Brendon honestly thought it was getting a little ridiculous now- he wasn’t used to being so embarrassingly desperate and almost needy, and his excuse the next morning would inevitably be ‘I was tipsy’ and ‘I haven’t had any physical intimacy in months’, but he would know that really he was just vying for Ryan’s attention that much that he was willing to sacrifice whatever sense of dignity he had just to get his ex (were they still exes? He wasn’t even sure, they certainly weren’t acting like it) to kiss him. Unfortunately, Ryan didn’t seem to care about his desperation even as he wrapped his tie around his hands and tugged with considerable force, trying to pull him down to his lips. When he couldn’t, though, he remembered the difference in size and strength and even that made him a little weak. Brendon was gone, he was enamoured, he was obsessed again- and he realised distantly he’d never stopped, he’d just suppressed it. Now he could touch again, and he wanted to taste. Ryan, annoyingly, didn’t seem to feel that sense of urgency.

It wasn’t like they had all the time in the world. They were at a party, for God’s sake; Brendon was almost expecting that if he turned around, Gabe would he standing there with their phone, recording it. He was past caring at this point, though- even still, he wanted the moment to themselves, not interrupted by some annoying guest who wanted to get to the cocktail umbrellas that were on the counter behind where Ryan and Brendon were leaning, pressed together, Ryan’s hands at his waist, looking way too compromised to think of any plausible excuse for. Brendon silently told Ryan that this kiss he was taking forever to gear up for was worth it, and all he got in return was a laugh, to which he retaliated by pressing his hips closer, intentionally. That would wipe the smile off his face. Brendon realised whether they were on the same level of almost ridiculous sense of urgency, because he was barely keeping it together and Ryan was taking forever just to say something dumb and serious.

Sure, he got that Ryan was wary- Brendon had dumped [i]him[/i], after all- but Brendon really wasn’t in the mood to apologise or rekindle the more emotional parts of their relationship right now. Yes, he was still in love, but that could wait. Why couldn’t it wait? Frustration was rampant now, and he responded to what Ryan said with short answers, hoping to slice whatever meaningful conversation Ryan had planned in half. Again, it wasn’t like he didn’t want this side of their relationship again- in fact it was probably his favourite part (well, he liked to say so)- but he was tipsy, and different thoughts were running through his head and he kind of really needed to take a cold shower. Luckily, finally, miraculously, Ryan finally got the picture, and Brendon almost short circuited, almost forgetting to breathe.

One of Ryan’s hands was at the back of his neck and the other was joined with where Brendon was holding onto his tie but he didn’t close his eyes yet, he instead made eye contact for a few moments before he let them slide shut and leaned in almost involuntarily when Ryan finally kissed him, practically lifting him into it. Brendon’s hands pulled away from his tie after a moment and dropped down to Ryan’s hips, holding on. He let himself blank, melting a little, chasing when Ryan pulled back and finally inhaling, short of breath. Brendon opened his mouth to speak and took a few seconds to register that Ryan’s mouth was now at his neck. [b]”What are you- fuck,”[/b] He took a sharp intake of breath, feeling himself heat up again. [i]Sorry to make you wait.[/i] Brendon just kind of hummed incomprehensibly, letting his eyes close. [b]”You’re fucking- evil.”[/b]

Distantly, Brendon registered that the long buildup was worth it, that the end result was worth the wait by far. Scenes were playing behind his eyelids, things he was entertaining that would happen if the circumstances of this reunion were different- more secluded. He blinked hard, moving his hands from his hips to his waist and then to the counter, a hand on either side of Ryan’s body. [b]”I missed [i]this[/i], too.”[/b]