd had a couple of pretty good sandwiches and toasties there. Perhaps this'd be useful for both of them, at the end of the day. 'Sounds good,' she replied, patting Lillian on the shoulder as she in turn stood back up. 'I'll see you then!' And with that, she continued on her way to the therapist's office. This, she felt, was going to be a long discussion. [hr] She left the HQ feeling... not necessarily better, but more informed. Most notably, she'd been given a couple of techniques to help her try and destress, and had been heavily chided about her excessive lack of sleep. From now on, she was to get a full eight hours of sleep each and every night if she could help it, even if it'd cut into her work and patrolling, doctor's orders. That stung, and whilst there was logic behind it, she really didn't want to comply. How could she stop crime if she was asleep, after all? Her being asleep meant lives lost, surely. Still, she'd had something to look forward to. She smiled as she saw Lillian outside, waving as she greeted her. 'You ready to grab some sandwiches, Lillian?' she asked, already considering what might be worth grabbing. The ham and cucumber sandwiches were alright, but since this wasn't just a light meal, it'd probably make sense to grab something a bit heavier... well, there'd be a menu. [color=pink]"Yeah, let's get going, it's getting cold again."[/color] Lillian seemed cheery enough, a slight skip to her step as she led the way. [Color=pink]"I'm so happy it's a pretty day, though. It's nice to see some sun shine."[/color] The building itself seemed rather stereotypical of an 'Italian joint', proudly colored with the Italian flag hung in the front display window. Once inside, Lillian dropped back, letting Alessa go first. 'Yeah, the weather's always interesting here,' Alessa considered as she followed after Lillian, more subdued than her teammate. 'I don't know why, but... it always seems to change on a dime. I think we'll be walking back to the HQ in rain or something.' Once they got to the place, Alessa found herself entering before Lillian, and took a seat at a table for two, complete with menus already laid out for whoever sat there. Their service was always pretty good like that, she'd found, with a lot of foresight. Now, what to get, what to get... 'Any idea of what you might like, Lily?' she asked, curious as to what she might prefer. She'd never really eaten with her other teammates before, actually- well, a fair number of them, at least. Certainly not the newer ones, at any rate. [color=pink]"I normally just get the turkey sandwich with some veggies on the side,"[/color] Lillian replied quietly, flipping through the menu much too fast to actually read anything. [Color=pink]"Uhm, what about you?"[/color] She'd put her hair down upon entry, suddenly remembering the bruise on her neck and face. That wouldn't do to be seen. Then people would ask questions, and questions meant thinking about the past, and that meant - She clenched the table hard enough to turn her knuckles white, forcing a smile back into her face. This was supposed to be a nice lunch. She couldn't mess it up. She [I]couldn't.[/I] 'Hmm...' Alessa thought for a moment, not sure why Lillian suddenly had her hair down, but nonetheless a bit too tired and preoccupied to consider it further. There was always such a selection at any restaurant that sometimes she had a hard time choosing... but, she eventually made a choice. 'I'm gonna go with the BLT, but add guacamole to it,' she explained with an unnecessary grin, 'to turn it into an LGBT. Aheh... heheheheh. Ahem. Sorry, bad joke.' She was a bit too tired to be making jokes, frankly. There were serious matters to consider. No there weren't. Puppies, Alessa, puppies... Lillian giggled at the joke, relaxing as she breathed. [Color=pink]"Heh, I guess I can add funny to the list,"[/color] she muttered, mostly to herself, as someone came for their order. As they walked away, she looked back across the table with her head leaning on a palm. [Color=pink]"Uhm, if you don't mind.... I was wondering if we could maybe talk about ourselves? Get to know the real us better?"[/color] What had Lillian said just now? Alessa had missed it. Eh, it was probably nothing, no need to worry. As for talking about themselves... 'Sure thing,' Alessa nodded, mimicking Lillian's pose on the grounds of comfort. 'As far as I go, I'm sure you've noticed that I head off to krav maga sessions every week. I'm not the greatest at it, I only started a year ago, but for a martial art that's supposedly intended to be lethal, there's a lot of non-lethal holds and, uh, pre-kill positions you can pull off with it. Of course I'd never actually KILL anyone with it,' she reassured the girl, only to trail off as the warehouse nonoNO puppies, come on, think about something else. Move on, move on. 