[center][h3]Of Love[/h3] [i]A Collab by [@Greenie] and [@MacabreFox][/i] [hr] [hr] [/center] With the issue of food having been taken care of, Meg couldn't help but cast an eye over the rest of her companions. She was almost reminded of the night before the expedition, when they had been sitting around a fire as well, learning each others names and about them in general. It was a little disheartening to see not all of them were with them. Though Meg had not cared much for the older Altmer, she wouldn't have wished upon him death by the hands of a dwemer soldier. The same could be said for the much better liked Balroth. Her shoulders fell as she let out a slow breath. And what of Latro? She could still remember the drunken prank they had played by drinking all of the beer in Brynja's pitcher... Speaking of, Meg spotted her fellow Nord and decided it would be best to spend her efforts on those who were there before her rather that remenisce and sadden herself with the memories of those missing. As she did, she pulled off her cloak, offering it to Brynja. "How're you doin'?" she asked. The warmth of the fire did little to chase away the chill she felt in her body, she would have preferred to remove her clothes and let them dry properly, but that was not a luxury she had now. She found comfort by leaning up against a tree. Megana's voice filtered into her mind, and when she lifted her head, breaking her cemented gaze from the dancing flames, she saw Megana before her. The young Nord held out her cloak, an offering, Brynja regarded it momentarily, before she claimed the cloak with trembling hands. "Trying not to freeze my tits off." She said through gritted teeth, trying to force a smile, "How are you holding up?" Meg let out a humourless chuckle, "Not as cold as you." They were from Skyrim, cold was something they were used to, so Brynja had to be extremely cold to say that. There was a small tinge of guilt that crept into her heart about having been able to stay dry and afloat while her companions had to spend their time shivering in the water. She didn't say any of that out loud though; she had spent enough time with the group, save the one named Raelyn, to know that they would wave it off. Brynja managed a grin at her words. Taking a seat next to Brynja, Meg turned so that she was still facing the Nord. "I know what you're askin' 'bout though." A soft breath left her as she looked down, shaking her head; her voice was quiet as she continued to speak. "Truly? I don' know. I'm half scared the Dwemer's gonna be there in Skingrad too, an all of this caution's for nothin'. An' then..." Her hands clenched. "What if it's all 'cause of [i]us[/i]? What if they're chasin' after us?" Thoughts she had been silent came tumbling out of Meg before she could stop herself. Brynja didn't know what to say, she wanted to comfort her counterpart, but she didn't know Meg that well. What could she say? The truth. "It probably is our fault. But the way I look at it, if it weren't for us slinking around in those forgotten ruins, whose to say that some other folks wouldn't have found it sooner or later?" Ok well that sounded horrible. Brynja rushed to soften the blow of her words, "I doubt they'll be in Skingrad, out of all the cities they went to first, they chose the Imperial City. They must've had a reason for it." "I doubt they'll be interested in chasing us, it's not like we have anything of theirs that they want." Brynja added before a grin spread across her face, "Although, I'm not looking to die without my first kiss, so I've got something to keep on fighting for. What about you Megana? Don't you have someone sweet on you back home?" Meg looked up, surprise written clearly on her face at the sudden question. "I uh... I don' rightly know," she replied, managing not to stumble too badly. "Could've been, but I'd never've known. I know I didn' much fancy the lads back in Whiterun, an' I'm pretty sure Pa would've scared 'em off with his hammer or sommat..." She chuckled at the thought, though it faded as her thoughts seemed to head in another direction. "I did have someone I liked- not that he even knew, but he's not around anymore." She reached at her neck and pulled out the amulet of Mara for a couple of seconds before stuffing it back in. "Gave this to me once after treasure huntin', told me it was high time I found someone..." She shrugged a little before smiling wistfully. "Pa wouldn't've approved anyway, but some things your just can't help... 'sides, ain't like I like his wife much, but she makes him happy... that's enough for me." She was quiet for a small moment before raising an eyebrow at Brynja. "What 'bout you?" She grinned, a silly stupid grin at Megana’s words. It warmed her heart knowing that someone had taken a fancy to her. Enough to make tears fill her eyes. She let out a long, slow whistle. Brynja found comfort in Megana's presence, something like an old friend coming to chase away the wintertime blues and tell tall tales around the hearth. Maybe the reason why Brynja liked Megana so much, was the fact that she reminded her of Elyse, her youngest sister. She was a spunky girl, much like herself as a child, and while she kindly abided to their mother's wishes, there were many late night conversations where Brynja soothed Elyse's frayed nerves. ”Never was. You see the size of me? Most men think of me as some great beast to conquer. That, or I’m something terrible to even consider as a partner.” She fell silent for a moment before adding in, “I thought I loved someone. Thought him a noble man. Thought the whole bloody fuckin world of him, and in the end he was just as bad as these other walking pigheads. There was a woman that...” Brynja’s words faltered, was she certain she wanted to bring that up? ”No...” She shook her head, “Tell me about this lad. What made him so special in your eyes? Couldn’t have just been a pretty trinket, mm?” J'raij wasn't the easiest subject for Meg to talk about, but she could tell that the subject of