[h3][u][i]Friends, Enemies and the line between them[/i][/u][/h3]

With the ongoing festival, it was a lot easier for a few misfits to squeeze through the cracks. The guards were overworked trying to keep track of all the visitors. Of course all the big names were kept on lists, but the average schmuck got barely more than a cursory check before being waved through. No guard wanted to be [i]that guy[/i], you know the one. The one that keeps everyone back because they think that guy in the crowd sort of looks like that petty thief from three nights ago. No, the guards were there to do their job. Big important guests got ticked off the list, everyone else just had to present a badge.

And you know, those badges weren't exactly hard to come across. Sometimes in the excitement, people would drop theirs. Particularly skilled craftsmen could make near perfect replicas. Maybe you'd find one on, say, the battered and broken corpse of a greedy, exploitative merchant and his bodyguards on the road to the city. Lots of places to pick one up.

So was it really a surprise that Siiga Kalayo, notorious outlaw and defiler of heirs, had managed to give the guards the slip? I don't imagine so. And was it [i]really[/i] surprising that her and her closest companions had managed to sniff out a bar and were currently in the process of getting, and I believe this is the medical term, drunk as a fiddler's bitch? Of course, they weren't all three sheets to the wind. While her companions were busy making their livers cry, Siiga herself was taking a more moderate approach. After all, what was the point of having a fun night if you couldn't remember it the next morning? 

Of course they got some funny looks. It didn't help that, being strapped to the teeth, girded in light armour and with bandannas hanging from their necks, ready to be pulled over their faces at a moment's notice, they couldn't more obviously be bandits if someone had pinned their wanted posters to the back of their necks. But the thing is, they hadn't actually done anything yet. Sloshed though they may be, they hadn't been belligerent or particularly loud, nor where they driving the clientele away. They'd paid for all their drinks, though it probably wasn't a good idea to think too hard about where the money came from, and even their passes at the serving girls had been tamer than what they were used to. Except for Stretch. But Stretch was a fucking idiot. No one listened to Stretch.

Now, they were all set up for having a jolly old time of drinking, maybe a bit of dancing later and probably having a massive feast with all the money that someone else worked so hard to earn. But Siiga's relative sobriety meant she was acutely aware of what everyone around her was saying. Most ignored them. The few that made comments said stuff like "they're having fun" or "Looks like they're having a good time". Harmless stuff. Except for those three. Stuffed shirt types in heavy armour, they were, and coincidentally, a trio of colossal dicks. Every time one of the gang made a joke, they'd sneer and turn their noses up at them. If they ordered another round of beers, they would request some fancy-ass wine with a name that sounded exactly like the noise your dog makes when he's somehow swallowed a plastic bag. It was starting to get on Siiga's nerves.

But the last straw came when they finally made a comment about them out loud. Stretch thought he was a lady's man. Because of course it was Stretch. When is it ever not Stretch? No, seriously, pause for a second and think of a time when a night out was fucked up by anyone except Stretch. Can't do it, can you? Fuck's sake, Stretch. Anyway, he had been hitting on this waitress all night, who had been taking it pretty well, when he pulled the cheesiest line out of his ass.

"Hey, babe, I wish I could rearrange the alphabet, so I could put U and I together"

The waitresses didn't even blink "We don't need to rearrange the alphabet. N and O are already next to each other"

That's what you get, Stretch. Next time don't be such a goddamn moron. After that verbal spanking, Stretch was noticeably quite embarrassed and the others were teasing him for it when one of the armoured types said:
"Of course she said no. The ladies here actually have some class." And then, looking dead at Siiga, he added, "Most of them, anyway"

That was the tipping point. Siiga wasn't going to take an insult like that to her face without saying something. She'd had just enough of these stuffy asswipes.
"What was that? You said something."

To their credit, two of them at least had the decency to look embarrassed. The one who actually made the comment, he did not.
"I said, most of the ladies here have class. Is that a word your familiar with, you drunken whore?"

Siiga didn't back down. Oh, no, not one bit. She stood up, cracked her knuckles, and responded "And I thought today was gonna be boring! Come on, tough guy, come here and say that to my face!"

The stuffy type didnt rise to her challenge sadly
"Oh, and she's violent, too! I'd love to fight, but I'm afraid I'd catch some kind of disease from your blood"

"Ooh, good one. I'll need to remember that next time I'm rolling off of your mum." Childish, maybe, but it was all a set-up for "How [i]is[/i] your sister these days? Daddy still treating her well?"

That one struck a nerve. "Is that supposed to be funny?"

"Jeez, lighten up, big guy. Where's your sense of humour?" The bandit went on. "I think Daddy's been leaving someone out of family fun time again~"

The armoured guy's eyes narrowed and his voice was a hoarse whisper. "Say that again. I dare you."

"Oh, you mean, the thing I just said, right now? Certainly. Ahem. I - that's me - think - thats a mental process, you might not be familiar with it - Daddy - that is, your father - has been leaving someone - thats you - out of family fun time -I, heh, really don't think we need to go into that - again - that's implying that this has happened before"

The atmosphere in the bar was noticeably tenser than it was ten minutes ago. You could almost hear the silent willing of the onlookers chanting "fight, fight, fight" as the two squared off. Actually, that might just be me, I forgot to take my Seroquel this morning.