'Uh, but, uh, it's surprising how compliant people can get when they think they're about to die, you know? Er, morbidly so, honestly. Sometimes I wonder if a non-lethal martial art would've been more appropriate, like judo, or something.' Was she blathering? She was, wasn't she? She ought to let Lillian say something before she got carried away. Lillian smiled gently, etching circles into the tablecloth. [Color=pink]"I've learned that there is no changing the past, simply how you are affected by it. Taking Krav Maga over Judo is a testimony to your dedication to protecting others, I think. You don't have to kill anyone, but you can still defend yourself and others."[/color] She tapped the table with a nail, frowning. [Color=pink]"I worry a lot, honestly. Because there's people out there with Kill Orders on their head. There's never time for anything it feels like. So what happens if you're on a situation where you have to kill? What do you do when there's no proper win to the situation? You can't decide now because you just don't know in the end. But I'm useless if I'm human, other than like a scout, and...."[/color] she hesitated, picking at a defect in the cloth. [Color=pink]"Could I - do you think I'd be able to learn too? I don't want to be a targ...."[/color] she trailed off as the memory of the collision burst into her head, causing her to shudder. Well, Lily had certainly made a good point. With krav maga, she had more control over how much damage she did than with a lot of other martial arts, judo included - and occasionally, yes, she would have to actively kill somebody who she couldn't simply injure with her power, which would make krav maga a much appreciated skill. All in all, Alessa couldn't help but nod along to Lillian's tune. Then she asked if she might be able to learn too. And... and why shouldn't she, Alessa realised? She was just as capable as Alessa herself, if not moreso. 'Of course you can, Lily,' Alessa replied, smiling gently toward the girl. 'You could build up your combat skills and, perhaps, develop your physique in the process. Just be-' She put a hand on her ally's shoulder at this point. 'Even if you don't, though, you should be aware that I don't see you as less capable than any of the other Wards. You all have your own strengths and weaknesses, and it's working out how bes-' Her speech slammed to a halt as her eyes widened with shock. [i]The other Wards.[/i] '...you should all join my classes,' she said, as if in revelation. 'Not just you, but the others too; we can all learn krav maga. There's- oh, oh boy,' she murmured, giggling slightly at the thought, oh boy oh jeez, this could be great for, for, was her sleep deprivation getting to her? Yeah, a little bit, but but but, 'We'll all be great at it, and it'll be amazing, and, and...' Okay, Alessa, time to chill out. Deep breaths, no need to hyperventilate yourself into a stupor, just relax so that you can process this thought properly. But it [i]was[/i] a great thought, and she'd absolutely thank Lillian for sparking it once she came up with a good response. Or a reward? Maybe that wasn't necessary, but thanks were in order for sure. Lillian giggled lightly at the sudden burst of excitement from Alessa, smiling fully for the first time in... Well, a long while it seemed. [Color=pink]"It could be good team bonding, too,"[/color] she followed up on Alessa's idea. It really was a good one, getting everyone involved to help sharpen themselves so that they wouldn't be in the same situation as they had been at the - No, she wasn't ready. Not to think about it so easily. Her smile slipped for a moment before she brought it back. 'Yeah, yeah, team bonding, for sure!' Alessa agreed exuberantly, nodding rapidly. 'If, uh, if nothing else, I can maybe help you guys train a little bit- well, maybe not, but if you need help with the techniques, then yeah, for sure, for sure!' Another deep inhalation brought her mostly back to her senses, and it was perhaps luck that she caught Lillian's smile slipping. Oh, jeez, that was no good. Something was on her mind. To be fair, she wouldn't be surprised if the warehouse mission wasn't getting to her too. Yeah, no, thanks brain, that's fine, just put Dean exploding there again. '...we're not going to let what happened at the warehouse happen again,' she stated. 'We'll grow stronger, and we'll do better next time, you hear me, Lily?' That, she hoped, was a promise she could keep. It was about now when their sandwiches turned up. Ah, perfect, exactly what she'd been hoping for! That LGBT looked goooood. Lillian released her breath in a long whoosh over her sandwich. Taking a few minutes of silence take a few bites, she finally replied. [Color=pink]"It won't happen again. Because I know there's people worth fighting for. Protecting. And it still bothers me, yeah, but it'll be okay. Because I've got Mom and you."