[color=00DEDA]"Well hey there, gang!"[/color] Alex said, sliding into a seat which he decided was the closest to the middle of all of them. He'd jut been brought in from his own procedure, which mostly consisted of him trying to bully the doctors while to stop himself from going insane as they injected him with [i]some[/i] kind of excessively painful shit.

He was pretty sure he hadn't broken any of them yet, probably because they were able to get him writhing in pain as he spoke, but hey, that just meant it was mutually beneficial! Codependency! Sometimes it works!

[color=00DEDA]"Now, I'm a little tired thanks to the procedure, so my insults probably won't be quite as top quality as usual. Thankfully though, you're all top quality targets, so you make them better just by being the subject! And the first victim for today is you!"[/color]

And at this, he pointed straight at Sage, an amused expression on his face.

[color=00DEDA]"What's with the cocky expression kiddo? You're probably the only person in this goddamned facility I can take in a fight without getting my nose broken, but your strutting around like you own the place! It's not your highschool bud, you can't sneak your dads gun in to punish all the kids who bullied you!"[/color]

Wow, he was feeling better already! And he [i]never[/i] felt good, so this was nice, all in all.

[color=00DEDA]"Now on to you, Vic, and yes I actually remember your name. Sure, it was only because I called you Vicky once and you said something along the lines of "I will be the one to end you. You may run, but you will never escape that destiny.", but hey, it was pretty memorable. Now if only there weren't a bunch of useless government drones hanging around us at every given moment, maybe your threats wouldn't be as empty as the husk I call a soul, and I would be somewhat intimidated."[/color]

However, when he opened his mouth to continue, he quickly snapped it shut again, shaking his head as if in pain.

[color=00DEDA]"Ah, ah shit..." [/color]He said slowly, blinking as he looked back to the others. [color=00DEDA]"Sorry guys, ignore me. Usually I'd wait until someone says something retarded before I go off at them, but I think whatever they injected me with is fucking with my brain. I mean, I'm already pretty fuckin brain dead, but still... I'm just glad I didn't waste anymore of my material on the other two of you, especially with that edgetardy delivery... Gotta save [i]that[/i] for a rainy day."[/color]

As he spoke, he looked down to the food he'd gotten, almost as if he was seeing it for the first time.

[color=00DEDA]"Is this literal shit? Because this looks like actual, human faeces."[/color]

And then he lookeds slightly upwards, staring off into space.

[color=00DEDA]"Actually, that reminds me of a story..."[/color]

[hr]

[b]Like, one and a half, maybe two years ago? I don't fuckin remember.[/b]

[color=00DEDA]"It all started when I was out the front of gramps' flower shop, where I was working at the time. I was making all the display flowers look nice, when some absolute cuntstick walked past with his dog. Now normally, this would all be fine, I love dogs, but this was one of those [i]unique[/i] failures of genetic engineering. This assnugget, with his topknot and lensless glasses, was walking past me, and his dog decides it needs to shit. Again, normally fine, accept the dumbass stops, looks at the shit, and then keeps going.

Now let me tell you, I was [i]pissed[/i]. So I call out to the guy, and I say "Hey guy, what the fuck? Why wouldn't you pick up your dogs shit?" And then he walks up to me, [i]pokes me in the center of my chest[/i] like he's a highschool jock instead of a skinny, intellectually defective hipster shit, and says "What are you complaining about, it's free manure!" So, I did what I think any of us would've done in that situation, and used my powers to make him trip and fall in the shit when he tried to walk away. Two hours later, I was lying in the ground with a tranq dart in my ass, a hipster douchebag gloating about how he was the one to turn me on to his stupid hipster friends, and a burning rage in my heart. And so, assuming someone with taste in clothes hasn't lynched him in a back alley already, I'm gonna find that microcephalic tweed-tosser and making him fall in shit again. Because I guess at the end of the day, I'm kind of a petty asshole."[/color]

[hr]

[color=00DEDA]"And that's my sad backstory..."[/color] Alex said, staring wistfully into the distance. [color=00DEDA]"Tragic, isn't it? But despite all the tears that you're no doubt struggling to contain, it needed to be said, if for no other reason than to distract me enough to eat this shit."[/color]

And then he pushed the empty tray away, surprised that it didn't actually taste all that bad.