special persons was harder on her companion that herself. "I actually met him when I was like... this high?" She put a hand up to show the height of a young child. "Back in Riften. Pa wasn't 'round much an' it was boring just stayin' in the city. I headed out an'..." She looked slightly sheepish. "Never met a khajiit before that. J'raij was nice though, nothin' like the people would say of his kind... well, 'least I thought so." A chuckle escaped her. "Did teach me how t'pick locks an' pockets. He left soon after though. Didn't think I'd meet him again, but when I finally left Winterun, I met him once more on the road. We'd become partners, go treasure huntin' and tomb raidin' together." Unknowingly she had started swaying back and forth, a small smile lingering on her lips. "It was fun while it lasted." "Seems like how that always goes, doesn't it? We fall in love, and we're willing to do anything to help them." Brynja gazed on steadily at Meg before her shoulders drooped. "I don't think I've ever told anyone this... it was when I served under Rorik as his Housecarl...I won't deny that I had feelings for him. He was a handsome Nord, tall, kind, adventurous... I followed that man everywhere, and I would have followed him to the ends of Nirn. I was sworn to carry his burdens after all. We did the Jarl's bidding. We exterminated rabid wolves terrorizing farmer's flocks, we reclaimed lost treasures, hell, we even once killed a Hagraven together. Nasty blights they are." She paused in remembering those years past, it was as if she were swimming in uncharted waters now, falling off a waterfall she would never be able to climb up again. "Suppose I didn't know him that well. One day, the house was up in chaos as we caught wind that we were to prepare a feast. And I remember that day just like it was yesterday. I was out in the garden picking lavender for our cook. She wanted to make pastries, and needed fresh lavender. I can still hear how his voice called my name. I remember standing up, and I looked right at him. I watched him come right over to me... and he kissed me, Megana. That was the first time I've been kissed. Gave me a rose as a [i]token[/i] of his affection." She sighed, not out of nostalgia, but about what she was going to say next. "That night, as I lay awake in bed, someone knocked on my door. When I went to open it, I saw this young lass, perhaps no older than yourself... and she asked me to take her back home. Made me swear not to tell anyone. I never questioned it. She was one of the guests from the feast that day, so I just assumed she must have fallen asleep and missed her carriage ride home. I took her back to Windhelm, and by dawn I was home in my bed again. I thought that was the last I would see of her..." Her throat tightened, tears stinging her eyes again. That unbearable lump formed in her throat. "That was until three months went by, and Rorik sent me to Windhelm to fetch the lass along with a priest. When I claimed her, I could see that... she was with child. I knew what happened then, and I'm sure I don't need to tell you what happened. When I returned, Rorik and Iona were wed. That was her name, Iona. And..." Brynja's chest heaved as she fought to keep her composure. If the world was ending by return of Dwemer and their giant fuckoff airships, then she might as well get it all out before she died. "I thought that I would get along fine with Rorik marrying this woman. He was doing the right thing after all, marrying her out of wedlock. It's what I would expect from my brothers if they had done something similar. I was charged with helping Iona, anything to ensure that she would bring Rorik a healthy child. I helped bathe her, rubbed her swollen feet; I even helped prepare potions to help her with the nausea. It wasn't until another three months later when she asked me one night, something that haunts me to this day. She wanted my help... to end her pregnancy. Iona told me that the night of the feast, her parents had been in attendance. They purposefully left early so that Iona and Rorik could be together. Iona told me that Rorik was drunk that night, and I knew it as well. He forced himself on her, she didn't know what to do. She didn't even want to go to that feast. She had someone she truly loved back in Windhelm. Someone her parents didn't approve of. She wanted me to end her pregnancy, and elope with her lover... Alezzio was his name." "I... I don't know why I did it, Megana. I should have told her no, that such foolish fantasies would never come to pass. But the look on her face... I knew she wouldn't be happy under that roof. So I did what she asked of me. I used a bottle of Essence of Nightshade. I remembered back in the war, there was an Altmer woman, Cerys was her name, who taught me how to heal outside the use of magick. I remembered her using that bottle to help ease the pain for the wounded soldiers, and even to knock them unconscious. There was a rhythm she taught me long ago, and I fucked it all up that night. I was suppose to give Iona four drops of nightshade... and instead I gave her seven." Brynja covered her face with one hand, her face twisting in anguish upon reliving that horrible night. "There was so much blood... I didn't know what to do... I just held her... Rorik wasn't home, and all the other help were either gone or retired for the night. When dawn came... I cleaned up what blood I could..." She was a shaking mess by now, "I didn't dare dream of going to sleep, instead I went into the garden to wait for Rorik to return. I didn't say a damned word about what I had done. I let them all believe that she had miscarried. We buried her soon after and Rorik went into mourning... I started to resent him by then... I couldn't stand him anymore. The more I watched him, the more I saw that he didn't give much a damn about Iona. His head hovered in the clouds, and he started chasing women. I never once saw that man cry after we buried her. It was like Iona hadn't existed at all. He