To Brendon, now that everything involving him and Ryan in a relationship and having a future was now a when and not just a maybe, or an if, the urgency for the reclamation of their deep romantic and emotional connection wasn’t rampant- at least, it hadn’t surfaced as much as the desire for physical connection and affection. Having gone a few months with nothing, no intimate human contact at all (he obviously still hugged and embraced his friends but Brendon needed it on a different level), he was almost desperate, his body tense with anticipation and apprehension because god, he’d missed this. He’d missed the attention that Ryan gave so liberally, and he’d missed showing such affection. He was good at it, better so than he was at actually telling someone how he felt, even if he was a decent lyricist by this point. Brendon, unlike Ryan, preferred to just go with the flow and follow his impulses- partly because he was impulsive anyway, with very little sense of control.

To him, what Ryan was doing was intentional and cruel, making a mockery of Brendon’s obvious end goal, which was to kiss and touch and make up as much as was possible from the months of nothing. In order to achieve this, to earn it, almost, he rattled off what was not only exactly what Ryan wanted to hear, but also what he genuinely meant. That he’d never been so positive of something in his entire life than he was now, having fully decided he wanted Ryan back. He wished he’d never left him in the first place. Luckily, Ryan was easy to please- moments later and they were kissing, and Brendon remembered the sensation but was still moonstruck all the same. He felt, however dramatic it was, at peace- like how he had been by the lake, outside the cabin. In love, content, like nothing could ever come between them- not even themselves and their own stupid, foundationless fears and useless doubts. Brendon wondered how he’d ever felt differently, even if only for a little while.

Nothing had changed. Ryan acted the same, looked the same (if not taller and hotter, if it was possible), kissed the same. Brendon kind of committed it all to memory, just in case he decided to he stupid again and break it off once more. He doubted Ryan would take him back after that. All that said, Brendon wasn’t one to dwell on the past or future; everything and all that mattered was just this moment. Brendon’s hands went a little slack at Ryan’s hips just as Ryan finished working on the mark on his neck. Having been kind of preoccupied, he didn’t realise how high up it was, reaching up to touch it and press down a little, wincing minutely before dropping both of his arms to press his hands against the counter, tilting his head slightly and leaning in to Ryan as he touched the forming bruise on his skin. [i]Am I.[/i] [b][i]”Yes,”[/i][/b] He repeated passionately, biting his lip. [b]”That’s fuckin’ high. What was the ulterior motive?”[/b] It was a miracle he could even say that word when he was considerably tipsy.

Either way, he didn’t particularly care about the lovebite (well, he did, which would he proven the next morning where he’d be staring at it in the mirror, burning up and in the need of a cold shower). He was just interested in getting as much out of this reunion as he could, because time and place was against them. It was a miracle somebody hadn’t come in and complained already (there were people in the kitchen, but they were few and too drunk to care anyway). His eyelashes fluttered minutely. [i]You’re always better at it.[/i] Honestly- Brendon seconded that. [i]I tend to talk too much.[/i] Now that was something he could agree with. Nodding vigorously, he opened his eyes with a lazy smirk and leaned in again to complete the chaste kiss. Soon, there were slow, sweet kisses being peppered along his cheekbone and temple and Brendon was hit with a wave of affection, wondering how plausible it was to stay like this forever. Time, he figured, should stop for such a monumental occasion.

[b]”I love you,”[/b] Brendon mumbled suddenly, moving away and down slightly to press his mouth against his throat, speaking against his skin and then moving to kiss just where he could feel Ryan’s pulse. [b]”Fuck, I never stopped.”[/b] After a moment, he grinned, moving up again to press a kiss against the corner of his mouth, Ryan-style. [b]”This is like fucking... the Cabin, all over again. [i]My feelings for you have remained consistently the same.[/i]”[/b] A pause. This was so much to register, even if it was nothing he hadn’t felt before. Although he was capable of being that legible at this point, Brendon was still driven mostly by his impulses, and he pressed close again, trying to eliminate all space between them and catch him again in a kiss, this time less chaste and more semi-purposeful, his pulse starting to race as his entire body flushed with a familiar heat. [b]”I love you,”[/b] He repeated, on pausing to breathe. [b]”I’ve missed you, and I talk too much too.”[/b]