So maybe Brendon was starting to sound a little like a broken record, and a little like an eager, desperate puppy, but Ryan never listened to him and this sudden shift from constant round-the-clock attention to... well, a little less, to Brendon seemed like he was being neglected in favour of something trivial, like work. In all fairness, he had been the one to try and convince Ryan that he [i]needed[/i] to focus more, than he needed to make his own music (because Brendon adored it)- but, like he said. He never thought Ryan would actually listen to him and follow through with actual results. Deep down, Brendon was proud of him; Ryan didn’t always have the greatest work ethic and to see him actually concentrating while playing and actually taking time for his own music and not being at Brendon’s ‘beck and call’ was probably, now he thought about it, action worthy of praise, not deserving of such petty complaints. Brendon hesitated momentarily, because though he was still angry and motivated by his own perceived neglect, he was starting to become self aware. It wasn’t fun. All he wanted was for it to be like normal after shows- they’d be breathless and tired and would go practically straight to bed anyway, but it was nice, familiar. Brendon felt completely uncomfortable, and this emotion had mixed with his frustration in an unwelcome cocktail.

Ryan sometimes behaved in similar ways- like when Brendon overheated and left their room in the middle of the night to crash on the couch- but nowhere near this level of dramatic, and it never grew into anything past mild mournfulness. He always got over it, never angry, like Brendon was now; something inside of him just tended to convert all negative emotions from confusion to sadness into anger, that Aries passion kind of a curse because he experienced everything so intensely and often dealt with it in the wrong ways. So, when Ryan simply said he was worried about Brendon being so flippant and reckless, Brendon just rebuked his concern, almost going back on his own argument to say that he [i]didn’t[/i] need constant attention. The fact was, he did, but not like he was being [i]parented.[/i] He got enough of that from Dallon; he didn’t need it from his husband.

Again, he found a flaw in his own argument and faltered, kind of losing track of what he was saying and avoiding eye contact with Ryan, who he could see from the corner of his eye was shaking his head, seeming very exasperated- but still patient. Maybe Brendon was being ridiculous and inconsiderate- Ryan had remained relatively patient and Brendon couldn’t fault him for that, really; but he found himself getting more worked up anyway because why couldn’t he be that chill? Well. Ryan was far from what someone would describe as a ‘chill’ person, but in this situation, with Brendon acting a little deranged, he was the one smelling of roses while Brendon was floundering. He hated it- Brendon, though he always talked about going with the flow, liked to be at least in rough control. This wasn’t under his control any more.

For a moment, he had almost regained his footing, but then. [i]No, you’re right.[/i] That threw him off. Brendon narrowed his eyes, and was outraged that upon closer study, Ryan was [i]smiling[/i]. Frustration and upset inappropriate for such a relatively trivial matter was suddenly overwhelming and he struggled to find a response, just stared, dumbfounded. [i]This is a reasonable reaction to, uh... Me not kissing you, whenever I was supposed to.[/i] It was obvious that Ryan still wasn’t, and didn’t plan on, taking him seriously- so Brendon kind of lashed out, trying to regain advantage and this was all wrong, this wasn’t how married couples were supposed to treat and talk to eachother, but he was too far gone now. He couldn’t back out now- he was too proud to admit defeat.

[i]I’m flattered.[/i] Sarcasm, a suppressed grin- Brendon felt, for once in his life, very taken for granted- Ryan didn’t seem particularly bothered by anything he said, and though future him would be glad no real offence was caused, he really did feel unappreciated. Whether the cause was valid enough to that emotion to be viable, he felt it either way. Brendon kind of pushed the line out of hurt, then went quiet, just watching resignedly as Ryan stepped closer. [i]Yeah, I do. And you know it, so don’t act like that.[/i] Brendon could have scoffed, said [i]you haven’t really acknowledged my existence today, never mind the fact you love me,[/i] But Brendon was still rendered uncharacteristically mute.

[i]Okay, so what am I supposed to do now?[/i] [b]”I don’t know, fuck off?”[/b] [i]I’ll make up for it, don’t tell me what you want.[/i] Ryan, quite obviously very amused by Brendon’s irritation, extended himself up to emphasise the height difference, and Brendon felt small. He crossed his arms across his chest, looking back at him. [b]”A new roommate,”[/b] Brendon said stonily, with dead seriousness, then stepped back and turned around, going over to the bedside table where he’d left his phone, checking the time and then turning back around to face him. [b]”I can tell you think this is funny, and whatever. Maybe I am selfish- childish- arrogant- whatever you think of me,”[/b] He said almost delicately, like he couldn’t bear to say it himself. [b]”But you hurt my feelings today and you don’t care. So fuck you.”[/b] Brendon hesitated then turned away towards the bathroom, walking into the suite and closing the door behind him. He didn’t lock it.