remarried not before long. Said he was ending my service because he didn't want to cause any conflict between Ethelred and I." Her trembling had eased, and a profound calm came over her. How long had she bottled that up? How long had she held onto that dark secret. She sought for something to say now, but she couldn't find any words. Part of her questioned whether or not Megana would turn against her. For a moment Meg remained as she was, quiet and motionless, eyes cast to the ground. Yet she couldn't remain that way for long, her heart aching for what Brynja had been through. She didn't hesitate, reaching out to take hold of the other Nord's hand, giving it a small squeeze. "I'm sorry Brynja." How hard must it have been for her to hold something like that inside for so long? All those feelings... how hadn't they burned a hole through the woman already? Meg's eyes stung just thinking about it. "I'm sorry you had t'go through somethin' like that," she continued softly, shaking her head. "I know... people go through all sortsa shit, but still... don't mean it's any less." She bit on the inside of her lip, catching herself from becoming too emotional. "But... thanks for trustin' me enough to tell me. An'... well... I'm kinda glad you're not there no more, y'know? 'cause that means you're here. I mean... well, I'm not glad we're stuck in this situation... but at least I know someone like you's got my back." It was a rather awkward attempt at a compliment, so Meg decided to pipe down thereafter. Megana's hand around hers was unexpected, though Brynja welcomed the gesture. She sniffed, and with one hand wiped away the tears. What a sight she must be, a massive Nord woman almost seven feet tall crying her eyes out. She could only imagine the social strain she must have placed on Megana, she sighed, as if she couldn't quite catch her breath. "Sometimes, we do stupid things for love." Her storm-blue eyes locked with Meg's, "And don't you worry lass. I'll always have your back." Her eyes scanned the area, there were faces missing from the original party. "I hope Solandil made it out alive.... he's quite a bit of a handsome fellow." She mused, a small smile spreading across her face before she winked at Meg. "What do you think? Who do you think is handsome in our group, eh? Alim?" For the second time, Meg was caught by surprise, though this time she didn't stumble, letting out a small chuckle instead. "Hm..." she murmured, putting her free hand to her chin as if she was actually giving a serious thought to the question. "It'd be a lie to say most of the lads here ain't pretty." Her lips twisted into a smirk as she cast a glance over the rest of those gathers. "So few of 'em too. Not too sure whether they'd be keepers though." She could help but snicker. "Seein' least one of them brings tag alongs." She looked to Raelyn, still quite unsure about the Breton. "She looks like she's got a stick up her ass, that one, " She said nodding at Raelyn as well. It was like Anifaire, but as a Breton. Brynja hoped that the newest member to the company wasn't entirely useless. Though to be fair, she hadn't even spoke a single sentence to the Breton. "Well if I were an entire foot shorter, some of the might look my way." She chuckled, "Some bloke once boasted that he'd like to climb me like a tree. So I poured my ale over his head." Her eyes shifted, "Latro wasn't too hard on the eyes either. And I suppose Gaius isn't half bad looking either, at least he's aging well." She caught sight of Rhea by the fire. "I'm not too particular with my choices in a partner, but Rhea is one fine woman. Though I guess you're right. I doubt any of them would be proper to bring home to Ma." She let out a low chuckle, in her mind's eye she pictured how her mother and brother would react if she were to waltz through the door of their home with anyone on her arm. "I never thought of a lass for a lover," Meg mused, speaking more to herself than to Brynja, though it was loud enough for her to hear. "I don' rightly know what Pa would think of that though I'm bettin' he's open to anythin' so long as they're no khajiit or argonian." She shrugged her shoulders. "He still has the wrong notions 'bout them, an' it ain't like he'd listen to reason..." She blinked. "He's not bad though! Just kinda..." She shrugged. "Set in his thoughts." “Aye, I’m not sure how my mother would take to me bringing home a woman either. Though, I don’t think her or my father were stuffy about race or gender. Heck, I think they’d just be surprised in general!” Brynja said mulling over the idea. “Maybe he wouldn’t be so hard in his ways if you brought home Judena? She’s got a tender heart, and of course, a soft head.” She chuckled, giving Meg a gentle pat on the knee. ”He’d probably be in an uproar if you brought home Daro’Vasora in that case.” She added, her gaze shifting to the forlorn Khajiit sitting by herself. ”You mentioned him earlier, the one that gave you the Amulet. J’raij? Was that his name?” "That's right," Meg replied with a nod. "J'raij. I thought he was a merchant when I was a child. Well..." She laughed once more. "I s'pose he was, just not the honest kind. As for the amulet, I don' really need it... not really lookin' for anythin'. I like keepin' it though, like my sword and chest piece. Reminders. They don' make me sad- well, a little sometimes, but mostly just grateful? That I knew 'em even if they had t'go." It felt different though, when she didn't know if someone was still alive or gone. Not for the first time that day, she silently prayed that Latro and Balroth were safe, wherever they were. Brynja nodded at her words, "You have your trinkets to help your remember, and me... I have my bottles to help me forget. We all have our ways to cope." She paused again, looking Megana over, she wanted to ask more about J'raij, but maybe now wouldn't be the best of times. She peeled away the cloak, and handed it over to Megana. "Best get some sleep while you can, lass. It'll be a long day tomorrow."