One of Ryan's favorite things about Brendon was his liveliness. As someone who surrounded himself with solemn poetry and tragic stories and depressing lyrics, it was nice to find a light in all the darkness; in fact Ryan was fairly certain Brendon was the one who breathed life and love into the new album (so much so he almost believed all the credit should just go to him, but Spence and Jon would probably object). Sometimes he was so exuberant it surprised other people, who reacted by mirroring him and drawing from his energy or got annoyed by it. Other times he was more lowkey, still clever and weird and playful but controlled, for no reason other than it being a quiet day or maybe he was tired out. Either way Ryan thought Brendon was ultimately the most charming out of all of them because of his personality, and he'd never seen it so different as it was now.

Even on the lazier days he didn't just shut down like that. Ryan felt tempted to call off the rest of the day, let them all go home or to whatever hotel was nearest and let him recover from whatever was going on. That was the thing, though; Ryan hadn't quite known him long enough to see him in [i]every[/i] situation, therefore didn't know where this all came from. If it was how he acted when he was feeling depressed or something, it was [i]awful.[/i] Ryan wasn't used to anything beyond 'suffering in silence' 'cause the only other two people he associated with were the most closed-off people in the world if you weren't asking directly. In fact Ryan wasn't even sure he could help, here. Maybe Brendon just wanted to be alone, which he'd certainly respect if that was the case, but letting him be by himself in this state was a worrying premise.

When they were alone and Ryan could finally address the issue, Brendon seemed a little torn on his knowing something was up. Of course he'd notice - but Brendon probably was trying to hide it. He nearly made to reassure him that it was likely just the band that saw something going on, but then again that'd presumably be a lie, considering the disappointment on some interviewers' faces when they couldn't get his attention or a word from him. Instead Ryan just asked, figuring even if he couldn't help he may as well know for future reference (and trying to dismiss the idea that something truly awful had happened to Brendon - mostly a nagging paranoia at the back of his mind, at this point).

[i]So, I have adhd.[/i] Shocker. Ryan didn't really register any surprise, just nodded thoughtfully, wondering how exactly this could be relevant - it was nice to know, though. Another addition to the 'Brendon facts' repertoire. [i]Diagnosed when I was- young. Hasn’t- been a problem until recently.[/i] Ryan speculated on what he meant by that. Was it a problem for him personally, trouble focusing or with his energy, or did he think it was a problem as it affected other people? If it was the latter, Ryan desperately wanted to reassure him that anyone who minded his bouts of hyperactivity could go fuck themselves; for the former he was already prepared to help Brendon feel a little normal again, find ways to cope, something. [i]I first started taking medication today and I- fuck, I feel like shit. I don’t even know what it’s supposed to do.[/i] Oh. Ryan's expression gave way to a little bit of concern although he was trying not to react too extremely. Thing is, medication was not something he could really help with, and - although he knew Brendon was responsible enough to know how to deal - it could potentially be impacting his health.

He hadn't keeled over or anything, though, and here he was alive and sort of well, so. Ryan reminded himself to not overreact as [i]always.[/i] He caught Brendon when he leaned into him, attempting to sooth with a hand stroking through his hair. He stayed quiet, trying to hear when Brendon spoke against his shoulder. [i]It was because people kept saying I was too hyperactive or whatever.[/i] [b]"What?"[/b] Ryan's gentle hold on him turned more into an embrace, suddenly feeling overprotective. [b]"That's bullshit. You're - Brendon, you're perfect without medication. 'Too hyperactive'... fuck, if that's what they're calling it, it's my favorite thing about you."[/b] He pressed a kiss against Brendon's head, eyebrows knotted together in frustration with whoever these 'people' in question were. Brendon was so out of it he couldn't string sentences together without those little breaks, couldn't speak the same expressive way he did before. If that's what people preferred over him being excitable... Ryan was probably taking it all a little too personally, so he tried to tone it down before continuing.

[b]"It clearly doesn't help, Bren. Is it okay - would you mind just, throwing it out? I mean, you don't [i]want[/i] to take it, right? And don't feel like you have to because people are assholes. The way you are naturally is just... I'm in love with [i]that[/i] version of you. There's nothing to change."[/b] It was hard not to get too corny about it, but. Ryan had successfully avoided the words 'amazing' or 'baby,' accidentally blurted out 'perfect' earlier, but whatever. Some cliches were allowed. He knew the way Brendon was feeling right now he probably had no capacity to respond to all of that, or maybe he didn't even fully register all of it, so Ryan pulled back a little just until he could look at him properly. [b]"How are you feeling now? A little better than this morning?"[/b] He brushed some hair out of Brendon's face, smoothing his thumb over his temple and trying to ignore all of the signs of him being affected by medication. He looked so tired Ryan almost wanted to just leave him alone to sleep it off, but. Brendon also barely had any water or food that Ryan saw, maybe he could convince Brendon to deal with that issue first.