[/color] Lillian turned bright red and coughed, diverting into eating her sandwich. [I]Awkward[/I] Lily seemed contemplative for a bit, so Alessa started eating her own sandwich too. It was actually pretty damn good, given that the guac added a bit of extra flavour to the rest of the sandwich without detracting from the textures at all. About halfway through, Lillian started to talk again, suggesting that she wouldn't let it happen again. She had people worth fighting for. Her mother, and... Alessa herself? Wait, what? Why was she being mentioned next to Lillian's mother, of all people? 'Uh, yeah, probably,' she considered with a confused frown, taking another bite to give herself some time to think up a proper answer, eventually smiling as she spoke. 'I, for one, would hope I could protect as many people as possible. All of the Wards, and indeed every single mother in the city. The warehouse was at least isolated, but I'd want to avoid something like that happening in public. That'd end poorly, for everyone.' Yeah, she nailed that one. And she managed to get past the warehouse matter as quickly as possible! She didn't need to keep considering the warehouse, not when it was... covered in... Puppies and kittens, Alessa, puppies and kittens... Lillian nodded as she finished her sandwich, talking a few moments to reply. [Color=pink]"But, uh, anyways... Do you have any plans this evening? I was thinking, if you're up for it anyways, maybe you'd like to join me on a walk? I feel like it helps, like, center myself. And I'd like to continue talking..."[/color] 'Plans? Uh... well, no, not really,' she confirmed, thinking it over on another mouthful of sandwich. Not that she remembered, anyway... God, maybe she should have a nap before then. She was not in a good state of mind at the moment. 'A walk might be nice, yeah. I've enjoyed this chat a lot so far, though I'd hate to cut it off in the middle when it's going so well.' She finished the sandwich off as Lillian responded, fairly sure beforehand that anything she said would have a good sentiment behind it. Lillian beamed at the agreement of the older Ward, folding up her used napkin methodically as she grinned goofily at the table.[color=pink] "I never was around people I could really talk to like this. Or someone who wouldn't just make me wake up if I fell asleep in their room. Not that I've ever done that, that I know of." [/Color]She laughed lightly.[color=pink] "I don't have to worry about what I say, not really. It's... Weird? Is this what friends are like?"[/color] With that last question she looked up at Alessa, tilting her head sideways a little. Huh. So Alessa was considered one of Lillian's friends... that was actually a good thing. Alessa often didn't have time to make friends, at least not after her trigger event, too much important work to do, so if she was one of Lillian's friends... 'I guess it is,' she uttered. 'That's... that's actually great, that you and I are friends. We can talk about stuff if we're bothered, right, or just stuff that's on our minds? It's probably good for both of us - and probably good for all of the Wards, if we can all be, you know, friends with one another.' Lillian smiled, shrugging a little. [Color=pink]"Yeah, but Elliot is a butthead..."[/color] she said as she scrunched up her nose in mock disgust. [Color=pink]"Have you been on the boards a lot?"[/color] 'He's certainly, ah, interesting,' Alessa agreed tentatively. 'Perhaps troubled, but then aren't we all? Ahem... uh, the boards, the boards, right. No, not much,' she admitted, rubbing the back of her head. 'I tend to find that they... sometimes don't offer much conversation. And, well, I can't help but try to make people feel better about things, but I think sometimes that winds up coming off as insincere, to put it lightly.' [color=pink]"Yeah, well, with the rumors people are being stupid. I hope they aren't true...I really don't like Masters,"[/color] Lillian said with a scowl. 'Hey, now,' Alessa chided lightly, smiling a little, 'you know Evelyn's a Master too. And... well,' she continued, her face dropping as she considered her next topic. 'I guess you didn't know Dean, but he [i]was[/i] a good person, though "troubled" was certainly truer for him than for anyone else. I don't know what happened to him. Maybe Patriarch had something to do with it, maybe it was somebody else... I don't know about people going to better places, but at least he's not suffering anymore.' He wouldn't die slowly, at least. Not after being blown to bits. Puppies, puppies, puppies... Lillian's smile turned sad for a moment before she stuck her tongue out. [Color=pink]"She's not controlling my brain or trying to take over the city."[/color] She scratched am itch behind her ear before continuing. [Color=pink]"So... You've never talked about yourself much...."[/color] Alessa giggled a bit when Lillian pointed out Lyn's inability to take over people's minds. Technically, that was true, just so long as she didn't have her tulpa take a power from another Master. Then the topic of Alessa herself came up. Oh boy. Yeah, that was a matter. 'Uh... well, there's not a whole lot to talk about,' she uttered somewhat lamely. 'My childhood was mostly good, I was given a reason to want better for the world... then, erm, most of my family died, and I triggered as a result, the details of that are in official records. Now I do what I can to keep Denver safe. And that's, uh, a fairly full-time task, I reckon.' Alessa shrugged to herself sadly. She didn't like talking about her family. It was a healed wound by now, the trauma rather overridden by newfound purpose at the time, but she'd rather not open it up. Not like... Puppies, kittens, cute bunnies... damn it, why do you keep going back to the warehouse? What is wrong with- puppies, puppies, puppies, God DAMN IT IT WON'T STOP. 'I, uh, need to take a quick bathroom break,' Alessa murmured, trying to keep her breathing under control as she stood and walked toward the WCs, blinking to try and force the images of raw meat spraying blood over her and all the crates and tables around her out of her mind. Shit, shit, shit, shut up brain, shut up, shut up, why would you DO THIS? She wasn't quite sure how long it took to get to the bathroom and lock herself into a stall, but she quickly collapsed to her knees over the bowl, heaving as she tried not to empty the contents of her stomach into it. That'd just be a waste of a good sandwich. Lillian watched Alessa go, frowning at the sudden shift and abrupt change. It concerned her, if she was being honest, and if her own difficulties were anything to judge, she could imagine Alessa was experiencing something along those lines. So she did what she felt any friend would do and followed after her a few moments later. Pushing into the bathroom, which was thankfully empty minus the two of them, she heard the sounds of her friend attempting to not barf. The noises gave her a knee-jerk reaction that she pushed down as put her hair back up. This next part was questionable, but it felt like the right thing to do. Lillian carefully squeezed herself under the door gap and sat behind Alessa, gently laying a hand on the girl's back as she sat behind her on her knees. [Color=pink]"Pushing it away doesn't help. Coming to terms and not letting it overwhelm you. It's... Not easy,"[/color] Lillian said softly, pulling Alessa's hair back in case she blew chunks. [Color=pink]"Having people to help makes a difference. And... And I'll be here when you're ready to talk about it and heal and whatever else you need."[/color] Her voice faltered at the end. She was... Definitely out of her depth here but she had to do something. Alessa barely registered Lillian squeezing under the stall's door, and flinched at the first touch on her back, but kept herself together enough to listen to the girl's speech; and through that, she got herself under control, forced her breathing patterns into check, was brought back into the real world again, a world of... sure, sometimes of darkness and death, but then again of so many good things too. Like Lily. She was so earnest in her desire to help - a mirror, perhaps, of Alessa's own burning drive to push the world to greater heights. She had no doubt that Lillian would ultimately do the same. 'Thanks,' she got out, choking up with emotion a little as she turned and hugged the girl. 'Thank you.' Christ, this wasn't usual of her... but, perhaps it wasn't all bad. She couldn't just let herself shut down, not again, not every time some failure hit her or the Wards. It wasn't leaderly of her, after all. 'I'll do better next time.' [color=pink]"It's not about doing better."[/color] Lillian's voice was slightly muffled as she returned the hug. [Color=pink]"You know you can always talk to me about anything, alright? I don't like seeing you sad. I want to help make you smile all the time, okay?"[/color] Now Alessa laughed whole-heartedly. Dammit, she was cute. 'You know what?' she said, pulling out of the hug to grasp Lily's shoulders and smile to her. 'If it'll make you happy, then I'll do my best to smile more. And... you know, if you need to talk to me about anything, feel free to do so, too. I want to be there for everyone, and that includes you.' Strange, really, how a heartfelt conversation between friends could improve one's mood so. Alessa reckoned the rest of the day was going to be alright. Lillian winked, grinning like an idiot. [Color=pink]"Great, because I like it when you smile. Now, about that walk..."[/color] [/Hider]